Relationship is a Verb
I met Marcia on the hippie trail in the early 70′s, beginning in Venice, California. We traveled together to India on two one-way tickets as we didn’t have enough money between us to buy two round trip tickets… it was simply two one-way tickets to ride, or no way out… in any case, we were living on love. Our first home together in Mother India was under a cashew tree in Arambol, a then virgin beach in Goa, (remember I am talking the 70′s here), before heading north to the Himalayas. Right smack in the middle of the trail, we met Osho and our lives changed forever. Meeting Osho was a happy beginning for me, and equally an unhappy ending of my relationship with Marcia, now Krishna Priya. My gut told me that my relationship was in trouble. I went to Osho to get to the heart of the matter…
I booked a leaving darshan with Osho to say goodbye to him as my plan was to make a complete circle by returning to California to open a commune based on his meditations… Krishna Priya choosing to stay behind until my dream came true – then she would join me. Osho agreed with Krishna Priya, while I simply wasn’t sure which way was up… In front of a burning candle I rehearsed my questions to Osho on what I was going to ask about my relationship until all that was left of me was a wax wave on my wooden floor.
I hadn’t been apart from my beloved for two years and I was nervous about being without her. I wanted to ask Osho whether I could trust that she’d come and follow me to California… could I be sure that she wouldn’t fall in love with someone else? I was simply beside myself… by now I was even jealous of Osho as I was no longer the most important man in my woman’s life…
Darshan in 1975 was in Lao Tzu House on the front car porch. Ten of us were scheduled to sit with him one to one and I was going to be number ten.
It felt like an eternity before it was my turn. Finally he looked at the boy in the ninth position and his eyes were so big, they overflowed onto me and I thought he was gesturing me to come forward. So eagerly I got up. Of course it wasn’t my turn and he told me to have patience and I promptly sat down again.
I was so embarrassed I nearly died.
The ninth boy came to sit in front of Osho and as soon as he sat down, he began to cry. And he wouldn’t stop crying and Osho waited, and finally Osho broke the silence and said to him,
“What seems to be the problem?”
And the boy related this story: “I bought a brand new pair of sandals today and when I got out of Kundalini Meditation at five-fifteen, my sandals were gone!”
And then he burst into tears again.
Osho closed his eyes and when the boy stopped crying, Osho opened his eyes again and he said to the young boy, “I can’t help you with your loss, but what I can suggest is that tomorrow you go MG Road and you buy another new pair of sandals, and when you go to Kundalini Meditation, you take one new sandal off and you put it on the top middle shelf and you take the other new sandal and you put it on the bottom shelf on the far left.” And then he added: “No one ever steals one sandal!”
And then the boy’s tears turned into laughter, and it looked to me like Osho was very proud of himself. He was just beaming with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen in your life. Everyone else was laughing.
And then Osho reached out and held the boy’s hands, they stood up at the same time and, as if music began playing, Osho did a tiny dance with the boy, and then, still beaming, gave a Namaste salutation to his beloveds and walked out, and that was the end of darshan.
I felt like a sannyasin left out in the cold.
And to this day, I don’t know anything about relationship! So you my friend are on your own… I still don’t know anything about relationships except I have learned the hard way that relationship is a verb called relating.
I did, however, found the Geetam Sannyas Ashram in Lucerne Valley, California, for Osho in ‘75, which turned out to become the biggest meditation centre in the States, and my now ex-girlfriend never stepped onto the property once. It goes to show you never can tell… meditation, like love, is not what you think.
And just to point out that ‘not knowing is the most intimate’, Positive TV out of England has invited me to share my knowledge of relationship with its viewers… please feel free me check out on http://positivetv.tv/category/channels/celebrity-shorts/
“Attachment and love never go together; commitment and attachment never go together. Love goes with unattachment. Then love has a purity of the other world. Then love is absolute essence, absolute pureness, innocence. And then there is a commitment. That commitment is eternal.” Osho