Lokesh with the latest from Bangalore

GANDHOOJI SPEAKS ABOUT FALSE GURUS

After some days of silence and isolation it was once more time to visit my guru, Gandhooji. It’s hot in Bangalore just now and during the night a thunderstorm boomed across the city, its rain bringing welcome relief from the oppressive heat. Early morning and the roads were wet and steaming as I sped out of town in a rickshaw. After the inevitable haggling session with the pan-chewing rickshaw driver, I entered the master’s ramshackle house, where satsang was just beginning. It looked to me like it was to be a question and answer session.
The first question came from an old bespectacled man, whom I’d seen before at previous satsangs. He spoke in Kannad, which is the local language. A young man with a pencil moustache acted as translator.
The old man cleared his throat before he said, ‘Master, how can one identify a false guru?’
Gandhooji, who was sitting on his usual battered arm chair, surrrounded by a mixture of about two dozen Indian and western seekers seated on the cement floor, nodded before lighting a cigarrette. He took a few long drags that managed to produce a coughing fit, which sounded as if his lungs were being ripped apart. The coughs slowly diminished and, when they ceased, the master bent forward and took a few sips of tea from a cracked porceline cup that was set on the dirty floor in front of him. He finished his cigarrette, coughed twice and then said. ‘One need not be overly concerned about whether or not a guru is false, because ultimately all external gurus are, in a mysterious way, false. The whole point of a guru is for him or her to tell you that the real guru is your own self within. It is that self, out of grace, which takes form and manifests outside to tell you ‘I am within you’. It is that same grace that drives one inward, while all the time also dragging one towards the centre.’
The old man sitting at the master’s feet was shaking his head impatiently. Ghandooji lit another cigareette. The old man sat up straight on his cushion, pushed the white Gandhi cap on his head to one side, tugged one of his hairy earlobes and said. ‘With all due respect, Maharaj, that’s not the first time I’ve heard what you just said, and I understand the meaning your words of eternal wisdom convey.’ The man paused, raised his hands in a namaste, bowed his head in reverance and then continued. ‘The false gurus I am referring to are those charlatans and imposters, popping up on every street corner of Mother India, claiming to be enlightened, when in fact they are just scoundrels out to misguide gullible people for one selfish reason or another.’
Ghandooji nodded sagely saying, ‘What I said still stands in relation to these people you wish to denounce. For the most part these people are harmless enough and unless one is very stupid it is only a matter of time until their deception is unveiled and seen for what it is. Some of these ‘false gurus’, as you describe them, are preachers. It is important to understand the difference between a preacher and a teacher. Preachers are often good with words, whereas it can happen that a real teacher is illiterate. But that does not matter, for a lit candle does not need to use words in order to share its flame with another. Then again, a real teacher may be a doctor, artist or even a smelly rickshaw driver who farts all day long. (subdued laughter from the congregation in the room) Real teachers are exceedingly rare today. Preachers are common. A real teacher will merely inform you of the fact that you are no different from him or her. That you are that which is sought. This is the ultimate teaching. All else is preaching.’
The old man, sitting at the master’s feet, was once more shaking his head. Gandhooji raised his chin in an invitation for him to voice his agitation.
‘Yes, yes, ‘ said the man, ‘that’s all very well, but what about all those unenlightened rich gurus and the wealth they gather from spinning their web of deceit and ensnaring innocent victims? You surely understand what I mean.’
Gandhooji raised his grey eyebrows and smiled enigmatically. ‘Mmm…victims you say? In such a play there is only one real victim and that is the deceiver. To pretend that one is enlightened and have to live up to the expectations that go with such a role requires a certain stamina. If one keeps up the charade over an extended period of time the strain of doing so can lead, in certain extreme cases, to a premature death. If anything, one should feel compassion for someone playing such a role, for it is only out of people’s ignorance that the need for someone to play such a role is created.’
The old man was now nodding in agreement. He looked up at Gandhooji and said, ‘I never looked at it like that before. I suppose you could say that these false gurus are performing a socio-religious service.’
The master looked at the man for a moment then threw an empty cigarette packet into his lap. ‘I don’t know about socio-religious service but I do know that I am out of cigarettes Perhaps you’d be so kind as to perform some Ganhooji sevice and walk down to the end of the street to the beedie wallah and purchase me a fresh packet.’ ( a few giggles in the background)
The old fellow nodded, took of his glasses, stood and headed for the door.
Ganhooji called after him. ‘Take an umbrella.’ Kaboom! Just as he said that there was an extremely loud boom of thunder, and a crack of lightning so close it shook the building. The old guy froze on the spot. Gandhooji asked him a question, which he called out in a loud voice to compete with the sudden downpour of rain taking place outside of the open windows. ‘And remember, if you meet one of those false gurus on the street corner that you’ve been so concerned about what do you do?’
The old man turned to face the master and said, ‘Maharaj, I will feel compassion for them.’
Gandhooji chuckled and then declared, ‘Very good, that is the correct answer.’ He then produced a fresh packet of Gold Flake cigarettes out of nowhere and beckoned for the old bloke to return to the red cushion at his feet saying, ‘Come back here, Muckerji, you stuborn old goat. You’ll catch pneumonia if you go out in that downpour.’ The master scanned the room for a moment and then asked, ‘Any more questions?’ He was greeted with silence. He rubbed his nose, lit a cigarette, then pointed and looked up at the mildew-stained ceiling. Two seconds later there was the loudest crash of lightning I’ve heard in my entire life. At the back of the room a couple of old Indian ladies in sarees screamed in fright. Gandhooji gave a vigourous shake of his shaved head and then called out, ‘Anyone care to join me for a game of Monopoly in the kitchen?’ Everyone, including my humble self, raised their hand. The master chuckled and declared, ‘I’m only joking.’
This has been Swami Lokesh reporting to you live from Gandhooji’s ashram in Bangalore.

This entry was posted in Satire. Bookmark the permalink.

184 Responses to Lokesh with the latest from Bangalore

  1. Parmartha says:

    I was in a sort of no holds barred “group” in North Wales led by Rajen (no 3 therapist it was said at the time in the ashram) in 1978. It was an evocative setting, high and deep in the Welsh mountains, and someone had paid for me, so I thought I was part of God’s pure bounty.
    Sometime through the group there was a sort of impromtu session, or so it seemed, where Rajen and others talked about Bhagwan (Osho). I was very surprised at that time to hear him say the time honoured words “Well, even if Osho was not fully authentic, and not fully enlightened, what an amazing ride we were all on, given we were the sons and daughters of bank clerks, teachers, and military personnel, to go outside our pasts, and be on a great spiritual adventure. And more importantly it DID NOT MATTER whether the master was authentic or not. He even went on to say that maybe even more could be learned from an inauthentic master. Looks like Gandhooji and Rajen have something in common!

  2. Kavita says:

    Lokesh I really wonder how that battered arm chair & cracked porceline cup still intact , since your last visit to him , anyway glad you back .

  3. mandiro says:

    Lokesh:Thanks for sharing,I like that he is so irreverent and down to earth.I want to visit him.Reminds me of Osho.

  4. mandiro says:

    Lokesh : Can you post Gandhooji’s address in Bangalore,I could not find anything on the web.Thanks

  5. sannyasnews says:

    Brief Editorial:
    This post is being misinterpreted by some. It is a “satire”, not of any particular “master” but if anyone, someone in the advaita line.
    All future comments on any string need to be “on topic”. The more “universal” the comments are the better. This site is not about any particular present teacher or anything like that, and the Editorial Board will now pursue what in fact has always been their policy, but due to day jobs, it has not always been possible to hold the line.
    As for any teachers other than Osho himself we do feel they should use their own websites for forums, discussions of their work or if they so wish Facebook, etc. SN is not intended to play this function.

  6. shantam prem says:

    Very Good sannyasnews..
    Osho and his people on the path..
    In this context I remember the other day, I was watching a tv report about pregnant teeny girls. One girl who is 14 and expecting a child in the coming months, was told by her mother to find her accommodation in that social institution where other tenny mothers are with their children. One of the reason was that mother does not want to feel jealous with the daughter.
    In a way, it was always so, once you get married and have children, create your own four walls.

    • Lokesh says:

      Shantam, you sound like someone who never got married and fathered a few kids and feel the need to justify that by creating your own four walls. You should know, taking into consideration your background, that Guru Nanak was an enlightened family man. I know for sure that bringing up children can be an expressway to learning the art of surrender. When I look at beautiful innocent children it enforces my faith that life has not given up on us as a species.

  7. Parmartha says:

    (You seem to watch a lot of television there in Germany Shantam. Is that good for you? )
    The main point here which still seems to be missed is not whether the guru is authentic or not, but that the behaviour of choosing to have a guru, of whatever sort, has to be on the line. The argument goes, (even if I would not concur totally), is that the act of “having a guru” is disempowering whatever way you look at it. This matter is not about gurus as such, but the psychology of the disciples. Such an argument needs to be fully tested.

    • dominic says:

      Yes Parmartha. The age of the guru is dead not to mention the carrot and stick of enlightenment. Saying words like master, avatar, teacher makes me feel ill now.
      The inherent built-in structural dynamic is disempowering and usually regressive, which is why the pull is so strong. We want to be taken care of.
      One part of the devotee is going “what you say is absolute rubbish” and the other “and I agree with all of it.”
      This is of course a totally unbiased opinion.
      (Lord Gagaji from Mad-rAss is of course an exception)

  8. dominic says:

    More spiritual porn… Fifty shades of sadsang.
    First off, all gurus are false gurus, some are more false than others. The setup is authoritarian, just the dynamic that humanity lives under 99.99 % of the time.
    Question and answer sessions are BS, intellectual bypass. E.g “Master, how can one identify a false guru?’ Statement : “I’m afraid I’m going to be manipulated controlled abused, (like I was in the past) and don’t trust myself. Help me, Help me daddy !!”

    The smoking coughing of the maharaj should be a red flag for a start. Gan’tdhooji is masking his stuff with a smoking addiction, not loving to himself or others, and needs help. Nisargadatta famously smoked himself to death and knowingly peddled it to others in his tobacco shops, all rationalized away under non-dual BS.
    It’s really a life of brian scenario. “Everybody you don’t need a guru, piss off”. ” Master how do we do that ?”

    ‘That you are that which is sought’… Yada yada.. Like some Papacheese with that? He later described all his enlightened protegees as leeches he was trying to get rid of. Clearly most/all of these teachers have issues, but are walled off, and have removed themselves out of normal feedback loops or work on themselves, by their isolated, superior and I’ve arrived position. Welcome to the world of extreme spiritual bypass olympics.

    ‘Maharaj, I will feel compassion for them’
    ‘Very good, that is the correct answer’. Enforced compassion over-riding what you really feel ( “I’ll kick him in the goolies”) is more spiritual bypass. The trap of listening to some smug Ass telling you what to feel, think or be. The game of Mono (the one) powerplay vs Poly (the many).

    This has been Wayne King on behalf of his CanGuru the venerable Argo Vuqusaif. His blessings.
    Now Bliss off.

    • Lokesh says:

      That was amusing, Dominic. I must be honest and admit that my normal response to most wanna be gurus is…What a fookin wanka! I am trying to follow Gandhooji’s path of compassion but keep winding up in the pub saying, pass me that bottle and I’ll sing you all a real song. Perhaps I am seriously considering taking up chain-smoking, because Gandhooji says it is good for breath awareness.

      • dominic says:

        You’re still looking then? It’s ok we all do it. I’m leaning more towards the silent teaching of Beyondsay and my stuffed teddybear than Ivanka Lott.
        Of breath awareness, the venerable Sam-bodhi-sat-va Harting (not to mention Vaartman) used to knock us out in one sitting with that, perhaps it was the egg and broccoli flan that did it.
        Yes the power of positive drinking and the Beer Now vow! That’s a Ramana Coke for me. The path of choice at the Heymaniversity.
        You of course get the gooroo you deserve, a goofy sufi or one of those Dracools of transylvaita.
        We of course all need protection from ourselves and should really call social services.

        These days we are so spoilt for choice for cheaters..i mean teachers….There’s Noah Lott, Mo Lestor, Jacklyn Hyde, Dodi Lee Bonkas, Avant Aklew, Neil Anblomee, Anita Hanjaab, Arfur Foulkesaycke, Bill Loney, Anita Freend, Constance Noring, Gus Bagg, Ophelia Payne, Heidi Clare, U R Yafada, I M Boring, P Brayne, Pat Hiscock, Jenny Tull, Priti Manek, Rhoda Booke, Robin D Voteez, Ryan Carnation, Seymour Teachus, Andy Tover, Bjorn Dajoak, Ona Tripp ….the list is endless.

        “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”
        Lord Gagaji

        • Lokesh says:

          I am not aquainted with Jenny Tull but I am familiar with her brother, Jethro. He wrote a few good songs. How does that one go? Youknow…Once I used to join in
          Every boy and girl was my friend.
          Now there’s revolution, but they don’t know

          Well I can remember Osho saying……..
          What they’re fighting.
          Let us close out eyes;
          Outside their lives go on much faster.
          Oh, we won’t give in,
          We’ll keep living in the past.

          • Lokesh says:

            Of course he was only kinding when he talked about living in the past…clever that… changing the present for the past.

            • dominic says:

              He served up a lot of pasta and futura and verily it was good (kinda).
              Now it’s all tense in the present tense and we are back to self-helpless.
              Alone again…naturally.

              Dear Gandhooji, with all due respect you are a complete idiot to be role modelling coffin nails or whatever it is you’re smoking.
              Justin Hale
              On behalf of Lord Gagaji.
              Let holy war of the I’ve-been-Ji-had begin!

          • dominic says:

            Or Tess Teckle?
            Nurse I’m ready for my sponge bath now and Van…
            No Guru No method No teacher..
            Enlightenment don’t know what that is..
            Let go into the misery… Oops typo..

            Aah nostalgia,… ain’t what it used to be.

  9. shantam prem says:

    Looks like Lokesh does not like successful masters with big bang following..
    So time and again he finds new comers or create his own; like this Gandoo Maharaj!

    • Lokesh says:

      Well, Shantam, if you want to familirize yourself with the creator better get creative, man.

      • bodhi vartan says:

        Until I found the meaning of the word Gandoo (doesn’t it mean something like swamiji butthole?) I never paid much attention. Lo-Ki went well up in my estimation. Here we have a guru than can be even more insulting than old osh.

        Yeah shantam go and do something creative. Why not go to Ibiza for a week this summer but don’t check-out Lo-Ki yet. You are not ready.

  10. shantam prem says:

    In west one hears quite often, ” Age of masters is over. We have to be our own master.” Does it mean for centuries there was master-disciple tradition in all the European countries? Does it mean generation after generation people were following some Master?

    I think it will be more honest to accept that Master-Disciple is an imported concept, almost like boxes of mangos in the Asian stores!

    • Arpana says:

      Ahh. Mangoes.
      Thanks for the reminder.
      I’ll get a few when I’m out.

    • dominic says:

      Where the man-goes e-goes. Master-slave very popular, all traditions all countries, all times.

    • dominic says:

      Yes help for the Omless. Or best quality export for many Lakhs, white lady meat, throne (western toilet) and punters who actually want to meditate instead of ritual and blessing for good luck, better job, baby boy, pat on head and other voodoo.
      ~ The Big Bangalore Theory

      • Kavita says:

        & thanx to the big bang theory a lot of children could not get a chance to experience theory , paradox of life I suppose .

        domy , do i know you from your last incarnation ?

          • bodhi vartan says:

            In a land where people are looking for answers anyone can stand up and provided some … truth or lies becomes irrelevant. People would rather live with lies than uncertainty and the game will go at infinitum.

            What becomes relevant is that somehow we have placed here and something or somebody has made sure that … Adam did not eat from the tree of knowledge. We have been lied to once again.

  11. Kavita says:

    Shantam the concept of meditation is definitely an Eastern one , I have been a student of anthropology ( 24 years back ) and seen that there is mention of rituals & prayers but not of any meditation & master – disciple relationship.

  12. sannyasnews says:

    For those seekers who find the Bedi Wallah too much there is a nicely appointed Osho centre in Bangalore.
    See:
    http://oshovision.org/osho-center.html

  13. shantam prem says:

    Here is Osho vision from the website of Osho Vision Banglore-
    The new man will live not through ideologies, not through moralities, but through consciousness. The new man will live through awareness. The new man will be responsible — responsible to himself and to existence. The new man will not be moral in the old sense; he will be amoral. The new man is open and honest. He is transparently real, authentic and self-disclosing. He will not be a hypocrite. He will not live through goals: he will live here now.

    At least, someone remembers the buried concepts!

  14. shantam prem says:

    If I ask Jayesh, “Why don´t you let go?”
    He can reply, ” How can I? I live here now.”

    Let go is basically for the others!

  15. shantam prem says:

    I don´t like crowds.
    In a jungle full with tigers and lions and mighty elephants, poor Shantam has to bark like a dog…So cannot let go that easily.

    In a city full with non political Brahmins someone has to stand for the politics….so cannot let go that easily..

    When I see the heavy weight on the chest of the white Osho disciples…so cannot let go my brownness that easily…

  16. Parmartha says:

    The Master/disciple paradigm was basically a very old one and should in my view have stayed back with those old Zen Masters from history.
    Osho revived the paradigm, as did others in the seventies. I dont remember the word “master” being used when I was growing up except at Sunday school to define Jesus.
    It is a moot point whether it should have been revived, as it clearly led to quite a number of us suspending our intuitions about “what was going on” and maybe worse, suppressing any form of criticism. Surrender does seem to me to be a fool’s game but only perhaps because I have been through it. Had Osho stayed an Acharya things may have worked out much better for his legacy and movement.
    As for having a “wise man or woman” in one’s life when young to whom one might go in times of distress, well I think my generation quietly did that and it was a good custom.
    At a certain point on the road it is good to even live with such a person, and maybe in his or her Buddhafield. But it should be a casual affair, and nothing expected on either side. The teacher has a very important duty to remind those who wish to be his or her disciples that there will always be a time to establish one’s own independence and become one’s own inner wise person, free even of the teacher. These things are always a matter of “timing” and as they say in the acting profession “timing is all”. People who consider themselves Masters or Teachers need to know this art exactly, and also need to be free of any need on their own part to have disciples who never leave them.

    • Lokesh says:

      Masters or Teachers need to know this art exactly, and also need to be free of any need on their own part to have disciples who never leave them…..especially after they are dead.

    • dominic says:

      In the dream factory we get the guru we deserve.
      My teacher Argo Vuqusaif who was an insultant rather than a consultant, would simply raise his middle finger, as a direct pointer, when his sheeple refused to outgrow their babypants.

    • bodhi vartan says:

      Parmartha says:
      >> Had Osho stayed an Acharya things may have worked out much better for his legacy and movement.

      Interesting post mister P. The assumption that both you and Lokesh are making is that those who leave the master are somehow more progressed than those who might choose not to leave. Maybe the lessons never finished …

      Why are so many stuck in the Pune1 period? (It reminds me of Sheela’s Pune1 pictures all over her sanatorium … ) Lokesh’s outpouring refers to the Master stage and how to be transcended …

      Why are so many resisting the Friend stage? The Friend is like an ex-lover, who is now a very close friend, with whom you do everything together apart from having sex (he is dead! remember?). The Friend is a special relationship … you can go for advice (or whatever) if you wish but nothing will happen if you don’t. The Pune2 material is so explosive, but at this point (and for a while now) I’d rather be walking the walk than talking the talk.

    • dharmen says:

      I always thought the word master in the context of master /disciple to be a very unfortunate choice of wording. A master, as far as I remember what Osho said, only referred to one who had mastered something and in the spiritual context, one who had mastered himself. I never understood it to mean master of others and I don’t think Osho ever referred to it in that sense. Master, disciple, surrender, none are words that are easily embraced by westerners, for westerners, these words are loaded with connotations of slavery, obedience and weakness. Surender in the spiritual sense has nothing to do with doing as you are told, it is not about obedience, although anyone that went through the commune experience could be forgiven for thinking that it was. The commune needed a lot of yea saying, just to get things done, and boy was ‘surrender’ exploited by those who were charged with getting things done. If you read or listen to Osho’s words on surrender and master disciple relationship they have very little resemblance or significance to what happened in the communes. He was talking about something completely different and he was not talking worldly affairs.

      • satyadeva says:

        That’s an excellent point, one that rarely seems to be made – and needs remembering.

        Unfortunately, ‘Master’ also can bring to mind ‘schoolmaster’, with its authoritarian connotations.

        Yet isn’t it also true that a Master doesn’t exactly run a ‘democracy’, he’s numero uno of a hierarchy of – ideally – one?

      • bodhi vartan says:

        I don’t particularly agree dharmen, tho you are right. During his life much was said about surrendering to the commune …

        “Sangham sharanam gachchhami: I go to the feet of the commune, I surrender myself to the buddhafield.”

        Somehow I don’t see us making those particular mistakes again but not to accept that they were mistakes is wrong.

      • dominic says:

        The Master. It’s a fantasy (and a terrible film), selling ideology and unreachable ideals, a perfected state that is never reached by anyone. Even moreso because the status, grandiosity, and inflation, that goes with the role generates disconnection from others and themselves, lost in their own mythology. Look at them all … Maharishi, Maharaji, krishnamurti, Trungpa, Adi Da, Nisargadatta, Ramana, Papaji, Sai Baba, Osho, Muktananda, Ramesh, Amma, Andrew Cohen, Eli & Gangaji, Sasaki…to name a few. All perfectly imperfect in my eyes. Who ever ‘masters’ themselves?
        The low down on what goes on behind the podium and theatricality of it all is now widely available, because of the internet.
        Talk and philosophy is cheap. Behaviour and actions speak louder than words.
        Would you wear a mala and orange robes again and believe in half of the bollocks you once did ?
        I think not.

        • satyadeva says:

          Yes, perhaps, Dominic, but ‘perfect consciousness’ doesn’t imply so-called ‘perfection’ in every aspect of a person’s life. We’re often told these people are ‘just ordinary’, then are surprised or disillusioned to find that in some respect(s) that’s exactly what they are, ie ‘flawed’, apparently.

          But I doubt somehow that many of that list of yours – post-’awakening’, but of course – spend (or spent) much time being ‘normally’ (as it were) emotionally disturbed, up one day/down the next, in inner conflict, uptight, beset by moods, fearful, or just plain ‘unhappy’.

          Why? It seems because they became ‘masters’ of their own minds (and emotions), able to choose to live from a far more profound inner level beyond the robotic, reactive thinking and emotional processes and so be free of them. I mean, what else is there to be free of?

          By the way, lumping these people together could be misleading as I suspect they tend to be on various levels of so-called ‘realisation’. For example, I wouldn’t put Maharishi, Maharaji and Trungpa on the same level as a few of the others (eg Krishnamurti, Osho, Nisargadatta, Ramana). (Not that I ‘know’ anything, it’s just my intuitive feeling).

          I think it’s good not to ‘worship’ such people and to see their ‘ordinariness’, but I wouldn’t throw out the baby with the bathwater, as it were, as if we have nothing to learn from them, as if we already ‘know it all’…But perhaps that’s not your intention?

          • dominic says:

            “We’re told…I doubt…it seems…I suspect”
            Sounds like wishful thinking SD. Dream away. Supposition M’lord.
            It should be clear by now that guru/teachers can have spiritual depth ,and still be totally unconscious or running patterns and have ‘issues’ in other areas.
            It becomes more than a question of being ‘ordinary’ in this context, but of spiritual and emotional abuse towards their devotees.
            The natural response to a lack of integrity for example would be outrage, investigation or disengagement.
            The doublethink and denial that is often used not to disturb the status quo, just keeps the guru and devotee mired in self-delusion and collusion.
            “Ooh my guru’s lying/ molesting/ exploiting/ dissociated, wow how ordinary is that” or
            “Ooh it’s a device, what a clever Master”
            So the word ‘Master’ loses all meaning in this context. That’s my point, they are not free of their stuff. Just protected and reinforced by their disciples rationalizing.
            Of course each case is unique and there’s much to be grateful for and inspired by.
            But also to say, like the little boy, that the emperor is naked.
            We could go into a few case studies, especially of the more ‘saintly’ poster gurus I guess you’re referring to, but I can’t be assed right now.
            I would say it’s healthy to see their darkness, as well as their light.
            Nor is there ever any knowing it all for anyone. But your truth should be yours, not borrowed and secondhand.

        • bodhi vartan says:

          dominic says:
          >> Talk and philosophy is cheap. Behaviour and actions speak louder than words.
          Would you wear a mala and orange robes again and believe in half of the bollocks you once did ?
          I think not.

          I think yes. To start with it had nothing to do with belief and it wasn’t bollocks either. It was a bit of fun, it was a joke, kindergarden psychology mixed with a lot of partying. It must have been you who was looking for perfection and alternate deep meanings.

          Ideals like perfection and utopia are good to aim for, but you will look ridiculous if you feel you have achieved them. Osho often said that it was hardest for the ones closest to him because it was impossible for them to idealise, after seeing all his imperfections.

          • dominic says:

            It was a lot of fun and still is sometimes!
            No disappointment, not at all. Gratitude. Shame that poona 3 went down the tubes so fast and has become unattractive to most crumblies.
            Times change and you get older, more enrealment than enlightenment perhaps.
            Think you’re selling it short, “bit of fun & kindergarden psychology” and partying.
            Who here would want to wear a mala again and white/red robes etc unless you had too?
            Not I, said the fly. Cast your votes.

            “Osho often said that it was hardest for the ones closest to him because it was impossible for them to idealise, after seeing all his imperfections”
            Sounds like you’re doing the Osho bible studies and letting his shadow side off the hook with rationalizing, still subtly believing in a perfect imperfection and Master status.
            But it’s easy to misread & misunderstand eachother in this text based format.
            It’s all good (or all bad, depending). :roll:

            • bodhi vartan says:

              dominic says:
              >> Sounds like you’re doing the Osho bible studies and letting his shadow side off the hook with rationalizing, still subtly believing in a perfect imperfection and Master status.

              Ok he was awful in bed (if that helps) which reminds of the miner’s joke. A miner after a hard week’s graft goes to the whorehouse with his wage packet drops his trousers at the door, presenting his two-inch dick. “Ok, who’s up for it?” he shouts. “And who are you going to please with that?” screams back one of the whores. To which he replies, “Me!”

              It’s all a matter of viewpoints.

              • dominic says:

                Exactly my small pimple sized point. Narcissism. Still at least he was paying.
                But with chandra mohan….
                The clothes, the jewellery, the cars, the 3 hour lecture snoozefests, the godlike status, the slavish fawning oshobots…
                How do you know he was awful in bed, what are you not telling us? :wink:
                He was certainly a lot more fun than all the other eedjits on offer.

                • bodhi vartan says:

                  Would a man who is good in bed pick a manic depressive as a girlfriend? But I suppose you wouldn’t know the answer to that question … and that is what I am not telling you.

  17. shantam prem says:

    Dew drop leaves when the sun shines
    It is, disappearing gracefully..
    But when the dew drop is mopped by the sweeper,
    It is Massacre!

  18. bodhi vartan says:

    Good to see you back Lo-Key. What happened to swami rajneesh? I’ve been away for a few days and he probably took the opportunity to shave his beard and sneak into the UK for a quick knees-up.

    When I see your writing, what I see is someone creating …

    What the therapy and meditations are meant to do is release the barriers that hold back Creativity. The only time one needs to meditate and all that other stuff is when creativity is blocked. Creativity at any level is living with the gods.

    And we are all gods, pretending not to be. I can talk that shit too. But creating, without someone to look at it? What does than mean? … And that is why you are here master lo-key, for us to look at your stuff. If I was born in Scotland, I would want to live on a Mediterranean island. But I was born on Medi-isle and I choose to live in London because when you are tired of London you are tired of life. But you wouldn’t know about that while sitting there admiring your sunset. (And I am not talking about the sun in the sky.)

    • Lokesh says:

      Ibiza is buzzing right now and I’m off to do a pre Pasha Flower Power gig. DJ Lokesh rides again. Looking back it seems a long time ago when we built the first sannyasin disco in Koregoan Park and got a nod and a ‘very good’ from the old man. What was always good about the sannyasins is that they always danced at the drop of a hat. These days people are more demanding.

      • bodhi vartan says:

        So, you write, you paint, you do DJ-ing … is there any end to you? I don’t think you need any therapy …

        I am very close to the driver of a top (probably the top) DJ in the uk so I know about the still ongoing (you bloody dinosaurs) rave scene all over europe, etc. I think they have two gigs coming up in your yard.

        This is what we dance to up here in The Smoke:

        Daft Punk – Get Lucky

        The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.

  19. bodhi vartan says:

    Lokesh, I saw Swami Arun over the weekend and I am sorry to say that your friend is wrong. He neither claims enlightenment or behaves in any particular way I would term fake. He is doing what he always did which is to spread Osho as far and wide as he can. He is currently publishing and selling dozens of Osho books at cost price because Osho told him to do it that way. Apparently Osho always wanted his books to be sold as cheaply as possible and even to be given away.

    Another thing he said that I did not know … about early sannyas … when Osho decided to put his picture around people’s neck … how brave he was … knowing he was going to get the blame for whatever these twats (sorry, enlightened beings, future buddhas) will end up doing (for centuries to come).

    And never forget to laugh. Zen was born in laughter. It’s just a joke, it always was, and we are ridiculous. But we make sense to some people. Weird or what? Can you figure it out? Why bother. It just is.

  20. shantam prem says:

    Had Osho stayed an Acharya things may have worked out much better for his legacy and movement…

    I wonder why even mature and meditators live in denial.
    Whether Osho as Bhagwan Shree or Osho as Acharya or simply Shri Rajneesh Jain; one day he was suppose to die…
    If Osho´s movement has gone tatters it is because of the OVER SMART DISCIPLES.
    For Bhagwan, faithful ones can blame rightly or wrongly America but for OSHO…there is no black Peter some where else.

    • Parmartha says:

      Shantam,
      yes the disciples were responsible. But it takes two to tango. Osho did switch off during the Ranch period, and became interested and preoccupied, possibly on a daily basis, in his own nitrous experiments, and just let Sheela and co. get on with it.
      We were all responsible for what was a giant mess, but that includes the old man.

      • Arpana says:

        What are the parameters against which you judge the ranch to have been a mess?
        Might be really useful to be clear about that one, because we don’t, I suggest, share a common set of parameters against which we evaluate what happened.

        • bodhi vartan says:

          I would say that the Ranch was a mess because afterwards, during the Pune2 period, Osho changed his tune. The biggest issue with the Ranch was the size. He thought that the more people he could pack in, the more people could get to see him, but it didn’t work that way. That’s why the drive-bys.

          The corruption also arose out of the size issue. I wouldn’t like to state a number but I’d say that future communes should number in the hundreds rather than thousands. We still don’t have a model. All we see are cultural manifestations than cannot be applied globally.

          In a way what the Ranch said is, “not this way”. Well it is good to know. At the end of the day, if sannyasins want to live together, whether next year, or in a hundred years time, then they will have to experiment again, but not “that way”. And not in America.

          • Arpana says:

            Vody Bartan said.

            ‘during the Pune2 period, Osho changed his tune. ‘

            Can you explain. Don’t know what you mean by that.?

            • bodhi vartan says:

              Pune1 was ‘a calling’, the Ranch was ‘the experiment’, and Pune2 was ‘a re-direction’ (based on the experiment).

              • frank says:

                remakes don’t usually top the original movie.
                like the matrix,
                once Neo failed to save the world the first time
                ……well……
                it was bound to degenerate into endless fight scenes.

                pune reloaded was dodgy,
                but pune3 really nosedived and failed to get bums on seats at all….!

                • bodhi vartan says:

                  frank says:
                  >> remakes don’t usually top the original movie.

                  There was no original-original movie. Pune2 has the script for an original movie. The Ranch was what you lot (“the called”) did after he hopefully cleaned you up and put you to work.

                  What this reminds me are comments I heard about Freud and his depressing psychology and we mustn’t forget that Freud was dealing with the damaged and depressed people of his era.

                  You can more or less say the same about Osho and the early people he had to deal with and their neuroses-es.

                  The Pune2 material is not directed at saving the world. That was (somehow) what you hippie guys were trying to do with the Ranch. The Pune2 material is directed at ‘saving’ (now that’s a weird word) the individual.

              • Parmartha says:

                Osho started to call his disciples “friends” as soon as Sheela left the Ranch. It seemed an odd designation to me, and must have affronted the devotees.
                But I figure that is what Vartan means as a distinguishing feature of Poona2.
                One thing about the Ranch I want to laud, that is any work was always done by the sannyasins themselves. That seemed and seems perfectly correct, and the baseline for any successful commune.
                In Poona one and Poona two, much to much work around the ashram, etc was done by Indians employed at very low comparative wages in keeping with the always indelible unconscious backcloth of the caste system – which is still there at the Resort today.

                • bodhi vartan says:

                  Parmartha says:
                  >> Osho started to call his disciples “friends” as soon as Sheela left the Ranch. It seemed an odd designation to me,

                  He suddenly realised that he was stuck with us and he thought that he better get friendly … hahahaha

                  I’d love to know what he really saw in Sheela …

                • Kavita says:

                  one day few years ago , at the back gate there were two locals having a physical fight , I was passing by , I heard the ashram driver,saying aloud ” you guys should do dynamic meditation” .

        • Arpana says:

          Where I think he went wrong is that he started sannyas to soon, thus allowing Amrito to get established and evilly prevent Shantam and Osho Rajneesh from running things, so we cant have the paradise on earth that we would have had if Amrito wasn’t such an evil bastard, blocking the way of these supreme intelligences from making everything fab

        • Lokesh says:

          The ranch was a mess right from the start. The lotus did not grow out of the mud in Muddy Water Ranch but the poison ivy grew like wild fire.
          How to establish a huge commune on land zoned for a couple of dozen inhaitants? And that was the muddy ground on which the foundations were laid. Next the orange people are getting tooled up with sub-machine guns. Whatever happened to love and peace? Then it was only a little jump to arson and poisoning the locals in the hope of swaying local elections. Meanwhile Osho is in silence spending sometimes hours on the phone ordering the latest bells and whistles for his Rolls Royce collection , and watching naff movies like The Ten Commandments and Paton over and over again, while inhaling the Jumping Jack Flash on his custom-built dental chair. The list of absurdities is endless.
          Decades later we have Arps asking, ‘What are the parameters against which you judge the ranch to have been a mess?’
          To me this sounds absurd.

          • frank says:

            lokesh,that’s probably true.
            but what about poona 1?
            a load of whackjobs dressed up as hindu holymen and women,minus the holy chuddies,shagging themselves senseless,delivering false-bottom suitcases,dodging tax,doing some very dodgy”therapy”,some “gurdjieffian odd-jobs”,shaking their booty etc…all with the stated aim of getting out of their minds all the time and forever…
            how long could that last before either the feds arrived or it got toned down?

            osho was unorthodox.
            an iconoclast.
            which means a breaker of religious constructions (icons) literal and figurative .
            a joker.
            jokers can never “succeed” for very long.
            why?
            because if they succeed they become orthodox and an iconic construct themselves.
            then some other joker has to come and knock down their temple and dogma,too.

            its a play of opposites.

            who can stop it?

            • Lokesh says:

              Never envisaged myself as a whack job, but maybe I was. I was in Poona numero uno from beginning to end. It was quite a trip. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. The sexual libertys available were never such a big deal for me, which is not to say that I did not enjoy that aspect of ashram life. I always really dug the fact that there was always a song and dance going on. The kundalini shake was really groovy. The fact that there were a lot of attractive women on the dancefloor was a plus. I still enjoy that sort of thing even today in my dotage.

            • bodhi vartan says:

              frank says:
              >> osho was unorthodox.
              an iconoclast.
              which means a breaker of religious constructions (icons) literal and figurative .
              a joker.

              Prankster is a better word. Prankster wisdom has a long history. Nasrudin was part of that lineage.

          • Arpana says:

            Old fart. Pompous. Heat. Couldn’t stand.
            Failure. Rationalisation. 32 years ago.

        • Parmartha says:

          I mean:
          Never resolved the issue of having a “society” of those who mostly initially wanted to experiment and experience free zen outside the monasteries. The Ranch became a very conformist society from almost the first day that Osho went there.
          A friend of mine, known to Vartan, got thrown off the Ranch during the second festival for “walking around” off piste! But he was wearing a robe!
          What I call the mess started to occur as soon as Sheela authorised plainly criminal acts circa 1983 – then all of us living there were all at risk.

          • Arpana says:

            Parmartha said.

            ‘The Ranch became a very conformist society from almost the first day that Osho went there.’

            Wouldn’t that have been in people anyway. Part of their make-up, because of the situation, not despite.

            • Parmartha says:

              Some sannyasins, were not “attracted” to the Ranch. Those like myself who were felt it was the way to go at the time. Yes we were basically conformist, and that conformity needed to be recognised by ourselves, which one hopes the Ranch experience gave us.
              Those I knew personally who had already matured beyond conformity were sometimes blackballed by the then organisation. Paritosh (Sam) the author of the great book, “Life of Osho” was one such, and a number of other real outsiders who must have gone through the whole nature of conformity in another life, or earlier in this one!
              There was one Australian sannyasin with whom I was friends, who I remember saying goodbye to me at the end of Poona one – and yes Martyn we had played cricket together for the London Sannyasin cricket team in the seventies – saying to my surprise,
              “Ah this American thing MATE, just rubbish. I’m going off to be a real sannyasin on the by ways of India”. I never heard from him again, but never forgot him. Maybe somewhere he is waiting for me behind some bend or junction of the road.

              • Arpana says:

                @Parmartha.
                These remarks weren’t put downs by the way.
                An observation. I was very identified with being a rebel at one time, and felt pretty humiliated at times acknowledging my more conservative side. My conformist side.

                Meditation and sannyas turned me not so much into a rebel, as defiant. Lol

              • Arpana says:

                @Parmartha.

                All those people with monstrous boundary setting problems, either for themselves, or others, or both.
                (Sorry about the Jargon. )

                • frank says:

                  all those years of meditation and sannyas
                  trying to gateless gate-crash the voidless void…

                  where did I get?
                  now.here
                  what did I achieve?
                  nothing.

                  good for nothing.
                  story of my life.
                  my dad was right !

                • Arpana says:

                  But Frankie.
                  You are a voidless void.

                • bodhi vartan says:

                  frank says:
                  >> where did I get?
                  now.here
                  what did I achieve?
                  nothing.

                  There is no way of knowing where you would have got to if you chose a different path … but that is one of the purposes of communes in showing you where you are … instead of where you think you are. I am sure you have a lot to show, you just chose not to.

          • Arpana says:

            Inside every rebel there is a conformist waiting to get out.

  21. Fresch says:

    What if…

    Lokesh had participated in the meditations at osho center in Bangalore? What would have been the quality of your silence? The story with the other master is for sure better..but what if… and why not?

    What if the main osho center in the world (if that is not Poona, it could be an uta or any other center) instead of sucking all the energy and people in one place like poona (it’s not happening any way any more, that is gone) would function as support to all independent meditation places..it would be giving instead of taking..

    ”What if all the people…”

  22. Fresch says:

    It’s so fanny that they in Poona, from all the people in the world, are so stuck with the physical place, pune resort. Next big thing in Osho world can happen in Bangalore osho center or where ever. And is already happening, but could happen much faster. And change is always needed, so it looks like people in Poona are not transferring their practical commune running skills, but being stuck building emty buildings in Indian city, so it’s just going down in Poona and things are happening elsewhere. I have been sincerely surprised that new people are not really interested what is happening in Indian city Poona, but a lot is happening with new people – all somewhere else. So life takes care of it any way.

  23. Fresch says:

    And Lokesh, I do enjoy your stories.. I was also reflecting my self (surprise). I have been inside and outside of osho palce/meditations/people..When ever outside, my stories are better, but my silence is less, when more inside I have less stories and more silence. Both are ok, of course.

  24. shantam prem says:

    I hope Fresch has found out till now; that assxxxx Ganduji in Banglore is a fictional character made by novel writer Lokesh!

  25. Fresch says:

    Actually, it’s all happening according to osho’s words (I still do not know which ones are “true”..), but if OIF have insisted there is no Samadhi and no special place in Poona, museum etc. so that is happening..Then there is really nothing interesting in Poona, why bother to travel so far when there are a lot of other osho places more easily to reach than polluted Indian city..

    Moreover, generally, as we know, the one who gives feels always so abundance that he/she wants to give. Pune cannot afford to give, instead they try to suck with the copyright, it only means that at some day if the place is really going to survive at any level other centres have support it. If it survives at all..and my guess is that osho would not mind it, if his spirit gets born just anywhere where there is LIFE.

    A couple of years ago I actually had a polite conversation about this with Amrito. I heard him saying that it will be going down (at resort) because of other more popular osho festivals elsewhere and rising of the prices of airline tickets that they will get perhaps more Chinese and more Indians..it was strange to hear it from him.

    so it’s actually going at natural course..I admit I do share perhaps some extent same kind of romatic relationship to osho and sanyas sangha like Shantam..i work on seeing things more zen as they are..however..

  26. Fresch says:

    Even we take the stand that osho does not know everything and cannot predict everything, he actually went through the experience of Poona 1, Ranch, Poona 2 (beginning of Poona2) personally as his own personal experience of building of communes or religious movement.. He still knew a lot (if not everything) about born and dying of religions from books (at least from his studies and public talks if not past life experiences etc stuff). So I wonder if he had not known from that at least many events that would take place after his leaving.. I do not envy the people who are running Poona, regardless of whatever guidelines they got from osho, it must be the most difficult job. However “home is where the heart is..” and there really is no (or not enough) heart in pune. But, perhaps that they are also human is ok trying to do their best. So, what we, me should be doing to create something new elsewhere, understand the past, but focus on the future – with this sweet sangha perhaps.

  27. shantam prem says:

    Mastery words create miracles.
    Crows start behaving like Swans..

    In alchemy it is called, waking up from dreams!

  28. Fresch says:

    I mean osho’s sangha everywhere else; in all these more interesting places but not in an Indian polluted city..I do like nature, sun and sea..but it’s always about the people..

  29. Fresch says:

    After being at some level active with Poona for some time again after many years, I have been aware of perhaps looking for “my beautiful past in poona 2”, but now that I let go, it looks like I was searching for nostalgia, even I tried to do it in a different and new way. Nostalgia to be just let go. And actually now it feels really liberating. I have good sanyas friends where I am and everywhere in the world anyway, so now it’s more like what was I thinking…what was I dreaming. Was it even a good dream or a nightmare?
    .but it’s always about the people, and i do not know any other more loving and interesting people, but osho people..:)

    • Arpana says:

      In Poona 1 the idea was prevalent that this was heaven on earth and I found the idea that this was the only place on the planet were I could live well, be happy, fulfilled, completely negating of what I saw sannyas as about, although I was pretty screwed up about dependency in those days.

  30. Fresch says:

    Yes arpana, that happens when we are in love..:) love is good but makes us blind, perhaps good and bad..

  31. shantam prem says:

    To whom so ever it may concern in the mystical field-
    To have an erection does not mean one has become a daddy!

  32. dominic says:

    In the East guru addiction is promoted, in the west love addiction. When something is so pervasive it seems normal and healthy.
    Since the 60s most of the big name gurus and lesser ones have been shown to have some level of corruption, and mixtures of dark and light, just like us normal folks, unless you’re really in denial.
    People say but there are many who have integrity and are genuine. But the institution and dynamic itself seems inherently disempowering and regressive, for all its positives, such as instant community.
    Perhaps a necessary phase to be outgrown.

  33. shantam prem says:

    Fresch says:
    I mean osho’s sangha everywhere else; in all these more interesting places but not in an Indian polluted city..I do like nature, sun and sea..but it’s always about the people..

    Can you give two three names of such Buddha fields or it is like the bottled water having the brand name, ” River”.

  34. Fresch says:

    Well, I already said before, let’s make a sanyas news’s reader’s trip to Ibiza during some meditation festival in the summer. We could just have a dinner together or anything what so ever. Parmartha should take some kind of stand so it does not become advertising or something. I do not know if there even are meditation festivals, but i have a few friends who live there. After all there is sun and sea too and I need a holyday. My wish it should be loose gathering, nothing stressful to organize.. But it would be fun to see you.

    • Lokesh says:

      Ibiza is mainly known as the electronic dance capital of the world and quite rightly so. I went to the opening party at Space ten days back along with 20,000 other people, and it was an absolute blast. I spent most of my four hours time there centre front main stage with about 7000 party animals, 60,000 watts of undistorted sound, laser show…a religious experience. My legs were aching from so much non-stop dancing.
      On the other hand Ibiza is fast becoming the New Age capital of Europe. Everything from ayahusca rituals, sweat lodges, meditation retreats, individual therapists, mini-gurus, hobbits in the hills. Last month I attended a healing festival in a five star country resort. A few thousand folk showed up for the totally free event. The place was like a modern-day Shangra-la. Very good vibes. Loved it. 30 years a resident and I love the white island more than ever. It is a priviledge to live here. Probably one of the most enlightened social scenes on the planet. Want silence…close the gate and you won’t see a soul. Brilliant!

  35. shantam prem says:

    Nothing lasts for ever..
    Does it mean tennis start collecting the pills for the life after menopause?

    If you listen to the wise people, they will shake their head in affirmation!

    Something like this is one of the reasons behind the dwindling Sannyas Success story!

    • Lokesh says:

      According to Shri Shunyata nothing does indeed last forever.

      • dominic says:

        Shri Sunyata recommends Cheesus Crust where pizza is a religious experience.

        And Wing Wong Wei chinese restaurant.
        Extensive menu including
        Sakya Balls and Canton Tongue.

      • bodhi vartan says:

        What does he know? Matter (i.e. information) cannot be destroyed so theoretically it does last forever. In our current ‘observer assisted reality’ construct, the consciousness itself is part of the mechanism and thus also eternal.

        We like to view consciousness as a ‘human creation’ where in fact ‘something’ gave it to us. We might have to wait for Shantam to get back from Ibiza to tell us the rest of the story.

      • dominic says:

        Aah just what I always wanted….. Nothing!

  36. Fresch says:

    I remember Chetna saying she would like harideva organize osho festivals like in goa. Where is this gay? Or him alike to do it in Ibiza? It’s not about the palce but about people…

  37. Fresch says:

    Mega would be the man to do festival in ibiza..

    • Lokesh says:

      Mega? I kind of doubt it. Haridas does an annual sannyas festival over in Portugal. Usually a couple of hundred show up for the three day event, including a few oldtimers who are by all accounts the backbone of the happening.
      When I first came to Ibiza in 83 sannyasins had free entrance to the main dance clubs, because they were seen as dance motivators. Today they have pro-dancers who look like they just landed on a spaceship from planet Sex Bomb. What was once cutting edge is a bit of a dull blade in social terms and sannyasins have slowly gained some respect on the island as having been vanguards of what is now a global movement. Back in the day we were called Los Butanos because our orange clothes were the same colour as houshold butane gas bottles. My next wee essay may cover sannyasins’ contribution to the world on the creative level, which can today be compared to perhaps the creative explosion of the sixties although not quite as massive.

  38. Fresch says:

    So, when is SN reader’s trip to ibiza Parmartha? However, I was not thinking about some tranceparty with partyanimals:) we need to brainstorm this.. Lokesh, you are sweet..

  39. shantam prem says:

    I think I won´t trust even a day trip organised by any Sannyasin, what to say about trip to Ibiza.
    Too much promises, but no water in the train toilet!

    Sannyas means, adoption of all the bad habits from India!

    What to do? it is like this.
    Surely such roads leads to Nirvana…

    • dominic says:

      Smells like teen sannyas spirit…

      “Hello, hello, hello, how low
      With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
      Here we are now; entertain us
      I feel stupid and contagious
      Here we are now; entertain us”

    • bodhi vartan says:

      Shantam, don’t you see that by having a low opinion of sannyasins that automatically translates in you having a low opinion of yourself. I’ve come across fruitbats but I’ve also come across solid dependable ppl. You tend to get what you put out. If it doesn’t work, change it. Nobody is watching.

  40. Fresch says:

    Lokesh, now even the younger sanyasins (or young people who come to osho meditations) want to meditate plus have a good party..I would like to see a party and meditations festival organize by MANY sanyasins in NETWORK like you Lokesh with Mega, Haridas, Sanyas News, perhaps that uta gay, what is his name? Shantam can organize his single’s trip there too…so, let’s not be too serious! We can include everything. And also WITH no-sanyasins, just people who are on the path. An event with different nationalities, ages, happenings, meetings, many different ways to participate from meditation to parties or therapies…sun and sea. Life, fun, nature, meditation on European California. I would love to be part of that!

  41. Fresch says:

    And why not also include therapists, path of love, breathing etc..For an event (not a group) and musicians etc people and groups I cannot imagine now… So, it could as well happen in European California in a new way. Why not? I would just love it! Also i would love all new other suggestions..

  42. Fresch says:

    Let’s call it OIF: OSHO INTERNATIONAL FUN

  43. Fresch says:

    and make a copyright on it, of course, it’s a festival..

  44. shantam prem says:

    Let me suggest few points to the organisers of Ibiza Festival-

    *From now on wards, never say Ibiza but Osho Ibiza. Sannyasins love to add Osho with everything. It creates feeling of oneness and that everything in existence belongs to us. Sorry everything in Osho Existence belongs to us.
    * It will be better to mention also, ” Special arrangements for wheel chair bound sannyasins.” Demographically, more than 50% are in this category and they have enough of hard cash; surely not hard earned but inheritance from parents, grand parents, single aunts and uncles. God bless all these souls.
    * Don´t expect girl friends. Due to mismanagement at Osho head quarters, woman folks are going towards other South Indian gurus!

    • frank says:

      if brian kumare`s gang show up,we might need a few extra wheelchairs for the homeward bound too!

      and how about a bit of inter-guru cage fighting?
      I`d love to kick back with a big bottle of san miguel and watch the gloves come off as one of the red-bottomed bhagwan baboons go the distance with bollywood brian kumare.

      but seriously,shantam,i will offer you some completely free therapy…
      to work through your anti-British racist personality problems,my old punkahwallah,i offer you to wheel me around in my wheelchair and change my incontinence pants for the duration of the festival.
      dont worry,you wont have to pay for a thing.i will get my auntie HM the queen to pick up the tab.

      • dominic says:

        Osho international Fu(nf)eral.
        How about face-off readings.
        Chamber of Auras.
        Zengasms with fundalini shaking.
        Midlaugh Crysis meditation.
        New Age sewage and fruitcake stalls.
        Some neti neti, nuti nuti, chat chit ananda and advaita whispering with Shree Niceness.
        Bardo(or)s open 24/7.
        Burqua blind date at the multicultural kiosk.
        House bands –
        Holy Moly and the Crackers, Big Boodah and the Pantaloonies, Rumi and the Ruminators, the Satsang Profits, Dizzy & the Dysfunctionals, P Ness and the Penetrators (with their new cd ‘keep thrusting’ and single, ‘bigger, longer and uncut’).
        Spiritual Cinema club showing –
        ‘Advaitageddon – Zombie Apocalypse’ and
        ‘When I want your opinion I’ll give it to you’, a hommage to the master/disciple relationship.

        *Wholewheat organic kids come for free.
        *Premature emancipation and teacheritis mobile clinic available.
        Brought to you by Mclightenment for the menow generation.

    • Kavita says:

      one more suggestion : a ‘ live streaming ‘ of the event

  45. shantam prem says:

    Frank, how you have come on this idea that I am anti British?
    I was in my school days because of the text books propaganda, but not later on, when I started seeing the world with my own eyes.
    I write without any favour and malice, with as much depth and humour, as I could get because of Osho influence.
    If you go my page at facebook, just the other evening I have written-
    I feel if Indians have some sense of gratitude, they should celebrate one day in a year as “Thank you Britain day.”
    It is they who impregnated India, with her new secular religion.
    I mean Cricket!

  46. shantam prem says:

    Nothing lasts for ever…
    therefore wise man say..
    If you get the powerful posotion..
    stay stay stay till you can
    death can snatch everything away..
    nothing lasts for ever!

  47. shantam prem says:

    Lokesh,I can say for sure as eye witness, many from London were reborn in the Osho Internatioanl Meditative Orphange, Pune(India) 411001

Leave a Reply