Eckhart Tolle vs. Mooji
Aka Lil ET vs. MC Moo G Bubba
Moo G Bubba:
The name is Moojibaba, I`m the most realised rapper
I`m comin` straight from the source, straight from the Papa
I`ve gone beyond illusion and I`ve gone beyond the mind
I already dropped my ego now I`m gonna drop some rhymes:
I`m a funky freestyle fakir, I ain`t fooling and faking
I`m the most badass gangsta that ever got awakened,
disciples who run with me get their egos crushed and shaken.
Ecky, you stole your name from some old-skool Christian mystic,
like your cardigan and buttoned-up shirt, you’re a retro old-skool mis-fit.
You’re the Forrest Gump of spirit, you look like a half-wit,
you look like social services should pay you a visit
you`ve got the charisma of a very soggy biscuit,
I`m a vehicle for unconditional love, but man, there`s a limit.
I tell you, bro, yours is not a good look
and I can`t believe you hit the big-time by writing just one book.
Since I was in Brixton town, I always sang my own song
while you done nothing with your rap `cept rip off Barry Long.
I`m not sayin you`re wrong, you just look like a mong
Me, I`m high on my own supply, I`ve got the best-stacked bong,
I`m clearly the MC with the well-biggest dong.
You look like you never went on a date or had an all-night dance,
smoked some entho plants or had a wild romance,
Yo! you need to turn on, tune in, and drop your pants.
Lil ET:
Your whiteboy homies think you`re cool just cos you`re Jamaican
but I can see right through you, your blaggin` and your fakin`
You`re not awakened, you`re completely mistaken,
you`re piss-taking and you`re suffering from ego inflation.
If you want “enlightenment” Mister Moojibaba
you could start by losing some of that Mooji blubber.
And I hear you`ve got an eye for bit of freestyle booty,
things down in your commune getting kinda tooty fruity
with you going way beyond the dharmic call of duty.
Listen up. When I was young, I could never hold down a job,
but I head up my own corporation since I realised I`m God
I used to be on the dole, I was full of depression and woe,
but now I talk `bout consciousness, I`m making bundles of dough.
I couldn`t get a life, I couldn`t get a wench,
and just when topping myself seemed to make perfect sense,
I awakened into the present on a park bench,
That`s how I got re-invented as a spiritual ubermensch.
Now my spiritual homies flock to me for a spiritual revival
cos I promise them their egos will be dead on arrival.
Moo G Bubba:
Lil ET, you`ve got no future,
sure, you grin like your content,
but you`ve got the vocal range of nine yards of cement.
Listening to you is a non-event,
man, you can`t rap enlightenment in a German accent.
Me, I`m a boogie-night baba and a gangsta mahatma,
a Papaji papa and a badassatva.
Wake up bro, I`m owning you in this slam, you`re an also-ran,
I`ve got my own ashram, you`re a one-man band,
and I get my transmission directly from Raman.
You got enlightened on a park bench but I sit on a throne,
and I got my disciples chewing on my bone
while you`re sitting in an apartment “meditating” on your own.
Lil ET:
It`s true I read lots of books and it seemed to get me down
but since I got awakened, you know, I get around.
I was never naughty, but when I hit forty, I had a big satori,
discovered dropping spiritual rhymes was my biggest forte,
so I dropped my story, and tho` I was pretty scrawny
and my rap was mostly corny,
I hit the USA, cos I was bound for glory.
I sampled a bit of Barry Long, but a bit diluted
and people like Oprah found it therapeutic
now I`m the biggest teacher around, I`m undisputed
plus my awakening helped me find a cutie
see bro`, that`s the power of now – it helps you get the booty.
Now I`ve got inner peace, I`ve got the ultimate release
wonders never cease, I demand the highest fees
cos my consciousness is like my bank balance :
it`s always on the increase.
When I strut my stuff in the Albert Hall,
I`ve got Gwyneth Paltrow sitting in the stalls.
Annie Lennox and Jim Carrey give me rapturous applause.
It`s called attraction, bro, and I know all the laws,
I`m polite, I`m spirituaI and I never kick off
I`m so chillaxed, I`m even cooler than Wim Hof.
I diss my fans egos, but I don`t provoke,
I give them lots of strokes
that way,I appeal to a higher class of folks
who pay me 350 dollars to laugh at my jokes.
I sit on my ass and feel blissed that I exist,
I`m making moolah hand over fist.
Moo, you`re full of diss cos you`re just pissed that you missed
and I`m the one on Oprah and the Akashik rich list.
Moo G Bubba:
Bro, you`re sittin in your apartment beating your spiritual meat,
while I`ve got plenty bitches touching at my feet,
fighting amongst themselves to get a front row seat.
I got so many disciples knockin` on my door
cos meditation is the new medication and my homies need to score.
I`ve got my own scene, got my own sangha
I meditate so hard, I`m a spiritual gang-banger.
I`m biggin it up in my ashram, I know exactly who I am ,
I`m the most egoless atman since records began,
my rhymes are way cooler than the WuTang Clan,
my yoga`s hotter than Bikram in a hammam,
when it comes to meditation, I`m the main man.
I`m a master of non-duality, I`m way beyond polarity,
I`m the whole totality, I`ve dissolved into immor(t)ality.
I`m everywhere and nowhere, I transcend time and space,
from the Eastside to the Westside I`m dispensing divine grace,
just my very presence is a blessing for the human race.
Lil ET:
You`ve got the beard and a tea-cosy for a hat
but your raps are second-hand, you`re like an Osho tribute act
it`s the same old cack, yak,yak,yak,
hey, Mr Whack,it`s time to face the facts:
I don`t wear sandals, keep myself disentangled,
don`t get involved in any sordid scandals
I`m here to tell you truths that you can`t handle,
like: up against Lil ET, bro`, you just can`t hold a candle.
I`m the one giving birth to a new earth,
I teach my homies presence and true self worth,
I help them on their way in the spiritual search,
all they have to do is download my merch.
I play holier than thou, milk the sacred cow,
co-opt Jesus and Buddha, throw in a bit of Tao.
I`ve got the Hollywood crowd falling at my feet saying ”Wow!”
See, they want what I got and they want it now
and what have I got?
I got the power of Now.
(Recorded and transcribed by Frank)
That rap is def worth putting to a tune. Pretty cool, man.
Frank knocks it out of the park AGAIN!
But wait…a contender just posted a message on whatsapp!
“All you bitches ain’t worth shit, ask around “who am I?”
I’ll be flexing in a thousand years, cos legends never die
I’m the OG I’m the GOAT, you just baskin’ in my light
Ain’t grindin’ pussy ’n I’m broke, but my GPS is tight
I’m the humblest of the humble, I got the bragging rights
I’m 50 Rupees Ramana I win every fight
I’m cooler than ice-cube, chiller than vanilla ice
No chicken wings on my plate, it’s curried beans and rice
I’m with Brahman, I’m with Shiva, with the ancients and the greats
I’m on my Mount Olympus, got no haters to hate
You hittin’ groupies, hoes ’n bitches, looks like you cashed out
You got the loot, you learned to shoot, that’s not what I’m about
I’m the Universal.. Eastside Westside, North and South
Silence is the answer, you guys are all mouth
Never hustled on a stage, pimping for the chumps
I’m the real deal not the fake news, I always come up trumps.
If I put you in a band, I’d call you The Lost Boyz
Lil’ ET, Biggie Baba, twerking with your noise
I can back up what I say, simplicity’s my jam
In the hearts of all my homies, you’re on TikTok instagram
I’m the Killer, I’m the Skrilla, the nappy guru and I’m lit
I’m the whack down, I’m the smack down, I’m as cool as shit!
Non-dual shiva shankers, they’re everywhere you look
I’m 50 Rupees Ramana, and I wrote the book!”
Yo! OG Chuddie-man Raman is in da house!
Jeez, they’re all coming out of the woodwork.
Nisargadatta joins the fray, he writes…
Yo Domster
Sri Nis in the house
Just busting some rhymes for the fans
It’s 2024, same fuckin bullshit eh?
“I’m the joker I’m the smoker, straight outta Mumbai
Hardest on the field and you’re all here to die
I wrote the fucking bible for all you non-dual nerds
I’m the ego slayer, and it’s the final word
My name was Maruti, which sounds like a car
You gotta get a name change, to be a superstar
Ramana he was celibate, he didn’t give a fuck
Guess he was a momma’s boy, shit out of luck
I get my leg over like a Rajneesh dude.
On the streets, in a whorehouse, I’m getting screwed
I’m not the body I don’t worry, if I choke us all to death
I’ll be chain-smoking beedies, till my last breath
I’m the master blaster, don’t care what they say
My baggage can’t hurt me, you all suck anyway
I don’t take prisoners, I’m cruel to be kind
But if you’re a pussy, I suggest you run and hide
Now listen very carefully, I never dumb it down
I’m the baddest motherfucker, it’s written on my crown
I’m the Boss of all the Bosses, I know you can’t refuse
I’m Morpheus I’m medicine, a red pill for your blues
I’m the road, I’m the toad, 5-MeO-DMT
I’m Molly, psilocybin, mixed with sunshine LSD
My guru laid it on me, I knew that it was true
“You gangsters are all ‘THAT’, but I’m more ‘THAT’ than you!”
Yo! Hear the news from Ramesh Ballsache
I frequent the red light,not your public toilet
Disciples came to hear the sound of one hand clapping
Not to sit in your place and here the sound of one town crappin`
I`m like, be here now
you`re like bidi here now
You shoulda told your disciples to piss right off
cos all they got from you was a rasping cough
They shoulda bet on me cos I`m an enlightened banker
ou dear bro are a definite shiva shankar.
I got celebs as my biggest fans
Leonard Cohen said I was his man
You bro, you went and got yourself robbed
the most famous you had was a guy called Sailor Bob
You and me, there`s no comparison
I`m the dude with the ultimate medicine
I don`t care a bout all them Advaita freaks
Just listen up to me, cos consciousness speaks
Whoa, word up, What’s going down?
Papaji, da Bomb, is in da House, Big Willie style!
“What up, bloods? it’s me, loveguru Papaji
I’m a banging magnet for orphaned Rajneeshees
Hippies at my feet they think I’m the greatest
They look at Ballsache and know he’s the straightest
You’re a suit, you’re a square, you’re a merchant banker
Help me out with a rhyme, is it W. anchor?
I can giggle and laugh, something you can’t do
My groupies get enlightened in a day or two
You’re fake news, clickbait, hot air for global warming
You’re a nihilistic fatalistic post-apocalyptic warning
“World’s Greatest Sage?” Does that come with stuffing
You lecherous old goat, does your helmet need buffing?
I bagged a jiggy blonde, forty years younger than me
That’s not bad, for a guy of sixty
You charge a lot of cheese, you robbin’ people blind
It’s nondual fuckery, from your cranium mind
Poor old Lenny, he was such a sucker
From Roshi Sasaki to you, fothermucker
He never had a chance From Mount Baldy to Bombay
All his Hallelujahs ghosting, circling the drain
Consciousness speaks, yeah, out of its ass!
But don’t worry be happy, mah niggas… this too will pass.”
Hell, yeah!
Wisdom from the Wisden
from MC Iz Dom
Word up, bro!
The name is MC Cohen
I`ve got my own way of knowin`
Check out which way the wind is blowin`
I`m done with listening to your rap, I`m getting impatient
You beginning to wobble, so I`m your hip replacement
You stuck there watchin cricket and reading your Wisden
I`m in the front line beating up my disciples with some crazy wisdom
Your enlightenment was never really complete
Plus I need a papa with whom I can compete
I had a good time in Lucknow
But tell you the truth,I don`t give a fuck, now
I got my own disciples touchin my feet
why do I need to go to India get my asss roated in the heat?
You said I was a flea you had to shake off your back
Now this flea`s back and on the attack
Now I`ve gone, you don`t know what to do
You`re stuck in Indian Railway`s version of Crewe
I`m the head honcho of US Advaita
Time to face it bro`, Advaita just got whiter….
Yo! Papaji’s back, after a nap and some cricket
You going down punk, leg before wicket
You need a check up from the neck up, for your psyche
All your communities, turnin Th卐rd Reichy
Too much garbage, in your head
Now you’re in the sewer, lost your cred
Your crazy Badvaita shudda put you in the slammer
Beating up devotees with your katzenjammer
You look like a reject from the village people
You’re a narc, you’re a flea, you’re a dung beetle
My teaching’s eternal, authentic, victorious
Your word salad deepitys forgotten notorious
You’re outta business, you’ve fallen off a cliff
Blowing in the wind, sheeple wise to your grift
You made people’s, money disappear
I gave it for free, that’s more sincere
There’s waking up and growing up, and you suck at both
But you still craving that attention, like a hungry ghost
You shudda stayed a drummer, in a jazz band
Instead of white trash, even your mother can’t stand!
* Flashback, to when we were bff…
It started off happy, we was real chatty,
I was all set to inherit Ramana`s nappy
But things went batty, you got catty, I got ratty,
I got bratty, you got crabby
You threw a paddy, so It all ended up badly,
when you tried to hit me with your spiritual lathi
Cos I didn`t wanna be your tacky lackey
So just one question bro`:
Who`s the daddy?
“Who`s the daddy?”
Iz you 4real?
Iz you on crack or somethin’?
Whateva…
Listen up!
All you gangsta bitches, too big for your britches
I’m laughin’ in stitches, you rollin’ in ditches
I’m da humble giant from da East
I’m King Kong, I’m Godzilla, I’m da Beast
I’m Muhammed Ali, I sting like a bee
I’m all the evidence, you will ever need
I’m Buddha, I’m Jesus ’n all the rest
You’re a naughty boy from the West
I’m a legend, I’m perennial, not even tryin’
I do it for da love, ’n I ain’t lyin’
I’m da A team, I’m da Boss of all da Bosses
Word on da street, you da tosser of all da tosses!
His blessings.
Damn dawg!
This Thug life with gangster gurus, Iz wiggidy whack!
Booyakasha!
Guruz
in da Buddha `hood
4 real!
50 Paise say:
“Lost boyz gonna get enlightened or die tryin”
Stop with ya messing
an` all this bullshit with, like “his blessings”
You`re a blagger like me ,so time to start fessing
and spillin the beans `bout your cross-dressing
an all the ebeneezer your disciples were necking.
I thought you were the OG
there was no `I` just We.
I`d never been so happy:
you with your slaphead shining at me
while chewin on your pan and your wacky backy.
You said you were my buddy,
you promised me Ramana`s chuddies
I dug you so much I woulda committed Sutti
and I woulda given you free hits on my white butty.
But when I tried to tell you about my mission,
you still had an ego and you wouldn`t listen.
You hung on to your tradition
cos you didn`t want no competition
and you never gave me my deserved recognition.
You were my papa
but you turned out like my mama.
I guess I chose my parents
but what a bummer.
So don`t show me some respect and don`t expect me to genuflect
Cos now I gone and got my own special sect.
Don`t talk to me about cricket
cos you`re on a sticky wicket
And as far as you being the mainman
You can go and stick it.
I was non-binary, before it was cool
Wearing my finery, but strictly old skool
Getting lurved up, like a Krishna devotee
Making out in his crib, with a shit load of Gopis
Gotta go to work now, my people are waitin’
I’ll leave you with your sheeple, and your mass debatin’.
Slow rap: Vivo per Lei (music)
I live for her since you know,
The first time I found her.
I don’t remember how, but
She entered into me and stayed there.
I live for her because she makes me
Vibrate the spirit strongly,
I live for her and it’s not a charge.
I live for her, I also know it
And you don’t be jealous,
She belongs to everyone who
Has an ever-active need,
Like a stereo in the bedroom
Of that who is alone and now knows,
That she is also for him, so
I live for her.
She’s a muse that invites us
To caress her with the fingers,
Through a piano.
Death is far away,
I live for her.
I live for her that usually knows
To be sweet and sensual.
Sometimes she picks on my head but
It’s a fist that never hurts.
I live for her, I know it, she makes me
Go round from city to city,
Suffer a little but at least I live.
It’s a pain when she leaves.
I live for her inside hotels.
With extreme pleasure it grows.
I live for her in the vortex.
Through my voice
She expands and produces love.
I live for her, I have nothing else
And so many others I will find
That, like me, have written on their face:
I live for her.
I live for her.
On a balcony or against a wall,
I live for her to the limits.
Even on a hard tomorrow.
I live for her on the margin.
Each day a conquest,
The main character will always be her.
I live for her because from now on
I don’t have another way out,
Because music, you know,
I’ve really never traison her.
I live for her because she gives me
Pauses and notes in freedom.
If there were another life, I’d live,
I live for her.
I live for her, music.
I live for her.
I live for her, she’s unique.
I live for her.
I live for her.
I live for her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKa0wN31OD4
MOD:
“3rd verse from the end: “traison” – what does this mean, Veet?
Your new name is Grand Master Trash. It means that you must write rubbish on SN to dissolve the ego. Wear orange.