Eckhart Tolle vs. Mooji
Aka Lil ET vs. MC Moo G Bubba
Moo G Bubba:
The name is Moojibaba, I`m the most realised rapper
I`m comin` straight from the source, straight from the Papa
I`ve gone beyond illusion and I`ve gone beyond the mind
I already dropped my ego now I`m gonna drop some rhymes:
I`m a funky freestyle fakir, I ain`t fooling and faking
I`m the most badass gangsta that ever got awakened,
disciples who run with me get their egos crushed and shaken.
Ecky, you stole your name from some old-skool Christian mystic,
like your cardigan and buttoned-up shirt, you’re a retro old-skool mis-fit.
You’re the Forrest Gump of spirit, you look like a half-wit,
you look like social services should pay you a visit
you`ve got the charisma of a very soggy biscuit,
I`m a vehicle for unconditional love, but man, there`s a limit.
I tell you, bro, yours is not a good look
and I can`t believe you hit the big-time by writing just one book.
Since I was in Brixton town, I always sang my own song
while you done nothing with your rap `cept rip off Barry Long.
I`m not sayin you`re wrong, you just look like a mong
Me, I`m high on my own supply, I`ve got the best-stacked bong,
I`m clearly the MC with the well-biggest dong.
You look like you never went on a date or had an all-night dance,
smoked some entho plants or had a wild romance,
Yo! you need to turn on, tune in, and drop your pants.
Lil ET:
Your whiteboy homies think you`re cool just cos you`re Jamaican
but I can see right through you, your blaggin` and your fakin`
You`re not awakened, you`re completely mistaken,
you`re piss-taking and you`re suffering from ego inflation.
If you want “enlightenment” Mister Moojibaba
you could start by losing some of that Mooji blubber.
And I hear you`ve got an eye for bit of freestyle booty,
things down in your commune getting kinda tooty fruity
with you going way beyond the dharmic call of duty.
Listen up. When I was young, I could never hold down a job,
but I head up my own corporation since I realised I`m God
I used to be on the dole, I was full of depression and woe,
but now I talk `bout consciousness, I`m making bundles of dough.
I couldn`t get a life, I couldn`t get a wench,
and just when topping myself seemed to make perfect sense,
I awakened into the present on a park bench,
That`s how I got re-invented as a spiritual ubermensch.
Now my spiritual homies flock to me for a spiritual revival
cos I promise them their egos will be dead on arrival.
Moo G Bubba:
Lil ET, you`ve got no future,
sure, you grin like your content,
but you`ve got the vocal range of nine yards of cement.
Listening to you is a non-event,
man, you can`t rap enlightenment in a German accent.
Me, I`m a boogie-night baba and a gangsta mahatma,
a Papaji papa and a badassatva.
Wake up bro, I`m owning you in this slam, you`re an also-ran,
I`ve got my own ashram, you`re a one-man band,
and I get my transmission directly from Raman.
You got enlightened on a park bench but I sit on a throne,
and I got my disciples chewing on my bone
while you`re sitting in an apartment “meditating” on your own.
Lil ET:
It`s true I read lots of books and it seemed to get me down
but since I got awakened, you know, I get around.
I was never naughty, but when I hit forty, I had a big satori,
discovered dropping spiritual rhymes was my biggest forte,
so I dropped my story, and tho` I was pretty scrawny
and my rap was mostly corny,
I hit the USA, cos I was bound for glory.
I sampled a bit of Barry Long, but a bit diluted
and people like Oprah found it therapeutic
now I`m the biggest teacher around, I`m undisputed
plus my awakening helped me find a cutie
see bro`, that`s the power of now – it helps you get the booty.
Now I`ve got inner peace, I`ve got the ultimate release
wonders never cease, I demand the highest fees
cos my consciousness is like my bank balance :
it`s always on the increase.
When I strut my stuff in the Albert Hall,
I`ve got Gwyneth Paltrow sitting in the stalls.
Annie Lennox and Jim Carrey give me rapturous applause.
It`s called attraction, bro, and I know all the laws,
I`m polite, I`m spirituaI and I never kick off
I`m so chillaxed, I`m even cooler than Wim Hof.
I diss my fans egos, but I don`t provoke,
I give them lots of strokes
that way,I appeal to a higher class of folks
who pay me 350 dollars to laugh at my jokes.
I sit on my ass and feel blissed that I exist,
I`m making moolah hand over fist.
Moo, you`re full of diss cos you`re just pissed that you missed
and I`m the one on Oprah and the Akashik rich list.
Moo G Bubba:
Bro, you`re sittin in your apartment beating your spiritual meat,
while I`ve got plenty bitches touching at my feet,
fighting amongst themselves to get a front row seat.
I got so many disciples knockin` on my door
cos meditation is the new medication and my homies need to score.
I`ve got my own scene, got my own sangha
I meditate so hard, I`m a spiritual gang-banger.
I`m biggin it up in my ashram, I know exactly who I am ,
I`m the most egoless atman since records began,
my rhymes are way cooler than the WuTang Clan,
my yoga`s hotter than Bikram in a hammam,
when it comes to meditation, I`m the main man.
I`m a master of non-duality, I`m way beyond polarity,
I`m the whole totality, I`ve dissolved into immor(t)ality.
I`m everywhere and nowhere, I transcend time and space,
from the Eastside to the Westside I`m dispensing divine grace,
just my very presence is a blessing for the human race.
Lil ET:
You`ve got the beard and a tea-cosy for a hat
but your raps are second-hand, you`re like an Osho tribute act
it`s the same old cack, yak,yak,yak,
hey, Mr Whack,it`s time to face the facts:
I don`t wear sandals, keep myself disentangled,
don`t get involved in any sordid scandals
I`m here to tell you truths that you can`t handle,
like: up against Lil ET, bro`, you just can`t hold a candle.
I`m the one giving birth to a new earth,
I teach my homies presence and true self worth,
I help them on their way in the spiritual search,
all they have to do is download my merch.
I play holier than thou, milk the sacred cow,
co-opt Jesus and Buddha, throw in a bit of Tao.
I`ve got the Hollywood crowd falling at my feet saying ”Wow!”
See, they want what I got and they want it now
and what have I got?
I got the power of Now.
(Recorded and transcribed by Frank)
That rap is def worth putting to a tune. Pretty cool, man.
Frank knocks it out of the park AGAIN!
But wait…a contender just posted a message on whatsapp!
“All you bitches ain’t worth shit, ask around “who am I?”
I’ll be flexing in a thousand years, cos legends never die
I’m the OG I’m the GOAT, you just baskin’ in my light
Ain’t grindin’ pussy ’n I’m broke, but my GPS is tight
I’m the humblest of the humble, I got the bragging rights
I’m 50 Rupees Ramana I win every fight
I’m cooler than ice-cube, chiller than vanilla ice
No chicken wings on my plate, it’s curried beans and rice
I’m with Brahman, I’m with Shiva, with the ancients and the greats
I’m on my Mount Olympus, got no haters to hate
You hittin’ groupies, hoes ’n bitches, looks like you cashed out
You got the loot, you learned to shoot, that’s not what I’m about
I’m the Universal.. Eastside Westside, North and South
Silence is the answer, you guys are all mouth
Never hustled on a stage, pimping for the chumps
I’m the real deal not the fake news, I always come up trumps.
If I put you in a band, I’d call you The Lost Boyz
Lil’ ET, Biggie Baba, twerking with your noise
I can back up what I say, simplicity’s my jam
In the hearts of all my homies, you’re on TikTok instagram
I’m the Killer, I’m the Skrilla, the nappy guru and I’m lit
I’m the whack down, I’m the smack down, I’m as cool as shit!
Non-dual shiva shankers, they’re everywhere you look
I’m 50 Rupees Ramana, and I wrote the book!”
Yo! OG Chuddie-man Raman is in da house!
Jeez, they’re all coming out of the woodwork.
Nisargadatta joins the fray, he writes…
Yo Domster
Sri Nis in the house
Just busting some rhymes for the fans
It’s 2024, same fuckin bullshit eh?
“I’m the joker I’m the smoker, straight outta Mumbai
Hardest on the field and you’re all here to die
I wrote the fucking bible for all you non-dual nerds
I’m the ego slayer, and it’s the final word
My name was Maruti, which sounds like a car
You gotta get a name change, to be a superstar
Ramana he was celibate, he didn’t give a fuck
Guess he was a momma’s boy, shit out of luck
I get my leg over like a Rajneesh dude.
On the streets, in a whorehouse, I’m getting screwed
I’m not the body I don’t worry, if I choke us all to death
I’ll be chain-smoking beedies, till my last breath
I’m the master blaster, don’t care what they say
My baggage can’t hurt me, you all suck anyway
I don’t take prisoners, I’m cruel to be kind
But if you’re a pussy, I suggest you run and hide
Now listen very carefully, I never dumb it down
I’m the baddest motherfucker, it’s written on my crown
I’m the Boss of all the Bosses, I know you can’t refuse
I’m Morpheus I’m medicine, a red pill for your blues
I’m the road, I’m the toad, 5-MeO-DMT
I’m Molly, psilocybin, mixed with sunshine LSD
My guru laid it on me, I knew that it was true
“You gangsters are all ‘THAT’, but I’m more ‘THAT’ than you!”
Yo! Hear the news from Ramesh Ballsache
I frequent the red light,not your public toilet
Disciples came to hear the sound of one hand clapping
Not to sit in your place and here the sound of one town crappin`
I`m like, be here now
you`re like bidi here now
You shoulda told your disciples to piss right off
cos all they got from you was a rasping cough
They shoulda bet on me cos I`m an enlightened banker
ou dear bro are a definite shiva shankar.
I got celebs as my biggest fans
Leonard Cohen said I was his man
You bro, you went and got yourself robbed
the most famous you had was a guy called Sailor Bob
You and me, there`s no comparison
I`m the dude with the ultimate medicine
I don`t care a bout all them Advaita freaks
Just listen up to me, cos consciousness speaks
Whoa, word up, What’s going down?
Papaji, da Bomb, is in da House, Big Willie style!
“What up, bloods? it’s me, loveguru Papaji
I’m a banging magnet for orphaned Rajneeshees
Hippies at my feet they think I’m the greatest
They look at Ballsache and know he’s the straightest
You’re a suit, you’re a square, you’re a merchant banker
Help me out with a rhyme, is it W. anchor?
I can giggle and laugh, something you can’t do
My groupies get enlightened in a day or two
You’re fake news, clickbait, hot air for global warming
You’re a nihilistic fatalistic post-apocalyptic warning
“World’s Greatest Sage?” Does that come with stuffing
You lecherous old goat, does your helmet need buffing?
I bagged a jiggy blonde, forty years younger than me
That’s not bad, for a guy of sixty
You charge a lot of cheese, you robbin’ people blind
It’s nondual fuckery, from your cranium mind
Poor old Lenny, he was such a sucker
From Roshi Sasaki to you, fothermucker
He never had a chance From Mount Baldy to Bombay
All his Hallelujahs ghosting, circling the drain
Consciousness speaks, yeah, out of its ass!
But don’t worry be happy, mah niggas… this too will pass.”
Hell, yeah!
Wisdom from the Wisden
from MC Iz Dom
Word up, bro!
The name is MC Cohen
I`ve got my own way of knowin`
Check out which way the wind is blowin`
I`m done with listening to your rap, I`m getting impatient
You beginning to wobble, so I`m your hip replacement
You stuck there watchin cricket and reading your Wisden
I`m in the front line beating up my disciples with some crazy wisdom
Your enlightenment was never really complete
Plus I need a papa with whom I can compete
I had a good time in Lucknow
But tell you the truth,I don`t give a fuck, now
I got my own disciples touchin my feet
why do I need to go to India get my asss roated in the heat?
You said I was a flea you had to shake off your back
Now this flea`s back and on the attack
Now I`ve gone, you don`t know what to do
You`re stuck in Indian Railway`s version of Crewe
I`m the head honcho of US Advaita
Time to face it bro`, Advaita just got whiter….
Yo! Papaji’s back, after a nap and some cricket
You going down punk, leg before wicket
You need a check up from the neck up, for your psyche
All your communities, turnin Th卐rd Reichy
Too much garbage, in your head
Now you’re in the sewer, lost your cred
Your crazy Badvaita shudda put you in the slammer
Beating up devotees with your katzenjammer
You look like a reject from the village people
You’re a narc, you’re a flea, you’re a dung beetle
My teaching’s eternal, authentic, victorious
Your word salad deepitys forgotten notorious
You’re outta business, you’ve fallen off a cliff
Blowing in the wind, sheeple wise to your grift
You made people’s, money disappear
I gave it for free, that’s more sincere
There’s waking up and growing up, and you suck at both
But you still craving that attention, like a hungry ghost
You shudda stayed a drummer, in a jazz band
Instead of white trash, even your mother can’t stand!
* Flashback, to when we were bff…
It started off happy, we was real chatty,
I was all set to inherit Ramana`s nappy
But things went batty, you got catty, I got ratty,
I got bratty, you got crabby
You threw a paddy, so It all ended up badly,
when you tried to hit me with your spiritual lathi
Cos I didn`t wanna be your tacky lackey
So just one question bro`:
Who`s the daddy?
“Who`s the daddy?”
Iz you 4real?
Iz you on crack or somethin’?
Whateva…
Listen up!
All you gangsta bitches, too big for your britches
I’m laughin’ in stitches, you rollin’ in ditches
I’m da humble giant from da East
I’m King Kong, I’m Godzilla, I’m da Beast
I’m Muhammed Ali, I sting like a bee
I’m all the evidence, you will ever need
I’m Buddha, I’m Jesus ’n all the rest
You’re a naughty boy from the West
I’m a legend, I’m perennial, not even tryin’
I do it for da love, ’n I ain’t lyin’
I’m da A team, I’m da Boss of all da Bosses
Word on da street, you da tosser of all da tosses!
His blessings.
Damn dawg!
This Thug life with gangster gurus, Iz wiggidy whack!
Booyakasha!
Guruz
in da Buddha `hood
4 real!
50 Paise say:
“Lost boyz gonna get enlightened or die tryin”
Stop with ya messing
an` all this bullshit with, like “his blessings”
You`re a blagger like me ,so time to start fessing
and spillin the beans `bout your cross-dressing
an all the ebeneezer your disciples were necking.
I thought you were the OG
there was no `I` just We.
I`d never been so happy:
you with your slaphead shining at me
while chewin on your pan and your wacky backy.
You said you were my buddy,
you promised me Ramana`s chuddies
I dug you so much I woulda committed Sutti
and I woulda given you free hits on my white butty.
But when I tried to tell you about my mission,
you still had an ego and you wouldn`t listen.
You hung on to your tradition
cos you didn`t want no competition
and you never gave me my deserved recognition.
You were my papa
but you turned out like my mama.
I guess I chose my parents
but what a bummer.
So don`t show me some respect and don`t expect me to genuflect
Cos now I gone and got my own special sect.
Don`t talk to me about cricket
cos you`re on a sticky wicket
And as far as you being the mainman
You can go and stick it.
I was non-binary, before it was cool
Wearing my finery, but strictly old skool
Getting lurved up, like a Krishna devotee
Making out in his crib, with a shit load of Gopis
Gotta go to work now, my people are waitin’
I’ll leave you with your sheeple, and your mass debatin’.
Yo there homies this is Nisargatta
Smokin` bidis and havin a natter
I smoked more bidis than any man alive
I`m not talking the cheap stuff, I`m talking Ganesh 5
‘I Am That’ is a modern classic
even if my sexlife was a bit Jurassic
I don`t need no Rolls Royce or no fancy toys
Cos I`m hanging in the `hood with my Maharati boyz
You and your whiteboys fucked neo Advaita, it got out of control
But there was no ‘I’ ,to blame it`s just how the universe rolls
I`ve left the planet now, I`ve said enough
I transcended it all and took my last puff
I leave it to you to figure out where it`s all at
Just remember one thing: Thou art Twat.
Yo! MC Okker, aka Barry Long is back in da hood!
And he is not best pleased about ET sampling his licks.
Listen up, this is MC Okker,
I can`t believe the world is listening to that squashed-face little focker.
ET ripped off all my best riffs,
he just went and took `em, they`re all straight lifts,
He never namechecks me or gives me respect,
When I catch the little rat I`ll hang him by the neck
I remember that creep taking notes and hanging round my posse
so when I catch the little runt , he`s gonna feel his pain body.
It`s more than enough to make my mouth foam,
people fallin at the feet of some garden gnome
I`m the Jesus, he`s the Judas,
I`m down to earth, he`s just ludicrous,
I`m the guru, I`m the one who`s godly
I`m the Del Boy, he`s the Rodney.
Go and tell the thieving bastard that I`m the tantric master:
I was in my sixties I still got five bitches
I was satisfying them all without any hitches,
my technique was immaculate didn`t have any glitches
I fulfilled all their wishes
I didn`t even have to wash the dishes
cos I`m the total master of every thing which is.
But this sneaky little kraut,
the one with the pushed-in snout,
he never got to put it about
cos he `s got the sex appeal of boy scout,
But now he`s the darling to the Hollywood set,
they fall at his little feet, they think he`s the best.
He`s gone and hit the bigtime with his power of now,
while all I got was sloppy seconds from the Osho crowd.
It`s an akashik tragedy, a very sorry fate
when I ended up on telly introduced as “your Ozzie mate”
I tell you bro that grates,
so when I meet you in the next life don`t ask for mercy
cos it`ll be too late.
I`ll be waiting for you like a cat waits for a mouse.
Recognise the reference?
I knew you would, you louse.
So just watch your sorry ass bro,
cos MC Okker is in da house!
Most amusing, Frank, a good laugh all the way through.
It’s true, ET doesn’t acknowledge BL after having ‘lifted’ key aspects of his teaching from him, even attending one of Barry’s public meetings in the mid-80s. But BL predicted that his work would continue through someone who’d expand it throughout the world and that person is clearly ET.
Such different types though: the worldly-wise Aussie ex-newspaper editor and pr man, who lived a normal family life until impelled to find ‘the Truth’ and the unworldly, traumatised, academically inclined. sexually inactive for decades (it would seem) post-graduate drop-out!
Cheers, SD.
Maybe someone missed the opportunity for a good sitcom with those two characters living in a crowded flat together like the Odd Couple.
Goin` a bit retro, now.
with the:
Shine on You Crazy Diamond Sutra
Osho was the piper at the gates of dawn.
People asked for more. He got fearless.
He set the controls for the heart of the sun
Things went into interstellar overdrive.
Then some of the disciples started to meddle,
got into money.
Enlightenment got obscured by clouds,
the lord of the full moon ended up on the dark side of the moon.
and then moved on to that great gig in the sky.
Now, the disciples have gone all `us and them`,
Mostly comfortably numb, some with brain damage,
others are just relics singing de Nile song and saying:
`Wish you were here`.
Just echoes.
Nowadays mostly what you hear is:
`Hey teacher! Leave those kids alone`
All in all it`s just another brick in the wall.
Good use of Pink Floyd songs. Corporal Klegg would have been proud of you.
Barry Long. Bill-a-Bong, Ding Dong!
Woz Bazza well gud or well crap?
Wot I know…
He was a wise guy, a rapper and practised serial mahoegany with 5 wifeys.
He did a Buddha run on his first wifey n kidz. Respek!
Sadly he passed away, before reaching Henry da eighth Poke-a-mom Go level.
He woz famous 4 being a Tantric Dong Master n wrote a lotta bookz, lyke…
- Making Your Knob Work For U: the divine way
– Knowing Yerzelf, Abusing Yerzelf: Hands Off guide
– The Way In, N Out of Da Muff
- Stilliness is Da Way
- Wisdom 4real, Innit Bruv?
Many of hiz bookz woz translated into Aussie…
- No worries, Mate
- Yeah, Nah. Nah,Yeah
His last banger woz…
“Struth, Why Da Fuck Do I Haz To Look Lyke Eckhart Tool?”
Okay, dumping my wife wasn`t something I shoulda,
but fuck it, bro, so did MC Buddha.
I was getting bored writing copy for newspaper ads,
so I went and hit the road, became a deadbeat dad.
I walked out the door and never came back.
what was I supposed to do?
Tell her I was banging my secretary behind her back?
People accuse me of chasing women and getting flirty.
but, like with my philosophy, I just followed Krishnamurti
But I kept it down-to-earth, dude, I was blue collar,
I didn`t act like one of them flashy Indian wallahs,
Those lazy Asians are too laconic and hedonic
I like to keep my scene a lot more draconic.
I taught a no-nonsense attitude to sex
Cos I`m an Ozzie, bro, I don`t give a XXXX
I told my disciples straight,
this is what the scene is:
Lie on your bed for hours with an unemotional penis,
don`t blast off straight away, don`t go intravenous,
they loved it, man, said I was a spiritual genius.
Personally, I don`t have time for glitz and glamour
I like to grab a Sheila and then just bang her.
So back off, bro, you sound like a wannabe,
me I`m the real deal, I`m a fuckin` Wallaby!
Btw, I saw your pic, and it`s true I look a bit like Tolle.
Fuck, what can a I say, except, maybe LOL?
Yo, circle up, Papaji’s back on the Mic
Cos Barry Long fosho ain’t no Barry white
All your groupies California dreamin’
Did they spit or swallow your enlightened semen?
Don’t fool yourself bro, you a preacher pentecosta
With an entourage of hippie chicks on your roster
No wonder your pecker, worn out at seventy seven
Now you bustin your nuts in guru heaven
I’m Papaji OG, I’m still fly.
I wake up ‘n roar, a legend I never die
My sadhana is tight, I curl up in bed
With ‘Cricket Today’, not getting head
As for emcee Cohenski, he’s shit out of Luck now
Have you seen him lately, not pulling a crowd
His YouTube numbers are sad and pitiful
I’m off the chain, tots incredible!
Dat old Osho dude look like 90 at 50
I was still getting jiggy with it after 60
What a blah blah machine, got ‘em all spellbound
I’m da real deal, I don’t fuck around
I’m da satsang killa, ’n I deliver, no slick spinner
for a beginner, or bullshitter or kiddie fiddler
Satsang? I invented it
Neo-advaita? I fermented it
I don’t get juiced or chemically unbalanced.
My vibes on boost, I got da talents!
I got da lineage, da heritage, my crew, my fam
Cos the Atman… is where it’s at man!
You`re not the OG Atman,
you look more like
`I am Twatman`,
listen up, cos I`m Raman, I`m the one who knows exactly who I am.
So you call yourself Papa
Like as if you`re some kind of rapper
but you`re just another one hand clapper.
Listen up bro` cos I`m gonna slap ya
and place my knee right in your jnackers.
Don`t try and make out like we was best buddies
I was always the one wearing the chuddies.
I had proper gora disciples like Major Chadwick
He wasn`t chasing chicks and following his dick
No, he bowed his head and gave me real respec`
He was a proper sahib, nice and polite
Not some fuckin chancer looking for a fight
He found my ashram nice and calming
He was like, a nice white brahmin.
You, your meditation slackened, you fell off the wagon,
you saw those hippy chicks and you just had to have one,
but don`t forget this fact: It`s me that`s the Bhagwan.
That’s Ma ha ha richie coming from you
Some sad shit ananda from a titty guru
You’re in Arunachala la la land, ‘n you pong
I’m da satsang killa, I’m King Kong
You couldn’t swot a fly, lift a knee you’d rollover
Before you say “who am I?”, it would all be over.
After your samadhi attacks you forgot to feed yourself
And the bugs and flies came to eat yourself
No wonder you wearing pampers in case you poop yourself
Your best buddy was Sri Lakshmi a cow, I can’t compete
It’s the only time I seen you smile like that, how sweet
I liberated hundreds, I raised an army
You enlightened your mum and a cow, sounds well dodgy
Your teachings are timeless and all homespun
But did you ever teach anyone how to have some fun?
Your peeps look miserable, skanky and glum
If your Major saw my hippie chicks his hard wick would come
Your Shiva mountain is just a little hill
A walk around and around for the mentally ill
Da body is “a disease” you said, my body is a temple
Dat’s very neggy, even if it’s just a rental
Here’s some tips, put it in your diary
Try some more health and less Self-inquiry
Wear some sunscreen SPF fifty
When you go walkin’ you won’t come back crispy
Join our Poon Tang Clan, be less intellectual
Or Maybe you just LGBTQI Asexual?
Get a life, bag two wives, eat with a knife, live till seventy-five
You blew up in my reflected light, Raman noodles
But I’m still da Tiger burning bright…toodles.
You might think you`re hot shit Ananda,
but you`re just suffering from delusions of grandeur.
So, you live in Lucknow,
and think it`s ok to fuck now,
but listen up bro` cos I`m ready for a ruck now,
and I promise you you`re gonna get unstuck now.
The satsang scene has gone down the drain,
your satsang junkies don`t even have half a brain,
it`s a social club for the clinically insane,
and you and homies are the ones to blame.
Shaking all those fleas off of your back.
you unleashed a tsunami of spiritual cack.
I`ll say one thing for your version of Advaita
It really couldn`t get even a little bit shite-er.
Wake up and roar at the cricket on your telly,
and stuff your fat ass with milk-sweet and jelly,
cos one thing never got enlightened and that`s your belly.
You got caught up in sex, food and cricket,
now you`re tossing your balls on a very sticky wicket.
With all those gora girls hanging on everything you said,
you started playing the field with your third leg.
Just one glimpse of some gora rump
you lost control, and pulled out your middle stump.
I didn`t need to bowl a maiden over
cos I`m a one-off, a hard core loner.
That`s the thing about brahmacharya,
you can ride a cow, but you don`t have to marry her.
Unlike you with your fooling and your blagging
I can say, hand on heart: Nothing Ever Happened
Don’t promise what you can’t deliver
You be floatin’ down da Ganges River
It’ll eat you up, bad for your liver
By the way, where are your caregivers?
Most seekers don’t know, you had chronic epileptic seizures
You couldn’t care for yourself, so you had feeders
They must have thought it an enlightened state
When you wobbling like a jelly with a shaky gait
I’m da SpaceX rocket for da nondual scene
I created a movement it’s goin’ mainstream
Sure I like ma food, Im a greedy hog
A cookie monster and a horny dog
It grounds ma body, what can I say?
I do it for y’all so I don’t float away
I’m strictly old school and a fan of Vedic polyamory
Krishna had 16,108 wives, that’s a lot of sweet mammaries!
What about Shiva, his crazy dick and girlfriends?
Without a booty call humanity would end
It’s ok to fuck now, haven’t you heard?
Just don’t bang Lakshmi the cow, if there’s a bull in the herd!
I said wake up and roar, not wake up and bore
You stealin my lines, you want some more?
Here it is, you should try it
Shut da fuck up and “Just Keep Quiet!”
Slow rap: Vivo per Lei (music)
I live for her since you know,
The first time I found her.
I don’t remember how, but
She entered into me and stayed there.
I live for her because she makes me
Vibrate the spirit strongly,
I live for her and it’s not a charge.
I live for her, I also know it
And you don’t be jealous,
She belongs to everyone who
Has an ever-active need,
Like a stereo in the bedroom
Of that who is alone and now knows,
That she is also for him, so
I live for her.
She’s a muse that invites us
To caress her with the fingers,
Through a piano.
Death is far away,
I live for her.
I live for her that usually knows
To be sweet and sensual.
Sometimes she picks on my head but
It’s a fist that never hurts.
I live for her, I know it, she makes me
Go round from city to city,
Suffer a little but at least I live.
It’s a pain when she leaves.
I live for her inside hotels.
With extreme pleasure it grows.
I live for her in the vortex.
Through my voice
She expands and produces love.
I live for her, I have nothing else
And so many others I will find
That, like me, have written on their face:
I live for her.
I live for her.
On a balcony or against a wall,
I live for her to the limits.
Even on a hard tomorrow.
I live for her on the margin.
Each day a conquest,
The main character will always be her.
I live for her because from now on
I don’t have another way out,
Because music, you know,
I’ve really never traison her.
I live for her because she gives me
Pauses and notes in freedom.
If there were another life, I’d live,
I live for her.
I live for her, music.
I live for her.
I live for her, she’s unique.
I live for her.
I live for her.
I live for her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKa0wN31OD4
MOD:
“3rd verse from the end: “traison” – what does this mean, Veet?
Your new name is Grand Master Trash. It means that you must write rubbish on SN to dissolve the ego. Wear orange.
Good stuff, mates.
Pretty masterfully composed.
Me no can do same. Truth.
Yo! MC Klaus
is in da house!
There’s a new celebrity guru in town!
The result of advanced biotech engineering (a rumoured Elon Musk project) between a man and a salmon… Sri Simon the Simple Salmon.
Simon offers a very simple teaching.
He says, “First person to say I’m enlightened is disqualified, as there are NO enlightened people, a wave is not separate from the ocean”.
Other quotes,
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle
You put water into a mindless follower, and it comes out of their ears.”
“Reject humanity, they pollute the oceans
Humans are already 70% water, only 30% to go.”
“Water can flow or it can crash.
Be like water, my friend.”
“Merry Fishmas”
During the salmon spawning season, (Nov-Jan) celebrities line up for his Darshan and to catch Sri Simon’s milt (male seminal fluid) spraying onto their faces, which makes an excellent rejuvenating face cream!
Simon’s had some mixed reviews:
“A slick and slimy guru”
“sounds fishy, looks fishy”
“totally badass, he’s got the swag”
“a deranged would-be prophet”
“a whirling Derfish, totally cheered me up (Sadhguru)”
With apologies to John Lennon (on his deathday?)
I don’t believe in cultists
I don’t believe in anti-cultists
I don’t believe in baboons
I don’t believe in alcoholics
I don’t believe in therapists
I don’t believe in rapists
I don`t believe in Rolls Royces
I don`t believe in devices
I don`t believe in mind
I don`t believe in no-mind
I don’t believe in psychedelics
I don’t believe in valium
I don’t believe in sannyasins
I don’t believe in ex-sannyasins
I don`t believe in enlightenment
I don`t believe in gaslightenment
I don’t believe in Yogi
I don’t believe in Bhorat
I don`t believe in yahoo
I don’t believe in hari om
I don’t believe in garden gnomes
I don`t believe in oversized chuddies
I don’t believe in masters
I don`t believe in master-debaters.
Dream is over.
U. G. (Useless Guy) Krishnamurti says, “Fuck Yeah!”
I don’t believe that dream is over.
Dream comes and goes.
Simon the Salmon says, “Jai Guru Deva Om to all that, nothing’s going to change my world, as I swish my tail through the ocean of samsara.
Let’s all come together this Xmas, and give peas a chance with some glass onions, followed by marshmallow pie topped with strawberry fields, tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Yum!”
https://youtu.be/CmlnO1EwCT4?si=yeh1M2sqTecnS7LS
When life gives you Lennons make Lennonade!
Imagine there’s no gurus
It’s easy if you try
No cults and followers
No pie in the sky
Imagine all the people
With a working brain
Ah-ah-ahaha
Imagine no love bombing
No kumbaya
No laughing gas-lighting
No Rollies and Rollers
Imagine all the people
Free to speak their minds
You-ooh-oohoohoo
You may say I’m not a believer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
Without Uzis and handguns
Imagine no sterilisation
I wonder if you can
No need for kiddie fiddlers
Or bio-terrorism plans
Imagine all the people
Without predators and prey
You-ooh-oohoohoo
You may say he’s enlightened
When he tells you to suck his dick
He may say this is a device for your benefit
You may say he’s just a prick.