The transcript of another Epic Rap Battle of History has come to light and reaches the shores of wisdom first on SannyasNews.
GEORGIE G versus RAMAN `THE MAINMAN` MAHARSHI
GEORGIE G
Yo! My name is Georgie G and I`m a rascal saint
I`m here to destroy your expectations, so celibate and sober I aint
I`m the most badass gangsta that ever got awakened
Homies who run with my possee get their egos crushed and shaken.
You might like to sit in your temple hypnotising sheep
But I tell you buddy, I`m out there waging war on sleep.
I`ve been in a few scuffles and taken a few bullets for the cause
So, time to wake up,`cos this lion roars.
The energy of my rhymes is gonna kill you like a yak
I`ll give you a conscious shock from which you won`t come back.
When I was born ,I hit the jackpot
My dad and granddad, they were top, they knew a lot
They both did the Gilgamesh rap-they was red hot,
That`s why my rhymes rock, they always hit the G-spot.
I`m gonna find your chief feature and then I`m gonna bust it
All you gotta do is surrender to me, kiss my ass and trust it.
When I catch my flow, it comes out sharp as Stormzy`s
My rhymes will mash your ego just like they mashed Ouspensky`s.
Hey Raman, what`s with the oversized banana hammock hanging off your ass?
You mumbling `who am I? ` Whassup? Been smokin too much Kerala grass?
And when`s the last time you actually had a job
Apart from getting free food by passing yourself off as God?
I don’t renounce the world or sit in a cave and shirk
I put on a clean shirt and I go out and do The Work
Sitting on your ass and talking to monkeys and goats,
Don`t you think it`s time you invested in some trousers and a coat?
RAMAN THE MAINMAN
Who is it that is asking? that`s what I want to know
Who`s behind the drinking, the smoking and the show?
Listen up: my name is Raman,I know exactly who I am,
I`m the most egoless atman in all of Hindustan.
When it comes to meditation,I`m the main man
If you think you`re gonna win this duel,you gonna get schooled
There`s only gonna be one winner here cos I`m totally non-dual.
You`re a honky from the Westside,I`m a mystic from the Eastside
Your brains are totally fried, I`m the guru here ,I`m the guide
You`ve gone down in history as a charlatan,but me-I`ve been deified
So fasten your seatbelt dude,I`m gonna take you for a ride.
I rap to peacocks and snakes, and all the monkeys listen
You rap like you`re Rambo going off on some manic mission.
You went to school with Stalin and I tell you bro, it shows.
So listen up psycho-killer, cos this is how it flows:
You`ve got an over-sized cranium that’s housing a tyrant.
But I don`t worry about your ego cos I`ll kill it with my silence.
Why not try your Stop! exercise when you write your next book?
Ease off the zernofookalniranian gobbledegook
You think that it`s `conscious` when you`re steamin` and getting laid?
When it comes to walking the path, bro, you`ve seriously strayed.
Cos `conscious` is me in my Tamil speedos basking in the shade,
You`re swigging too much Calvados and getting way too grandiose
You gonna overdose if you don`t bid the bottle adios.
Sitting round stuffing your face and toasting your 33 idiots and losers
Your mystery school`s a crammer for mountebanks and boozers.
None of them could ever make it as a fakir, a yogi or a monk
Your fourth way`s just an excuse for pretending to be drunk.
Tryin to be guru? What? You some kind of wigger?
Check this out,dude: Who am I ? Go figure.
GEORGIE G
What`s the dope with this weird trip you call Advaita?
Is it some kind of challenge to see who`s wearing the biggest diapers?
Me,I`m looking for 200 enlightened guys who can handle their drink
To bring this crazy planet back from the brink.
We need the right combination of God and the Devil
To get humanity back up onto the Seventh level.
But, being completely out of your mind and slumped on your behind:
I gotta say that ain`t no way to change the future of mankind.
And seriously dude, I don`t wanna sound rude
But your bod looks pretty weedy like you need to eat some food.
You should try out my movements: they`re harmonious for body and soul
But the only movements I can see you doing are squatting over a hole,
Wandering round the mountain and looking like a bum
You need to cut loose, get out and have some fun.
Man is really nothing but an unconscious mechanical machine
I fuel mine with plenty of booze, fags and caffeine.
Maybe you need to cut down on the pujas and all that vibhuti
Munch some kebab dosas and find yourself some booty.
Come over to Paris and I`ll show you a real good time
I`ve got a possee of hot western bitches and a cellar full of wine.
RAMAN THE MAINMAN
If you`re so keen to make improvements to the human race
You could start by shaving that bush off of your face.
It might impress some of your Westside idiots, disciples and sheeple,
But you look like a cross between Dr Evil and one of the Village People
If I want to do some intentional suffering, I`ll read Beelzebub`s tales
It`s the literary equivalent of lying on a bed of nails,
Even Osho said you could get all the good bits on the back of an airmail
It`s an classic epic for sure, a classic epic fail.
I know how to run an ashram, I don`t allow meat, fags and booze
Mine`s a sattvic holy scene run by proper pukka Hindus
The effect of trad religion is so nice and calming
I even got special seats for the high-class Brahmins.
I`m not surprised you went bust when you started your ashram
You should have stuck to your dodgy scams back in Kazakhstan.
Wasting all that energy running after those dollar bills
God gives me everything I need – I`ve even got my own hill.
Running on a treadmill looking for the next thrill
You seem to be suffering from the illusion of free will
Look: There`s no doer to do, so why not just chill?
Your chief disciple, Ouspensky, he didn`t want to linger,
He didn`t like the way you flashed your mojo, so he gave you the finger.
You wound up looking like a Sufi who had totally over-whirled
You need to come down to Tiru and check the view from the real world.
Listen up bro`, cos I`m the godfather of Advaita
“Who am I?” is my catchphrase and it couldn`t be any tighter
My legacy`s gone global and things couldn`t be brighter
Step down, Mr G, you`ve gone and sung your tune
You`re well past your sell-by date, you`re food for the moon.
GEORGIE G
It`s true that writing Beelzebub made me feel pretty down
But at least I didn`t waste all my life in the same one-horse town
I`ve met more remarkable men than you`ve had hot dinners
So, don`t diss my work, you fakir, cos I`m a total winner.
I was wandering round the mystic East and grooving with Yazidis
While your disciples were sitting in the slums and smoking Ganesh bidis.
You went and started an epidemic of western satsang junkies
Chasing the banana of enlightenment like a bunch of frigging monkeys.
My way is for true seekers who want to learn the law of seven
Not join your wacko fan club with the likes of Mooji and Cohen.
Don’t mess with my essence if you know what`s good
I`m still the main man of the Sarmoung `hood.
This whole scene could just get a whole lot rougher
When I start to lay in to your blocked kundabuffer.
So don`t gimme no more holy bull, mister Hindu caveman
I don`t need to hear no more ashram atman batman flimflam
I`ve got your number in my enneagram,
And I`m owning you in this rap slam
Your catchphrase may have caught on from Japan to San Fran,
But I tell you,mine`s the realest, man.
Why? Cos life is only real when I AM.
Great stuff, I could put it to beats and knock you off your feets.
Go on McLoke, we want to hear it!
By God, it is really fantastic! You two together, rock!
Looking forward to the album! XXX
Tan, thanks.
Great change from SN overseriousness!
Time to take it on the stage, and for Frank to finally emerge from the shadows of Brixton.
“I was wandering round the mystic East and grooving with Yazidis
While your disciples were sitting in the slums and smoking Ganesh bidis.
You went and started an epidemic of western satsang junkies
Chasing the banana of enlightenment like a bunch of frigging monkeys.
My way is for true seekers who want to learn the law of seven
Not join your wacko fan club with the likes of Mooji and Cohen.”
Knock-out punch!
“But I tell you, mine`s the realest, man.
Why? Cos life is only real when I AM!”
Frank, that was the killer!
I was wondering, Frank, why you had’nt appeared for a while, now I see that you were busy channelling the Wholy Rapmasters! Gurdramanabrilliantica!!
If Oshonews people have real sense of humour they won’t hesitate to publish the work of fellow snews bloggers.
In my opinion, even Osho would not have hesitated to read this epic and make it immortal literature.
Both of your assumptions, Shantam (27 February, 2018 at 11:19 am) are wrong, I´d say; but for different reasons.
In Mahavira´s terms, as I have known his teachings from Jain-born Shri Osho Ji, anything can be right, wrong or maybe.
If, my dear lady, you know Osho teachings that good, please let me know when Osho has spoken about some meditation resort and instructed after how many days after his departure it must be on the board.
You said, Shantam Prem (25 February, 2018 at 2:49 pm): “Whole day I was thinking over those who think they are meditating. My conclusion about their meditative state lies in this short story:…” (and then came your story, which I am not up to to repeat here).
I simply don´t know, Shantam Prem, what really happened inside of you when you were part of the Pune Ashram (editing departement?) around the end of the eighties, and for the time being. (Kavita here, whom you befriended at that time (?), may know a bit more?)
So I am just experiencing your writing as a most regular contributor in this UK/SN Chat since I joined the Chat and don´t follow your other activities in the WWWnet.
Never declared that I “know Osho´s teaching that good”´ here, but I guess I shared some of my life’s experiences since disappearing into such a mystery school around a mystical Master, that´s the best I can say right now.
I don´t see Osho as a teacher, but the mystery is for me that much ´teaching´ (if you want to use such a word as all!) is happening in my life.
I’M NOT YOUR “DEAR LADY”, Shantam Prem, and not following your amount of contempt or obsessions ( (i.e about how the Ashram should be run etc.), you´re offering here much more than less these years.
And/or/however…what is quite well known by now, also by others, is that we lot might not be laughing heartily about the same, same, and that I am often unable to share some kind of humour presented here.
Sincerely,
Madhu
If, my dear Shantam Prem, you know Osho teachings that good, please let me know when Osho has spoken about you one day becoming the Chairman of Osho International.
Swami Anand Anubodh,
If you tell me from which discourse this quotation is, I will try my honest best to answer your sarcastic question:
“I suggest my people to share thoughts about me by hiding their true identity and faces.”
It’s always easy to tell when you are cornered, SP, as you will try and deflect attention away by suggestions of “faceless” this and “faceless” that.
The only person in Sannyas who I cared whether they knew my face was Osho himself – and he knew it quite well.
So tell us, Shamtam Prem, did Osho ever know your face?
Osho knew your face and you are writing faceless.
Osho knew your face – does it mean he will be in the arrival lounge of Karma Airport to redeem you from the custom clearance and take you to your designated place in his car?
I reckon Osho would be quietly impressed with the changes that have been made to the ashram (maybe even a little miffed that he never had that foresight). And certainly not waving an angry finger at those responsible and yelling: “Why did you not listen to that fellow Shantam Prem! Someone I have never met!”
From my experience dealing with Bhagwan he was a disruptor, he wanted to bring uncertainty to one’s life and make you face reality. And opposite to the comfort, security and predictability that you so obviously crave.
Oh, btw,
There is no afterlife. So Osho will not be meeting anyone, or taking them anywhere.
Shantam, just to let you know, I remember SAA had posted his video (I somehow don’t need to find that video link) sometime back; wonder if you would consider that his id proof? For me, that was proof enough, or most probably you jumped that post of his.
I have quite a good memory but don´t remember any such video.
The great swami can still post the same or new.
Kav,
Since when did posters to SN have to verify their identities to Shantam Prem’s satisfaction? It’s not my fault he has never met Osho (but likes to act like he has).
Also, could you try and find that link to a video I have never posted. Unless, of course, you have ‘done a Swamishanti’ who wrongly accused Bong (sorry, The Enlightened Master Bong) of once being locked away.
Just think, Bong, if SS’s careless slander had been true, then you could’ve written your book in the ‘cooler’ for FREE!
Meeting Osho…
All the oldies on this site have met only Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.
And thanks God, no one is as bookish as this Indian/Nepali/Bangladesi/Hindu gentleman still using the fucking preface, ‘Swami’. After Bhagwan, ‘Swami’ seems to be the second ugliest word.
Shantam Prem,
Did you ever have the good fortune to meet Bhagwan Shree Rajnessh?
SAA, who am I to give any authority to anyone for id verification anyway?
Btw, I do remember seeing your video where you kind of gave discourse & you were bald with a beard; sorry, but don’t want to waste my energy on finding it.
If what I said about your appearance in that video is not true, maybe I had a dream about you !
MOD:
Kavita, WE THINK THAT WAS NOT THIS Anubodh!
Thanks for the comments, y`all.
I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
Maybe, at some point, I will bring things up to date, get into the power of now instead of the power of then, and have a crack at Eckhart Tolle versus Mooji.
I might take a little break now, as have things going on.
Cheers.
You already have ´things´going on , Frank,
however, I won´t spare you nor others here, to share , what direction my reasearch happened this morning , inspired by your abundant ´juicy´contribution and some others in a row , you already promised to present on the viral caravanserai table.
Some little wiki ( research-)quote :
“Stalemate is a situation in the game of chess where the player whose turn it is to move is not in check but has no legal move. The rules of chess provide that when stalemate occurs, the game ends as a draw (i.e. having no winner). During the endgame, stalemate is a resource that can enable the player with the inferior position to draw the game rather than lose. In more complex positions, stalemate is much rarer, usually taking the form of a swindle that succeeds only if the superior side is inattentive. Stalemate is also a common theme in endgame studies and other chess problems”
And MC LOKE: music , alghorysms ( and mathematics) and trance dance with a message do really mix and merge nowadays.
You compiled a love letter and you did it ´your way´.
Let´s see, what happens
Madhu