Rani’s Stay Half Way up the Mountain

Enlightenment, before, during and after
by Rani

Every seeker wants Enlightenment. Most people perceive that to be a state of ongoing bliss and oneness and believe that after that, life is easy and simple forever after, because of the eternal expansion into the beyond.

While it is true that there is something called “the enlightenment experience” which has all of these characteristics, the true enlightened life is something quite different. The bliss is not the emotional experience we can know through the ego. It is beyond that.

This truth is revealed overtime, bit-by-bit as we grow into who we are and loose our ego identity. Some parts of the learning are guaranteed, we have to first recognize who we are beyond our mind and body to the point that a shift of perspective, of context occurs, but then we have to crash and come down from the enlightenment high. We need the courage to admit that every experience wears off, even after a few years, that clarity can be lost again and that identification with the mind can come back. That nothing is permanent and that to reach higher peaks we need to pass through different valleys.

Failing is an essential part of the path. When we have spiritual success our ego grows side by side, when we fail, it is diminished and is ground down.

The Enlightenment experience is the end of the search but surely the beginning of the path. (Or as I often say, the search moves from the horizontal to the vertical dimension) Often it takes the loss of that experience, for us to be truly committed to the discipline of the spiritual life. We have seen paradise. We have tasted the natural state and now it is gone

What is left is that we are constantly confronted with our failing, our fears, clinging and despair.

We must open, and open deeper into the pain and fear, letting it cook us, break us and pulverize us, so we can truly disappear as a separate self.

When we do not have the proper understanding, the proper context, the valleys are very difficult to move through. What follows is my own experience of this process. May it be of help to other travelers on the path.

By the mid nineties my life looked like I had made it. At least on the outside. I lived in India in a very beautiful area outside of town. I was a respected member of the ashram that I was a part of. I loved the work I did as a therapist, the relationship I was in was wonderful, rewarding and fun. At least that was what I was telling myself. The house we had built up was splendid; we had several servants, cats, dogs, fishponds etc.

We lived the successful life of the neo sannyasin. Daily meditation was comfortable; I had come to settle in the comfort of knowing how to leave the mind behind and experience bliss. I had found a good refuge from pain. What more could I ask for?

I told myself I was fulfilled, denying the fact that I was always feeling inferior to my lover because I brought in a lot less money, denying that I felt deeply insecure about my capacities as a therapist and denying so many other little facts.

In fact denial had become my way of life and I can see in retrospect that I vaguely knew it always, but it was too threatening to admit it to myself. Compensation was an art that I had mastered since early childhood.

Then one day my lover left. The hole I fell in was profound; it was as if every time I fell into that hole it became deeper. Determined to finish with it once and for all (ego always thinks in terms of permanent elimination) I dove into it for about a year and did some intense therapy, until I rediscovered the Awareness intensive group. In this group you ask yourself the koan: “Who am I” from very early morning till late at night. The “results” were amazing.

For the next year I participated in each and every one of these 3 or 7-day groups. Usually it would take me 24 hours of struggling before I would pop into another dimension; the realm of oneness, clarity and peace. I got addicted to the highs, as they would lift me straight out of all my unresolved pain. I learned how to “do” it. Popping koans became my specialty.

For a while I would come down as soon as the group was over but then it started to happen that the highs would not go down anymore. The clarity would not leave me anymore and peace was more or less permanently present. In other words I had accumulated a lot of energy (shakti).

Now greater breakthroughs and greater revelations came. I was finally free from all my suffering!! I had found a way out!! I even remember now some thoughts that were immediately dismissed like: “Now I never have to worry about money anymore, I have what everyone wants”. “Now I never have to bother about sex and relating anymore cause I am beyond them”.

The ego was always lurking just by the side and in a way I knew it but I was too ignorant about the true mechanics of the mind to fully realize what that meant. I told myself that I was staying clear of ego because I was aware of it.

I looked in Osho’s words for a context to understand my precise situation but did not find much. May be I did not know how to formulate the question because I thought that I was already enlightened but I found nothing much that was truly helpful.

I felt very alone and thought that this is what he meant when he said that in the end you are alone and I decided to trust my experience. For a while I met with a woman who had declared herself enlightened and she helped me clear away some doubt. On top of it she gave me all the conformation I was looking for! (This is exactly what the mind wants: confirmation, and so unconsciously we look for someone who will give it to us)

However the most dominant experience was one of joy and peace. The shift was dramatic and profound. I wanted to share it immediately with whoever wanted to hear it. There was a very genuine and naive sense of wanting to help others out of their suffering. The intention was clean and innocent as far as I could see. Not knowing that as long as there is ego our intention is never 100% pure.

Someone later described people who declare their enlightenment prematurely as little girls who dress up in their mother’s clothes and wear high heels pretending they are adults. It was a bit like that, now that I look back. I felt like a kid with a bag of candy that I wanted to share.

And even though friends avoided me like the plague eventually people showed up who wanted to hear what I had to say. Many seekers today (Like I had been myself) want only one thing and that is to be lifted out of their pain with a shortcut, and shortcuts I had!

Of course they were in awe. I was generating a lot of cosmic energy; everyone in the room could feel it and whomever I talked to or looked at, shifted for some time into a state beyond the mind. I was blown away by it as well. I was loved and revered. I finally felt worthy of that love as well.

Pride started to slip in. After all this person that had been humiliated so often (me) had made it and was someone. I saw the pride but told myself that because I was seeing it, it did not matter. Everything was anyway all happening in the ONE and therefore temporary.

My fame grew fast, more and more people attended the satsangs and had great awakening experiences. They were the proof of my “rightness”. My ego swelled up again a little more.

From time to time the old insecurity knocked on my door but I would not open. I did not want to acknowledge that it was there. You have to understand the very delicate situation one is in.

You feel like you have transcended suffering, which had been the motive for the search all along. And then to realize that this is not true is not an easy feast. The ego will fight it. The soul has an imprint of ego protections that is centuries old. It does not give way that easily.

For many years on the path, all we want from the search is freedom from suffering. Only much later is our intention pure and clean enough for us to only want what is, howsoever painful or uncomfortable it may be.

So I felt very expanded because the awakening was strong and I could channel huge amounts of energy and did not really know that they were all passing through and were therefore colored by the ego. All the while my ego was expanding beyond its wildest fantasies, without me being very aware of it. It became more and more transparent and smart and spiritual, it told itself it is nobody and it is not there!!! And it succeeded very well at fooling even itself.

This ego is very smart. Because I kept sharing every pitfall I saw with my students, I thought that I was free of it. Not seeing that sharing was not enough for the ego to lay low. That it needs absolute dedication and willingness to stay vigilant at all times. That it needs the scalpel of the surgeon all the time!! The thing is through the sharing I believed that I was doing WAS being honest and vigilant. And to some extend of course that was also true.

The enlightenment experience is always a mixture of clear and honest intention and a power hungry ego. If we do not have an alive teacher at the time of awakening, we are in great trouble. We simply cannot travel alone at this point; precisely because we can hardly see the ego by ourselves.

My fame kept growing and tirelessly I traveled the planet, thinking I was doing something very good for humanity. Now I see that it was the old primal story all over again: I needed to help everyone who was in pain otherwise I had no right of existing.

Burn out came after two years. I had to stop. The body collapsed and I was shocked to find the first thing that arose when the doctor said I needed to rest was: “Who will love me now?”

In a way that was the beginning of the fall. Of course honest as I was, I shared all this with the students in satsang, showing how much ego is still accompanying this awakening experience. I shared my pain and errors and found to my amazement that not many wanted to hear the truth if it did not sound blissful.

Over the four years that I was teaching, I found that rarely someone wanted to hear the truth. Many people come to this type of satsang because they want to be told that there are shortcuts and often they want to adore someone. Not many want to hear about the painstaking work of purifying our minds and healing our pains.

In fact, in the neo satsangs as I have come to call them, the jokes about working on yourself are plenty full. The beauty as well as the difficulty of our time is that spiritual knowledge and secrets are available at the click of a mouse. All the scriptures are public. In the past this was not the case, information was given only in relation to the students/disciples advancing in practice and experience.

Now we do not have to practice meditation or doing any hard work in order to receive the teaching and so the danger is that we only absorb the teaching in a mental way. In the meantime I had moved into a relationship (after much initial protest from my side) and this provided another reality check. I was not as beyond as I thought I was. Learning to love and be loved provided and still provides endless lessons.

I took a year off and met with a lot of old childhood pain and present loneliness. First only my old friends had despised me but I had been welcomed with open arms into the neo satsang community, but now also the satsang community threw me out.

I was not supposed to feel pain and be honest about it. Finally though, I was being able to welcome it and feel it without further manipulation. I took some months in silence and started to feel again the need to meditate. (Of course in the years of being nobody there had been no one to meditate)Still all the while I still enjoyed mostly the bliss and peace of being at one.

Then the real hit came. My best friend and working partner was diagnosed with cancer. For some months we kept it up, saying that it was okay. That we felt no fear or pain, that dying was as good as living and that everything that comes must also go again. But then we cracked, both of us. I spent the last weeks at her side, nursing her at home until she died in my arms.

That split me right in two. There was simply so much pain. I was overwhelmed by it, consumed by it, helpless with it and bewildered by the fact that I was feeling all this again. My sharing became again more honest, I no longer pretended anything anymore or offered miracles and shortcuts. Of course people came less and less. Slowly I saw that what was left was a handful of sincere seekers whom I actually had not much more to offer than my friendship and limited wisdom and experience.

I realized that I was longing for guidance. I was looking left and right in old and new teachings until I found what I was looking for in my new teacher Aziz. His Zen hits were painful and not always welcomed but over time I understood more and received for the first time a map of reality that resonated with me.

My own master had been too wide, too rich for me to see a clear and practical path. He spoke about so many practices and left it to me what to choose. This had brought me were I was. I felt and feel a deep respect and gratitude for him but I needed more.

I needed personal guidance from an alive teacher. Now I found this very precise teaching that resonated in my soul as a reflection of reality. He guided me in my practice and taught me a complete new way of meditation. He also told me to stop teaching but I was afraid to stop. It was my only source of income

I believed that I needed the money, I needed the recognition and I needed somehow the position (more for myself than for others). But above all I needed to not let myself know that it was over. That I had had an amazing opening and enlightening experience. One that lasted for years even and that bit-by-bit it had slipped away.

Slowly I have come to understand that corruption lives in all of us and that it is not entirely possible to not be corrupt. After all we do most everything we do for ourselves. By keeping the meetings going I could still tell myself that it was not over. I could continue to dream a bit more and tell myself that it would pick up again. Or worse I would blame it on the low quality motivation of the seekers that it was not happening anymore.

But life is generous when the intention is honest. I prayed daily for truth and sincere prayers are always heard. I moved to the west, to the country I was born in, and found it extremely difficult to adjust to that culture after 16 years in India. There came a time where there was no more money. Friends and family needed to keep us afloat. Now I truly crashed. The entire shadow side of the personality appeared.

The ego had grown stronger, (it keeps growing side by side with our realizations. The more powerful we become the more powerful the ego also becomes.) The super ego came back with a vengeance. The self-torture and self-blame returned with the force of a tornado. The Shadow was here, presenting itself loud and clear. I thought that I had met my shadow a long time ago but never to this depth. Shadow exist in relation to light, the more light, the bigger the shadow I found out.

All of a sudden I was identified again with almost each and every single thought. I was emotional from morning till night, apart from the hours that I meditated. And meditate I did, and pray, and move my body to ward off the depression till it could not be warded off anymore. I was in hell and realized that the healing had to happen right here in hell.

The money was finished, I started to take a cleaning job and was ready to take any job still dreaming to some extend that after this all was over a new miracle would happen and I would be magically lifted out of here again. And life would be forever good. But truth does not live in the presence of hope.

Giving up our hopes is one of the many prices we have to pay for the priceless pearl. The ego screamed and screamed. It simply did not want to part with the glorious times. My entire life with all its undigested and denied pains came for another round. Thoughts of suicide were my companions.

Without the support of my partner and some dear friends, family and a good healer, it would all have been a lot more difficult. The love that I received was so supportive and healing. Nevertheless I was really lost and only partly grasped what was going on. I needed help.

One thing was clear, that there was no way out but only a way through, my only interest became to stay present in the pain and whatever emotion presented itself. I felt lower than I had ever been, and it started to glimpse that: to go down is to go up.

I was grateful that Aziz came to the west for another silent retreat!!. However, at the end of that one-week he announced that he was going to live in seclusion and would no longer be available as a guide and teacher! Once again on my own and not fully realizing what was happening I prayed for help.

My great luck was that a book fell into my lap called Half way up the mountain by Mariana Caplan. It brought all the missing pieces in the understanding. This book was about me. It was my story in detail. Here I read about each and every pitfall I had fallen into. It gave me a positive context and sufficient information about the process I was going through.

Reading that book was like being in retreat. It reminded me again and again that there was a healing power in this crisis. That is was what I wanted. My dignity was restored again when I started to understand that this is a mechanical response in the mind and not a personal failure or trip. My suffering became more dignified.

I learned that disillusionment is not only necessary on the path but a true gift of the Grace of God. It is like you are being weaned off the breast of God and allowed to walk. Of course you fall left and right like any toddler does but eventually you will find balance and walk. The fall from paradise seems in truth an integral part of the enlightenment process. In fact some teachers say that you have to earn it to deserve it.

When we realize that the path we are on is not at all what we thought it would be, and that reality is something completely different than all our illusions about it, we are shocked. This is not an easy transition to make. It is extremely painful and it feels like being skinned alive. And yet this pain magically opens us deeper to what and who we are.

Enlightenment comes to life when we embrace our endarkenment in the very same way. We realize deeply that our human reality will always be here, that pain will always be here, that suffering is an integral part of human life. Either we suffer unconsciously or we do it consciously. We realize that the freedom we thought we had found in the bliss and joy of the Enlightenment high is not the real freedom at all. It is much deeper. It is truly accepting what IS.

By the time I had finished reading the book the let go was complete. I closed down all teaching activities, cancelled my ticket to India and am ready for a new chapter in this adventure called life. This time it can happen right here where I am. And I truly do not know anything about where this is going.

No hope and no plan.

Om Shanti.

Rani

This article was originally posted on the Italian Site Innernet.  Sannyas News became aware of it from a posting on a Chat Board by Sw. Gagan

This entry was posted in Discussion, Meditation/Spiritual. Bookmark the permalink.

89 Responses to Rani’s Stay Half Way up the Mountain

  1. prem martyn says:

    Well i read through it all twice,,
    and it made more sense backwards…

    not a single joke in it… but it made laugh…

    Good old Rani from the Humanoisity… it’s such a surprise that her life was filled with ego less full not am isms, I mean the insanniversity doesn’t encourage that sort of thing at all….er does it….?????

    Isn’t life great when after billenia it can still make us all so different… thank jesus h christ because if my attainment looks anything like hers does , then you all have my permission to call a vet and administer some fast acting horse medicine to stop the bucking broncos….

  2. shantam prem says:

    As I remember, years ago this article was published at sannyasnews. I am sure it is a recycled.

  3. prem martyn says:

    Er yes I read it years ago too….. although SN wasn’t so environmentally aware then, but now they recycle everything, including our inner circle of 7 opini-onions here…. just going round and round…in fact I’m sure I was a washing machine in my last life….

    Anyway all I’m left with when I read of this Rani chap-ess, is someone who could help me a lot in my life dilemma’s…
    which in order of importance are :

    my age now coming a long long way before beauty… and it also often crosses the road to avoid me…just so I get the message..

    my inner beauty is now limited to

    making coffee for my tantric bed mate, without much prospect of tantra, but with her desire for more coffee especially in the mornings…. she read the book on Sufi coffee drinking origins by mistake…

    Am wondering why after millenia of evolution in procreation, my age determines that my closest regular sex partner is at the end of my wrist… will it evolve into a flying wristosoreus rex in time and have a life of its own as sometimes i worry in case it will suddenly fly off after vigorous application, and leave me, like all my sex partners , pining for the fjords alone.

    and finally I wonder does being grateful to existence involve having a clue or caring less about the dissolved energised self as a hobby to match my interest in girl’s tattoos ?

    Please drop Rani a line as I know many like her are heading for my old home in Eressos and she could leave a message under the mat there.

    Ommm Hanky Panky

  4. frank says:

    yes.its a recycled story.
    it did raise a chuckle tho`.
    i ran into rani and her circus in pune.
    as i remember…. one of her close disciples was trying to impress upon me about how he was in touch with the same energy as rani, and as such,he could “give me an experience of the no-mind”
    … i told him straight that to me,he was a deluded fantasist and so was his guru and his aim wasnt spiritual at all,he just wanted power over people and to pull chicks 25 years younger than himself…
    he lost his rag and had to struggle hard not to thump me(he said)
    and left shouting and slammed my door.
    the next time i saw him he had collected a small coterie of his own female disciples…
    i dont know what he thinks about rani`s recanting.
    probably thinks its a “device”…that handy old stalwart of denying anything that doesnt fit with your convictions so beloved of enlightenment-lickers,satsang junkies and white-light-nosers..

    i`m not at all surprised that “top sannyasin therapists” are going bonkers and having psychotic episodes.in fact i`d be more surprised that it doesnt happen more often.
    that`s what happens when you insist on identifying with one favoured image of yourself,and having a bunch of people with an investment of supporting you in it……you split off and marginalise the rest of yourself , and pooooof, you go schizo.
    haven`t these guys read “the idiots guide to psychology”?

    the enlightened people i have met,all in all, are below average on the sanity front.
    and look at the sanity record of the “close” disciples of osho.
    and only one of them ever got a diagnosis,and that was after her death.
    what a sordid tawdry business it all is……..

    • frank says:

      “half-way up the mountain” ?
      that`s a very self-aggrandizing expression for
      being such a good con-artist that you manage to fool yourself!
      halfway up your own ass,more like.

      • frank says:

        and what about osho himself?
        being attacked by black magicians who were trying to kill him but could never be found?
        is that your benchmark of sanity?
        well,if it is, and you become a therapist/preacher on his behalf,you can`t really complain when you find yourself in a nuthouse strapped to a bed,with a drip in your arm and electrodes on your head,
        can you?

        • prem martyn says:

          Frank .. I’ll have you know that I am actually fully up a mountain….and have the photos to boot…

          And Rani is mates with the day tripper mala and name giving holy dynamic primalista duet.. Svarup and Premartha ….Sannyas’s white caped crusaders who have all the charismatic egalitarian intimacy of a large bottle of diuretic pills….

      • Ashok says:

        Frank says, ‘halfway up your own ass, more like’. Yes Frank – I quite agree. In fact, thinking about it, I am tempted to go a bit further ie right up it, to its fullest extent, which is infinite. I will however, try to be civil and describe Rani in another way: a poor, naive, deluded, silly, bourgeois, pretentious, ungrounded little ego that probably believes in fairy stories too. I wish her well whoever she is -maybe somebody should try offering her some kind of help? (Prob’ly too late!)
        I read elsewhere that Prem Shantam had described the article as ‘wonderful’! If I had been in any doubt as to why he gets so much stick from just about everybody else on this site, then all I can say is that he has shown here that he is fully deserving of all the punishment he gets and in fact – I don’t think he is getting enough!

  5. shantam prem says:

    I wonder, what prompted Editors to recycle this old story? Why not email Rani to ask her to share the years and life after this wonderful article.

    • frank says:

      you can bet your bottom dollar she aint doing any bog cleaning these days.
      a penny to a pound says she has gone back into the business of laundering her soul and advaitising her new-improved osho detergent.

      ” new osho therapowder:
      tackles embarrassing premature enlightenment stains.
      and removes even the most stubborn traces of spiritual ego..”

      “surveys show that 4 out of 5 seekers cant tell the difference enlightenment and horse shit”

      “every one`s a fruit and nut case”

  6. Kavita says:

    Actually iam wondering if she is still cleaning ? as the Zen saying goes “Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water.”

  7. prem martyn says:

    And let us not forget some of us here are specialists in the field of unbidden energy events, transcendent car park spaces, awakenings and snorings, tutti frutti spirituality, comic cosmicness, and the odd ,sometimes very odd heart revolving in is-out-i- in conundrums, that would take a good beating to explain…
    but if SN would care to promote literature from the old and earnest with a few bob to a favourite charity then I might get the old quill out and reminisce….some events being fresh in the body-never-mind-memory.
    Ps
    Yesterday was a scorching summer day with us sunbathing outside the village pool and today its snowing like Xmas ….

    And that’s not only funny but weird too…

    out for a jaunt now.. see ya

  8. Lokesh says:

    I got about halfway through the story and then decided to see if there are any new hot toons on Soundcloud.
    For someone who is into koans Rani’s road to enlightenments sounds somewhat…ehm…I’m not very sure…maybe boring might sum it up best. This same old hullaballoo about no-mind etc. It is a wee bit twee for me. I prefer creative folks to hang with…as opposed to enlightenment seekers on the road to… I haven’t a clue.

  9. Arpana says:

    [The Enlightenment Intensive group are present. One group member says: I am understanding more and more things, but every time I understand something, it doesn't do any good. I don't understand what point understanding has.]

    Osho Says

    First thing to be understood is that understanding is not a static thing… it is a dynamic energy. People think in terms of understanding being a static thing – that once you have attained it, you have attained for always. Understanding is not like that. It is a constantly flowing river. It is not that you attain it once and forever and then you are finished with it; then there is no need to worry about it, and whenever you want to use it you can, because it is always there. No. It has to be attained every moment again and again. It is just like breathing.

    It is not that you have taken one breath, so now there is no need to breathe again. You have to breathe again and again every moment. It is a life-process – a process, not a thing. Understanding cannot be possessed. You have to create it every moment – it is a creative process. So this happens in a group – you attain to some insight, and then you are very happy that you have understood, mm? Then you go into the market, and again you have lost it, again you are miserable. If you really want to be a man of understanding, you have to go on creating it continuously – otherwise it will be a dead thing.

    [The sannyasin says: It seems like I keep getting the message, but I don't see it clearly.]

    That’s what understanding means – to see clearly, (a chuckle) whatsoever is the message. If you feel that you need not understand each moment – perfectly good. Who else should decide it? Then this is your understanding – that sometimes you need it, and sometimes you don’t. It is your understanding that there are moments that it becomes heavy on you – then no need to be heavy; put it aside. There are moments when you want to be foolish – be foolish. But what I am saying is that if you become foolish because of the understanding that wisdom becomes a burden for you, then you are following understanding. Understand me? Understanding continues. Now you are understandingly foolish, now you are understandingly on a holiday. Now you know that understanding becomes a tension, so you go into the marketplace and you get lost but this is your understanding. Understanding is such a vast phenomenon that it can comprehend its opposite. So there is no problem. But if you enjoy problems, you can create them. And I am not condemning it – that there is something wrong. I am the last person to condemn anything.

    [The sannyasin says: I get the feeling that I use my understanding to hold on to things.]

    It is not in fact understanding. What you are doing is, you are afraid of the unknown – so you want it to be made, reduced, known. If you encounter anything that you feel is unknown, you feel insecure with it, afraid, scared. You want to figure it out so that it becomes familiar. Once it is familiar and known, you are not worried – then you can tackle it. You want to categorise, label things… this is this and that is that, mm? Once you have labelled things you are at home. You feel now there is no danger, no stranger. You know everybody’s name, everybody’s religion, everybody’s country – finished! You have a complete file. But this file is not reality. And if you know somebody’s name, that does not mean that you know him. If you know somebody’s religion and country, that does not mean that you know him. You may know that he is English, speaks English… is a doctor, or this and that – but this is not knowing him.

    In fact this is trying to avoid the unknown in that person. You are creating a front from where you can relate. You don’t want to relate to a man who is unknown, so you call him a doctor or an engineer. Now it is manageable… you know what an engineer is. But a man… nobody knows what a man is.

    This is not understanding. In fact this is a trick of the fear. Whenever he comes across a man who says that he is an Englishman, is a doctor, that his name is this and that, that he is a Christian or whatever, a man of understanding will put aside all these labels. Labels are useless. How can a man be labelled? And how can reality be confined to words? It is so vast… so immense. So you put aside all the labels, and you look inside the man. You forget that he is English, you forget that he is German; you forget that he is a doctor or an engineer. You simply look into the reality of that which is there. You look into the fact… and that penetration into the fact is understanding. And that will never burden you – because to come to such a contact with a person is a non-ending contact. The person will always remain new.

    Reality is so vast, so multifaceted, that the more you know, the more remains to be known. Understanding is non-ending. It is not knowledge. Knowledge is limited, of the mind. Understanding is of the heart. Then you feel the reality… you touch the reality. You forget all words about it, all theories. Then you are never burdened. You cannot say that now I have it in my hands like an alive thing, crystal-clear. No. Lao Tzu says that ‘Everybody seems to be clear. Only I am muddle-headed’. A man of understanding is muddle-headed because he looks so deeply that he cannot figure out, mm? People always manage to find out immediately who is who. Otherwise everybody is such a strange phenomenon – how can you figure it out?

    So live according to your own feelings. And sometimes if you feel that understanding…. I have not known that understanding can become a burden – knowledge becomes a burden… so you must be misunderstanding somewhere. But if this is your understanding I say perfectly good, mm? Follow your understanding.

    Osho.
    Nothing to lose but your Head
    Darshan Diary.
    Thursday. March 11. 1976

  10. bodhi vartan says:

    Osho said that many of the people round him were not there for him but were there to learn how to be masters themselves. Rani must have been one of the latter ones.

    Osho was a great master but he wasn’t any good at enlightening people during his lifetime. The enlightened sannyasins will come later, when most of us thickheads have gone bye-byes.

    • prem martyn says:

      bet you the Arctic will melt first and have more impact on all life than all the transcendent wisdom that shines out of our combined orifices…

    • bodhi vartan says:

      I am not sure how Rani’s article came to be written … the recent interview below is obviously promoting a book (nothing wrong with that). The interviewer likes his own voice. Average Osho content.

      Anatta Campbell – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

      The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.

  11. shantam prem says:

    Frank is raising questions about Osho what to say about Rani…and he is the man who was spending years of his productive life in Pune. I wonder how he was financing this?
    People who invest in the Ponzi schemes are equally guilty. Law needs to make a provision to offer some prison sentence to those too, who of their greed invest in such schemes…and then cry, ” Mama Mama, the dude is beating me.”

  12. shantam prem says:

    Just remembered a sannyasin from Pune days. She has titled herself, ” Radical Zen Master” and is quite active in the work. May be she has gone full way to the mountain.
    I am curious to know, whether she has started shaving her legs or not, during days of Pune apprenticeship she was hardly walking with proper robe.

  13. prem martyn says:

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388032_180016388819865_187348782_n.jpg

    HAVE YOU GOT THAT NOW ?
    ps
    << (SAY THE PHOTO QUOTE WITH A LOUD IAN PAISLEY NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT TO MAKE IT SOUND CONVINCINGLY DEFINITIVE )
    pps I used to visit Ballymena there regularly and you wouldn't wanna mess with the Osho Protestant BallyMena Marching Band , yous wed noit so too, ye wedn't.

    • bodhi vartan says:

      prem martyn says:
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388032_180016388819865_187348782_n.jpg

      HAVE YOU GOT THAT NOW ?

      Not really. You forgot the meat. If there was a question, the answer would be in the flesh.

      • prem martyn says:

        Bv

        Sin in original biblical hebrew was apparently the word for ‘missing the mark’, a term adopted from archery.

        I’m a great fan of the Shaolin monks who by the way are all lifelong vegans.As I understand the Zen people are too.

        I got my transcendent kicks though from sufi Zahira, who now runs a yearly march camp in NZ. The way the Sufi stuff worked was on many levels, and was great fun too. Sw.Videha runs the Kirgistan camp and is a fan of Zen , although a sufi initiate. His vids on you tube, nice venue in yurts.

        Not all Arabs are meat eaters, there are even very muslim vegetarian samosa, puri, chaat, bakers wallahs in London’s Euston area, near the Dosa cafe palaces there.

        see here one who like me was famous in his middle ages for enjoying making a ruckus in public..

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Ma%CA%BFarri

        As for ‘who is in’ that commune Zen retreat was/is also fantastic for hitting the mark… internal archery.

        One day who knows I might take up the old roads again, shorn of the overarching irrelevances of those who would miserably harm and eat the dead, and thus miss the mark entirely …utterly un-Zen veggy style.

        Must dash as I’m trying to get the Geneva veggie pride thing on radio documentary here in swaziland…

        ttfn

      • prem martyn says:

        BV
        Flesh incarnate of the spirit ?

        I refer you to Khajurahan tantric practises of licking but not swallowing.

        • bodhi vartan says:

          prem martyn says:
          > Sin in original biblical hebrew was apparently the word for ‘missing the mark’, a term adopted from archery.

          Who brought the word sin into the equation? The kind of archery I like is the one where you shoot the arrow first and then paint the target round it … (remember? it’s a story Osho often repeated)

          The meat I was referring to above was the kind we live in and not the kind we eat. The fact that animals have to eat each other in order to live is just as weird to me as the fact that they (we) come out of each other. The enlightened state may be described as, a freedom from the flesh. Never born, and all that … (probably?) There is definitely more to meat (and its shenanigans) than meets the eye.

          > sufi Zahira

          Very sweet. “Absurdistan”… hehe

          > Sw.Videha runs the Kirgistan camp and is a fan of Zen , although a sufi initiate. His vids on you tube, nice venue in yurts.

          “Sufi Zen” … as soon as I can get my brain round it I will probably dig it. A lot of spinning going on … probably into dendrite growth.

          Gorgeous paintings too. Very inspiring. He looks like a cool dude.

          The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.

          >> Abul ?Ala Al-Ma?arri

          A cool dude too, way ahead of his time. (Where do you find them? You must have a crowd inside.)

          As far as licking but not swallowing … did you hear the one about the guy who didn’t swallow his viagra?

          He got a stiff neck.

          • prem martyn says:

            BV

            we are all archers and bow men, not sinners, therefore, as the church would like to have it, due to a simple error of translation.

            I rarely write linearly, preferring the jigsaw approach, so if i ever look like I’m answering anything you say, its purely coinci-dental and only useful for your own happy ruminations or cud chewing.

            I’m helping you pass my time for others to enjoy…

            • bodhi vartan says:

              prem martyn says:
              > I’m helping you pass my time for others to enjoy…

              Let me put that through my enigma machine: Helping me … others to enjoy … you passing time … passing something alright …

  14. SCIFI says:

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? NoTing … NoTing @ all … NoTing @ all … @ all …

  15. shantam prem says:

    Do spirituality means meditation and prayer, listening or reading holy sermons?
    Is it also mean Ayurvedic massage and Tantra, Yoga and Aura Soma necessary tools for the inner seeker?
    So much action is happening around the world. Somehow humanity as whole gets united for the common grief, but I don´t see spiritual groups standing up for the common causes which are fundamental for the evolution of consciousness.

    Neo age spirituality has gone more or less cut off from the grass roots of life. Seems like people who need Prozac have gone into the spiritual trading.

  16. Lokesh says:

    Shantam speaks about ‘evolution of consciousness’. I’m curious to hear what exactly Shantam believes that to mean., I’m also pretty certain he won’t because he does not know what he is talking about.

    • bodhi vartan says:

      > ‘evolution of consciousness’. I’m curious to hear what exactly Shantam believes that to mean.

      It’s probably a simple case of now you see and now you don’t … or now you don’t and now you do … no peeking, and no peek-a-boo.

  17. shantam prem says:

    This is evolution of consciousness that in this little media, Shantam is the passionate one who brings the maximum wood for the continuous of fire.
    I am raising the questions, you are answering in response or reaction, is it not an evolution, Lokeshji!
    About doing something, truthfully speaking Satya Deva, I have not found any social cause worth living and standing for in Germany, where I can pour my time and physical energy.
    For this reason, unorganised India was more fitted with my temperament. There too, I have become Sans Papiers. Natural outcome, when one puts all the eggs in one basket!

    • satyadeva says:

      Shantam:
      About doing something, truthfully speaking Satya Deva, I have not found any social cause worth living and standing for in Germany, where I can pour my time and physical energy.

      SD:
      So you’re really just another Prozac-swallowing, pseudo-spiritual onanist then, Shantam?

      You know, another Pot blackening the reputation of all the Kettles….

    • Lokesh says:

      How can consciousness evolve, Shantam? What you are saying implies that consciousness is not enough unto itself, that it has to be better than it already is, which is pure nonsense. Surely it is evolution’s job to create or bring consciousness. Once it is there, evolution stops.
      That’s the problem with people like you, Shantam. Going around broadcasting about the evolution of consciousness sounds like it really means something, when in reality it means nothing. Some ignorant people (ignorant in the sense that they don’t know about such things but like the sound of it) will inevitably get roped into your circus and thus we end up with the blind leading the blind. It becomes a problem when people start to really believe in this kind of bullshit and get self-righteous about it.
      In my own experience I find it’s better to speak from your own understanding, not someone else’s or something you read in a book. That way there is much less chance of misguiding people. It is foolish to speak about things as if you know what you are talking about when you don’t. You look foolish because sooner or later someone shows up who sees your game for what it is and then exposes you, because that is what needs to be done. I’m sorry, Shantam, I have to say that you appear to me like a complete fool just now. Wake up, man. Stop deceiving yourself, you don’t know what yu are talking about. Evolution of consciousness my arse.

  18. shantam prem says:

    SD, I am not blacking the reputations of all the Kettles.
    I am just honest, a rare commodity in the world of Neo age spiritual scene..

    • satyadeva says:

      No, Shantam, you’re sitting on your backside criticising others for the same things you get up to (or rather don’t get up to!).

      Perhaps, as I said, you’d care to include yourself in the ranks of Prozac-swallowing, pseudo-spiritual onanists?

      Another aspect of this is that there are many people out there in a considerable plight who are working hard to overcome their suffering, and such people are naturally drawn to New Age, therapeutic and other spiritual areas. Burdening them further with heavy condemnation is not exactly the brightest or most compassionate response, is it?

      So your contribution here is both that of a hypocrite who doesn’t practise what he preaches (although fair enough, at least you admit it) and also of a rather heartless nature.

      Why don’t you give up being a mere commentator, which is essentially just wasting your time, isn’t it, as it never actually leads to any action??

    • Lokesh says:

      Shantam, you are such a good foil. You say, ‘I am just honest, a rare commodity in the world of Neo age spiritual scene.’
      I don’t doubt that you believe yourself to be honest, but I do doubt that you are aware of how limited your version of honesty is. You obviously judge your brand of honesty to be something special. Why else say, ‘a rare commodity in the world of Neo age spiritual scene.’? The truth is that your kind of honesty is not a rare commodity, but rather everyday honesty practised by most semi-decent people. You hold your honesty up as if it were some beacon of light in a world of darkness, an uncommon virtue to be exalted. To think that your honesty should be glorified in any way is pure folly. The reason for this is that you are operating from a very limited perspective, which is almost entirely lacking in truthfullness. It is my opinion that for a man to speak of such fancy ideas as evolution of consciousness and then deliver a piece of hype about what an honest man you are only signals to me that the only thing that seems to be evolving in you is unconsciousness.
      Gurdieff talked much about how one must work to go beyond self-imaging. Have no doubts we are all at it to a lesser or greater degree. Your level of self-imaging is pretty basic. For instance, you carry an image of yourself as being an honest man. It might be a good idea for you to drop that clanger. First of all it is something you don’t need and secondly, when it all boils down, it is not really true.

  19. shantam prem says:

    Who does not suffer in life?
    Onus of accountability does not lie on the sufferers but on the service providers. If I criticize it is the mind set prevailing in the spiritual sector and not some person/s.
    How so ever non glamorous it may sound, when the ass really gets chilly inside, it is neither the new age therapy on the side nor the high school passed spiritual sooth Sayers.
    Just the other day, one high profile therapist has gone in the whirlwind of mysterious sickness; I am not sure, any of his therapy or of his colleagues work or some Guru´s blessings will come to help. The work will be done by the normal docs..
    In India, famous Yoga Guru and propagator of Ayurveda products, who abuses MNC´s for cheating and looting India went for hunger strike. After the period of 7 days, he was not shifted into his Ayurveda hospital but in a normal one for the dip!
    When all the sectors of human world have to bear some accountability, transparency and quality control, it is the need of time to bring Spirituality and other marketable products and their providers into the radius of some accountability.
    But quite often providers and receivers in this sector are as needy and horny as……..!

  20. shantam prem says:

    Any way SD, if you see only a critical commentator in my words and not loving and compassionate person, I would suggest you to change your living master.
    I can offer my services…and if your mind laughs sarcastically over my idea, watch your ego!

    • satyadeva says:

      I see, Shantam, your damning contemporary fellow -’seekers’ as ‘Prozac-swallowers’, rather than the socio-political activists they ‘should’ be, is out of loving compassion, not ignorance (or sheer stupidity). Thanks for putting me right on that one.

      Rather than changing my living Master (whoever that might happen to be), I suggest you change how and what you write, unless you want to be continually – and terribly unjustly – mistaken for a complete and utter self-deluding fraud, with no right to give advice to anyone.

      You as my teacher, eh?! Only as an example of unconsciousness: what not to think, what not to say, what not to believe about oneself.

      As that, you’re without a peer, of course.

  21. shantam prem says:

    I hope SD, you don´t take my being master comment literally, but as literary liberty. I have no master´s degree not even 11 days Reiki master´s degree!

  22. shantam prem says:

    Around three years ago, I was trying Citalopram. I think such tablets are modern version of Bhang!
    Inner work has their own myths. One will always be cheerful, love will radiate from Aura and it will attract more love, existence will put you in the list of Spiritual Royals etc. etc.
    Common sense says, those who go deeper in the Ocean have chances of drowning more than the people who go deeper in their bath tub.
    Therefore, I don´t think it is an insult to one´s own journey, if there is a need of Prozac and co.
    From the net-Citalopram and Fluoxetine (Prozac) are both members of a class of drugs known as SSRI’s or Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors which are designed to treat clinically diagnosed depression. Contrary to popular belief, clinical depression is not a state of mind but rather a physiological imbalance in the brain’s synapses caused by excess stress, usually over a protracted period. Stress can be caused by a number of different factors including sadness, hopelessness, loss of control, etc. When these factors continue for an extended period or in combination, it can cause Seratonin to diminish within the synaptic space in brain neurons. This in turn can reduce the levels of noradrenaline and other hormones designed to assist normal brain function thus causing “depression”. The SSRI’s are the most modern of antidepressants and generally have the effect of blocking certain Seratonin receptors, thereby increasing the amount of Seratonin available within the neuronal synapseund.

  23. prem martyn says:

    try dark chocolate….
    and vitamin b6 high dose in combination with multi vits.

    my gf is a vegan chocoholic– being that she is swiss and its part of the abnormal survival conditioning required to survive on a diet of endless panoramas and yodelling. She firmly believes in the chocolate trees of the high Alps, which is testimony to how much simple fantasy can improve a bad day. I think it also has b vits in it… but she usually eats it so fast, there’s never any left to find out.

    I’m off to collect some now.. along the Gruyere laden paths of the Canton of Toblerone……
    yodellayy heed doooooo

  24. SCIFI says:

    And then I saw a man in terrible suffering, hung by one leg, head downward, to a high tree. And I heard the voice: —
    “Look! This is a man who saw Truth. Suffering awaits the man on earth, who finds the way to eternity and to the understanding of the Endless.
    “He is still a man, but he already knows much of what is inaccessible even to Gods. And the incommensurableness of the small and the great in his soul constitutes his pain and his golgotha.
    “In his own soul appears the gallows on which he hangs in suffering, feeling that he is indeed inverted.
    “He chose this way himself.
    “For this he went over a long road from trial to trial, from initiation to initiation, through failures and falls.
    “And now he has found Truth and knows himself.
    “He knows that it is he who stands before an altar with magic symbols, and reaches from earth to heaven; that he also walks on a dusty road under a scorching sun to a precipice where a crocodile awaits him; that he dwells with his mate in paradise under the shadow of a blessing genius; that he is chained to a black cube under the shadow of deceit; that he stands as a victor for a moment in an illusionary chariot drawn by sphinxes; and that with a lantern in bright sunshine, he seeks for Truth in a desert.
    “Now he has found Her.”
    Card XII : The Hanged Man

  25. Lokesh says:

    Yes, but look what happens to someone like SCIFI when he stops taking his meds.

  26. shantam prem says:

    Get together lovingly and reverently 30, 40 Awakened people in a Swiss Pharma lab. Wire them for series of tests. Sell the results to Novartis and Roche; and who knows within next 20, 25 years some substance is available in the market for the last kick!
    What can be the side effects- Lack of sleep, Narcissism

    • Lokesh says:

      Narcissim? For once, Shatam, you are speaking from experience. As in some narcissistic traits, high levels of narcissism can manifest themselves in a pathological form as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), whereby the patient overestimates his or her abilities and has an excessive need for admiration and affirmation.

  27. prem martyn says:

    I’ve taken low dose spiritual identity tablets for more than thirty years and it hasn’t done me any harmmmmmmmm…mane padme harmmmmmmm

  28. prem martyn says:

    there’s only one thing people like sci fi understand…
    ‘string ‘em up’
    er , Scotty…..

  29. shantam prem says:

    Death is a fiction, Mind is an illusion….
    Does it means everything else is Real?
    Looks like…
    General attitude is -
    That which is not in my control is imaginary, unreal, fictional, illusory…that which I can control is real and meaningful!

  30. shantam prem says:

    At facebook, have just seen the photos of Rajneesh in ICU.
    He had got heart attack two weeks ago. Now recovering.
    Related note was about curative surgery and huge bill and a call to the friends to contribute. 48,000 USD is not a small amount for the group of any seekers.
    I hope his friends and sympathisers will come forward.
    A friend in need is a friend in deed!

  31. shantam prem says:

    Yes, this is the same Mr. Rajneesh…
    In India, it is said, ” Don´t ask for Saints past, their caste or creed.”
    They come from story books, tell the stories and one day disappear in the vast Satori !

  32. Lokesh says:

    He tried to sell me a fake Rolex in LA. Doesn’t sound like a billionaire’s son’s behaviour. But then again….

    • bodhi vartan says:

      He is/was supposed to be some sort of watch designer but I have never seen any of his designs/watches … and dealing in fakes is particularly a no-no. That put me right off. And I liked the guy.

      • Lokesh says:

        I was quite surprised by his appearance. He looked like a seventies version Osho clone replete with tea towel draped over his right arm. He also had quite a tangible presence about him.
        I know that he pops into SN from time to time to check if he gets a mention. I’ve been told he is vain.

  33. Kavita says:

    I like Swami Rajneesh , for his sheer guts , i dont find him like Osho at all , infact looks wise he is more like an indian actor Amol Palekar !

    anyway I wish him health , only I am not in a position to help financially .

    • satyadeva says:

      Perhaps then, Kavita, you too believe the only way to ‘enlightenment’ is through dancing?

      But can’t you see his clothes, walk and gestures are ‘pure Osho’?!

      • Kavita says:

        No dear,in fact I don’t see any single way to enlightenment .

        Sw.OR is not even 0.001 of Osho , I have only seen Osho’s videos , you guys , who have seen Osho in his physicality , are a better judge perhaps .

        • satyadeva says:

          Well, Kavita, Mr OR has declared that dancing is ‘the way’, nothing else is needed. Which well qualifies him as a complete and utter fool, especially so for westerners (and increasing numbers of easterners these days). (And please don’t try to tell me that ‘it depends how you define dancing’!!).

          Are you blind? Can’t you see how he’s modelled himself on Osho, including the way he talks, not just his appearance?

          You say you “like him for his sheer guts”? Do you really think so blatantly appearing as an Osho clone is a sign of “guts”?!

          Where’s your discrimination, woman?

          • Kavita says:

            Look SD , anyone / Mr OR can say what they need to . PLEASE Iam not interested in promoting Mr. OR / anyone for that matter.

            As for ”Are you blind? Can’t you see how he’s modelled himself on Osho, including the way he talks, not just his appearance?”

            Actually most of the Poona -1 folks think like you do , as for me I don’t have a problem with his gestures /appearance .

            Infact he (Mr .OR) is such a contrast to Osho , btw regarding his following , yes I agree there are more easterners , but does that mean only westerners qualify to be seekers ?

            • satyadeva says:

              No, Kavita, it simply means that his brand of teaching is pretty well completely unsuited to westerners – except, I suppose, ‘absolute beginners’ and the deluded.

              You do realise that east and west are radically different mentalities, I trust?

              • bodhi vartan says:

                satyadeva says:
                >> You do realise that east and west are radically different mentalities, I trust?

                I don’t see it as and east/west (I appreciate the east refers the eastern-europe rather than the east-east) issue. It’s more a case of timing.

                In the west, the next generation (after the sannyasins) will never do what their parents did (but surprise-surprise the generation after that, the grandchildren will).

                Whereas in eastern europe sannyas is a first generation event …

                • satyadeva says:

                  Actually, Vartan, at that point I was referring to East-West mentalities, not eastern/western Europe.

                  Otherwise, yes, I agree re ‘first generation’ eastern Europeans.

                  But not at all as sure as you re our grandchildren, who’ll inherit an even more crisis-ridden, chaotic world than exists now. Still, you may well be right….

              • Kavita says:

                ”No, Kavita, it simply means that his brand of teaching is pretty well completely unsuited to westerners – except, I suppose, ‘absolute beginners’ and the deluded.

                You do realise that east and west are radically different mentalities, I trust? ”

                ofcourse SD , the east & west have different mentalities but that doesn’t mean westerners / easterners follow a definite pattern .

              • bodhi vartan says:

                satyadeva says:
                >> it simply means that his brand of teaching is pretty well completely unsuited to westerners – except, I suppose, ‘absolute beginners’ and the deluded.

                I would very much be interested to hear what kind of teaching would be suitable for the westerners. All I see is a zeitgeist, hovering between health and sport.

                • satyadeva says:

                  That’s probably why there have been so many therapeutic activities in sannyas, participated in largely by westerners rather than easterners, because westerners have been screwed up by intellectual materialism.

                  There are enough western teachers these days, so you could quite easily investigate this yourself. That’s if you’re truly “very much interested”, of course.

                • bodhi vartan says:

                  I found the ‘therapy’ side of sannyas quite fascinating. I view it more as emotional entertainment rather than clinical approach and easterners are not yet ready to play with their emotions.

                  As I’ve been away from the playground for a few years, I went out and did a round of the alternative bookshops (last week) and I have a bagful of mags to sift through and survey the environment. Without even looking I noticed that yoga seems to be very popular, and fifty shades of gray … maybe we could tie people up into yoga positions. We could call it Push-Yoga.

            • prem martyn says:

              That bloke with the towel ….

              We should offer him the highest quality medical care from famous real doctors only… Perhaps George Cloney from ‘O.R’, …him… or Doctor House .. as they could then pretend to diagnose his condition according to a well rehearsed script, complete with costumes and sets for added effect.

              This blog is such a wack of those who love all that sannyas represented that they went off putting other gurus, guruesses, on uncriticizeable pedestals, or even having no further use for pedestals a la Frank, but meantime reserving all the evisceration of sins for Osho and sannyas.

              If only people did that to Moocowji or Amma or Papaji, or a bloke in Costa Rica or some geezer in a rented Quaker building in North London, or anyone else mentioned here as much as we have done it with Osh.

              To be fair we do it to our very own ‘version’ of Osh because somewhere some of us learnt it makes more sense to be able to do that, after what we went through, than to look for a replacement where the shit doesn’t stick and smells of frigging incense or aura soma bottles of lather, complete with silent reverence rooms full of jerk offs.

              Truth is , you can do it any way you like, but the thing is , the party will never be the same again. Osh was a marvel and utterly fffing brill at the game. I learnt because of and in spite of him…full on in all directions with all pistons blaring.. I have never sought a replacement of inspiration, and we were fffing lucky to have been around that nut house , whilst recognising it for the nut house that it is and was.

              the rest of these realizers sure have loads to offer , but I reckon my grave will have some raucous laughter hanging over it in memory of that anarchic talent Osh had for complete bastard mirthful mischief which was right up my alley if you knew to avoid the other stuff that has stupidly taken sannyas by the balls as sellable therapeutic holy smoly crap.

              • bodhi vartan says:

                prem martyn says:
                >> I learnt because of and in spite of him…full on in all directions with all pistons blaring.. I have never sought a replacement of inspiration, and we were fffing lucky to have been around that nut house , whilst recognising it for the nut house that it is and was.

                It can’t be put better. As far as seekers go, we were probably the luckiest. Hell, we still are!

          • prem martyn says:

            Apparently I am a clone of my own higher beingness, which has been thus adapted for unawareness sentry duty and earthly manoeuvres whilst conscripted into the role of Colonel Mortal Coil of the Queen’s Own Oshodiers

            toodle pip

    • Lokesh says:

      Kavita obviously has a soft spot for Brian. Can’t say I’m surprised. The hussy! Next thing she will be moving from superconsciousness to sex. No doubt her interpretation of Osho’ vision, due to reading books upside-down in the dark.

  34. shantam prem says:

    Without East European, there won´t be any students/patrons left for Indian gurus and western therapists.
    I wonder why I am wasting time at facebook or sannyasnews, when chickens are just 2 hours of flight away.
    May be I have not that much hunger, neither “compassion”nor this much “Love” to spread master´s message squeezed in Tetra pack!

  35. salvatore says:

    Rani just let go..all of it..even Osho..does the flower you see needs words to discribe..you make reality so difficult..are you a scholar?

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