Finally I made it to Swami Gandhoo’s ashram
which is situated to the north of Bangalore. I could not imagine something further from The Resort, as far as appearances go. Situated down a filthy alley, replete with ubiquitous scraggy cats and a mangy dog who barks at every passer-by.
The ashram, if you could call it that, is an unrendered two storey brick house. Satsang takes place in a medium-sized room, which is more or less empty, apart from a dozen or so under stuffed cushions. The walls are painted an awful green and are grime-stained to a height of about one metre from countless people leaning back against them with oily hair. The swami sits on one of these cushions beneath a sepia photo of his late guru, Mahadeva.
A young student serves as translator. Educated in Bangalore University he speaks excellent English. Apart from approximately thirty westerners there were perhaps twenty locals in attendance. Before I spoke to Gandhooji he blessed the locals in a somewhat bemused manner by patting them on the crowns of their heads as they bowed and touched his feet, which I could not help noticing were utterly filthy with long toe nails. One fat lady in a pink sari went into hysterics before passing out in front of Gandhooji upon receiving his blessing. The master responded by lifting his right buttock and farting loudly, before lighting a cigarette which he smoked down to the filter in six long drags.
A couple of newcomers went before me to address the master. One asked an interesting question about Vipassana. The master looked at the young American woman for a few moments, whereupon she began to sob her eyes out. Gandhooji spoke rapidly to the translator, who in turn spoke to the woman saying, ‘Meditation is very good, but making good chappatis is also good. Meditation is of no real use unless integrated into daily life. Would you like a cigarette?’ The master obviously understood the word cigarette and took it as a signal, because in that moment he fished in his torn shirt pocket then leaned forward and handed the American woman a fag and a box of matches. I very much doubt the women normally smoked, but nonetheless she lit up and soon began to cough. Upon seeing this the master chuckled and, via the translator, said, ‘Smoking is good for breath awareness. God is life’s breath within us.’ The women continued to cough as she stood and retreated to the back of the gathering. A few of the foreigners laughed. Gandhooji peered at the small congregation for a few moments through his very thick spectacles and then, after focusing on my eyes, he beckoned with a curt hand movement for me to come and sit in front of him on the dirt-caked floor.
As you might well imagine the whole situation appeared farcical to me. That said, I was very much aware of a palpable energy in the room, a powerful vibe that said there was a lot more going on in there than met the eye. As soon as I sat at Gandhooji’s dirty feet that energy increased tenfold. We looked into each other’s eyes for a few intense moments until he asked via the translator what my name was and where I’d come from. I’ll switch to simple dialogue, now that it has been established in your mind that a translator was talking on behalf of the master.
‘Lokesh is not a western name. Where did tu get it?’
‘Osho,’ I replied.
G spoke to the translator and a short conversation ensued.
Then G looked back to me and asked, ‘What did Osho teach you?’
‘Meditation,’ I answered.
G’s response was to offer me a cigarette. He had already smoked half a dozen in half-an-hour. We both lit up and then G said, ‘Lokesh, you have accepted that name as your self. In a similar way you have seen your body and as a result you think you are your body. You have to give up both of those identities. In doing that you will come to realize that you simply are, without words, that itself you are. Once that identity is there you must stabilize your self in it. Then, slowly at first, whatever doubts you have will begin to fade in the light of this knowledge and everything will open up in you. You are that self and not the body. You must be sincere about this, this conviction that you are not the body. You must meditate that you are that self only. Like a snake shedding its skin you will shed the body, an event which we normally call ‘death’, but to the self there is no death. If you say that you are the body then surely you will have death. Who understands with the use of intelligence, hold on to that ‘who’ not the intelligence. Catch that. Be that!’ Swami Gandhoo paused for a brief moment and then said, ‘Any questions?’
My mind was blank. The thoughts that are my constant companions had vanished. I actually tried to begin thinking again but the mechanism seemed to have broken. ‘I..I…I..,’ I stammered.
The Swami stubbed out his cigarette in an overfull ashtray. I looked down to my cigarette and saw that it had burned down to the filter and extinguished itself. G chuckled and said, ‘Would you like another one?
I looked up at his thick specs and laughed. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I’ll have another one.’
G fished in his pocket again and pulled out a packet of Gold Flake cigarettes. He flipped open the top, peered into the packet and then tossed it into my lap. ‘Packet is empty,’ he chuckled. I’ve no idea why but in that moment his simple statement seemed very profound and extremely funny. I burst out laughing and then G did too and soon the whole place was filled with laughter. Just as it was dying down a bit the swami lifted his left buttock and let go an outrageously loud fart.
‘Very good,’ he said. More laughter and then he said, ‘Now, do you have a question?’
‘Is it really that simple,’ I asked.
‘Yes, he replied, it is. That’s why so few understand it. That is why people become involved in spiritual pursuits. They want to be blessed. Self realization is not something that can be given to you, because it is already there. What is there to be given? That which can be given has to be secured. You don’t require any security at all for it is already there. If you think and feel it is not there you are never going to realize it.’
And so concluded my first personal satsang with Gandhooji.
Now we come to the essence of this particular story, which hopefully contains enough meat for some of our commentators to get their teeth into.
The next person to sit at the master’s feet was a young man with long dreadlocks who, going by his accented English, hailed from a Scandinavian country.
Swami Gandhoo peered down at the fair-haired young man, sitting in the full lotus position on the filthy floor, and asked. ‘You have a question?’
The fellow nodded his head enthusiastically and replied, ‘Yes. Gandhooji, have I been with you in a past life?’
Gandoo chuckled and then said, ‘Past lives do not exist for me. The concept of past lives is something for ignorant people. If you enquire you will find that the idea that you were born at your physical birth is an idea imposed on you by others that you have become accustomed to and now believe to be true, but it is not? Are you with me?’
The young chap nodded and said. ‘Yes, Gandhooji.’
The master continued, ‘What people normally take to be themselves is in reality something which began to come into existence around the age of two and a half. Round about the time you began looking in the mirror and moved on from saying ‘baby’ to saying ‘me’. Once you became accustomed to the idea that you exist as a separate individual you began to want to live forever. This is impossible because that false self was created in this world from the five elements and will one day return to those elements. The whole point of being with a master is to merge with that which was there before you came into this world, that which will always be there for eternity. Coming to know that who you really are exists beyond the realms of life and death. First though, the master continued further, you must go back to when you first realised that you were and see the illusionary nature of what you have become. Do you understand?’
Once more the young man at Gandhooji’s nodded his head.
As I walked back to my hotel the world around me had taken on the quality of a dream. I thought about what the master said in relation to reincarnation being for the minds of ignorant people. And then I thought about Osho.
In my opinion, Osho was never too hot on reincarnation, but he used reincarnation in his talks many times. When one friend of mine died in Poona, Osho declared that she only had one more life to go before liberation. Osho spun a yarn about being a master in the Himalayas centuries before, and many of his disciples from that time were now with him in Poona. Osho declared that the Tibetan Book of The Dead is a book which describes reality. And so it goes.
Did Osho actually believe in reincarnation? I kind of doubt it. I think that it is highly possible that he used the concept of reincarnation for a number of reasons, not least of which being that he pandered to people’s projections about reincarnation. It is an extremely powerful emotional experience to sincerely believe that you have been with someone in a previous incarnation. It is also possible that he used reincarnation as a source of psychological manipulation.
I’m not viewing any of this in a particularly positive or negative light. I do believe that it could be an interesting topic for discussion here on Sannyasnews. Osho’s epitaph does, after all, include ‘never born never died’. What exactly does that mean? What is that an indication of?
As I sit in my hotel room, writing this on my laptop, I glance over at a little makeshift puja I’ve made around Gandhooji’s photo. Beneath the picture sits the red empty packet of Gold Leaf cigarettes the master dropped into my lap during this morning’s satsang. Like the man said, ‘The packet is empty.’ He was right.
The festive season is upon some of us and I’d just like to take this opportunity to wish all the commentators here on SN the best. Thanks for all of your comments, many of which brought laughs at my end. Others were quite educational. While some were absolute nonsense. We’ve entered a new era on the Mayan calender and as far as I can determine it was a smooth transition. A new year is approaching. I trust it is a fruitful and enlightening one for each and every one of you. This has been Lokesh in Bang-galore reporting to you live for Sannyasnews.
Impressions from Pune and Lucknow…sitting in Ibiza..imagining Banglore..
every fiction is born from some personal experience and fluid imagination!
Shantam, I know you from a past life.
You went to 37b ?
oops….
It’s actually the man at 39a down the corridor and left behind the paan stained stairwell…
Still, as long as you got there , wherever it was and whoever it is, that’s all that matters…
I made a similar mistake ….ended up buying a load of holy vibhuti ash off some vedic tantric master who smelt of kerosene…
I thought there was something fishy going on.
Lokesh, thanks for remembering our past life connection.
I have also recalled, you owe me 3 thousand British Pounds.
It is upto your goodwill, whether you want to add some interest over it or not. Lol
shantam , if memory serves me rigth , you shall have to visit mrs L in his absense to avail the dues !
Aye, lass, and she pulls the purse strings very tight when it comes to past life debts.
Sons,
Now I must declare that you got to the stage of managing your own following. So go and start your own ashram and create that living myth you were talking about. You have seen the troubles that your brothers went thru, so beware. I pass on all my creative powers to you so you can reach to all corners of the earth quickly. Use all the technology my sons, its ours. Like my wikileaks son exposed all politicians, you expose the plans of all vested interests working for with selfish reasons.
OK, I have to go now, its time for me for another big bang elsewhere.
Blessings..
Wow…I..I ..believe that really is God addressing us…big bang…Bang-galore. Get it? I’m lost for words.
The God says:
… Like my wikileaks son exposed all politicians, you expose the plans of all vested interests working for with selfish reasons.
David Icke already has that corner covered. How about exposing God’s plan? That would be novel (not!) (yes?).
It is a novel. It is called The Bible. It’s basically two seperate books under one cover. The first book is a bit boring and I could not keep track of everyone’s names. Quite violent in certain chapters and completely unbelievable in others. I suspect that more than one author is involved because the style varies a lot.
The second book is more your typical good guys/bad guys thriller. A bit like Oceans Eleven except there are twelve guys in the Disciples Gang plus the leader, who just so happens to be able to perform amazing tricks. I’d say it has the makings of a movie. Steven Spielberg might have fun with it, but I reckon Ridley Scott would do it best, especially the fight scenes and the torture bits.
Lokesh says:
… It is a novel. It is called The Bible. It’s basically two seperate books under one cover.
You forgot the Apocrypha and the Anagignoskomena. And not to mention the Pseudepigrapha. It all adds up. When is the Swami Gandhoo going to bring out his Grand Opus, or are you recording his farts?
amazing news…..
ghandoo really is taking the world by storm…..
the latest is …
madfish bhatty is making a bollywood ballbuster about his experiences with ghandoo and his ashram…
from the press release…
“many years ago,i came to ghandoo`s back alley high on lsd.
i asked him if he knew where i could get some top-class come-down gear…
he said i could have some of his stuff and stay high for ever….
i believed him and took a puff on one of his gold leaf fags.
i spun out on the spot and started having a bummer,but he just sat there laughing at me…
the bastard…i`m not having that. i`m pretty damn important,you know…
so i realised there and then that i just had to make a movie about myself…
that was when the concept of the new movie came into being..
i have tentatively titled it:
“cum-shot-sex-guru-my-daughters-tits-and-ass-tittilation-jism-enlightenment 2″ ”
i`ll keep you updated….
Is it in 5D?
38 DD
by the look of it
That’s a cool number. Just about right.
i spoke to madfish today and
reminded him of the sign ghandoo has above his podium in the ashram…
“you want bang?
i give you bang-galore.
that is my promise”
“is it true?”i asked mudflush.
he stroked his beard thoughtfully before replying
“yes, but all i got was bitter and a nasty little rash….”
Bharat Reuters Pvt All INDIA PRESS RELEASE ** ** ** **
Followings much of the hanky pankies informations at the Go Down near backside Gandhoo Tall-Tale-Towers and furnished apartments, this morning raid by District Commissioner of Police is currently taking the place at the place we are mentioning.
All sorts of misbehaviour and report of goings-on, in what is being called the Gandhoo Go Down, and see who it is, Scandal.
Very precisely Bangalorry Police wagon arrived, acting on the tip ups and wot nots of underthecovers agents and are discovering the piles of dirty laundry and many of the proof of corruption and backhanders evidence staining reputation of Gandwhoheji.
Expert investigators on the scene are having the gobsmacked for many incriminating evidence of this very unpleasant criminal activity and shilly-shallying between the covers and some mischief of chief mystic. While spokesman for police L.E Baba said police are sifting through several hundred lakh of files, pictures and papers, for photos of a lad in them.
Devotees are claiming, no shilly-shallying between sheets and all papers found are load of crepe or tissue of lies made by foreign enemies of Indian culture as he only ever used left hand and bucket.
Gandhuji is currently taking centre stage as the plot thickens, with many calling out, who is really behind him in this tale of the mistaken east.Perhaps it will all end in a puff of smoke…or having the relaxing blow job on the favourite cigarette.
Report by A. Jinneh.
Yes indeed, this morning when I went to satsang with Gandhooji the whole block was cordoned off. Why is it that enlightened ones like Gandhooji and Osho are crucified for their enlightenment? Somehow the light shines through and I have faith that this whole scenario has been created by the master to work on our unawareness and serve as an aid to our awakening.
I am now downtown in Bangalore and heading off for a chai and chappati snack. I believe there is some place in the neighbourhood where they do palm readings to determine who you were in a past life. This could be a way to find out if there is any truth in Shantam’s statement that I am owe him money from a previous incarnation. The plot thickens and moves deeper and deeper into the mystery we know collectively as ‘Life’.
Lokesh says:
Did Osho actually believe in reincarnation? I kind of doubt it. I think that it is highly possible that he used the concept of reincarnation for a number of reasons, not least of which being that he pandered to people’s projections about reincarnation.
I also don’t think that Osho believed in reincarnation (or karma, for that matter). My feeling is that 90% of the Pune 1 talks were (as you call it) pandering to people’s projections.
“I believe” that the ‘never born never died’ statement refers to the fully conscious appropriation of the process, also inferring that the process is neither biological or accidental. Half-way through Pune 2, (probably around the Mystic Rose) consciousness was ranked higher than witnessing which was the mainstay of the transmission until then. Consciousness is attained through the merging of the witness with the witnessed. The way I explain it to ordinary ppl, is that, (perhaps) it is not accidental that our brain can comprehend the universe. The way I would explain it to sannyasins, is that, the centering and the grounding become one (in fact they were always one and the separation was the conditioned illusion).
Yes those are the words that Jacques Brel made inimitable in his left bank style….
I am ze witness..
the witnessing iz me
But where is ze who
and ze witnesse
who is shee
lala lalala lalalala
oh where and why and who are we ?
what is the where and
where
is she…
lalala lalala lalalala
She is not here I am not there but
we are here aren’t we
even if a bit hopelessy
lalala lalalalala
play ze accordion ……play
lalalala diiddidididi lalalala dididididi
An intelligent post by Vartan. Deserves a good response but I’ve misplaced my hi-brow specs and I’m lost in the dark without them. I’ll go and search for them, meanwhile contemplating the nuts and bolts of this consciousness connection.
have you heard about madfish botty`s guru UG ghandoo?
not to be confused with our J ghandoo.
they went to the same school,but ug lives just down the road in a village called bangaless.
he`s a kind of anti guru.
whereas j ghandoo smokes gold flake,UG smokes charminar.
unlike J ghandoo,he refuses to share his cigs with anyone.
apparently,if you ask him for a fag,he always says he hasnt got any to give,and even denies smoking at all.
have you read his book”the courage to smoke alone”?
there was the famous story of him visiting ramana ramarlboro many years ago
“can you give me a cig”he asked the master
“yes i can give,but can you take it?”answered ramarlboro
UG went off in huff,saying he didnt want one anyway.
it seems that ug took some of the same brown acid as old bhatty.
he really lost it.he thought he would get enlightened from it but he had a “calamity”.
he claims his dick withered away and he grew a pussy and became a hermaphrodite.
no wonder he tells everyone to stay away from the brown acid gurus.
well.at least now,he might get a part in botty`s new film
“jism3…ladyboy antigurus on acid”
you couldnt make it up!
UG must be deaf. They told people not to take the brown acid over the PA system, just before Santana came on. Then again, they also said its your own trip and by the sounds of UG is very much on his own trip. I asked one of Gandhooji’s inner circle about UG and they said he/she is not fully enlightened and is now a bag lady who lives in a cardboard box round the back of Bangalore main railway station.
Hi Lokesh Welcome to Bangalore
I went to this nadi reader he is very famous
try once
Sachidananda Murthy
+(91)-(80)-26601971
No.33, 5TH Main Road, Chamarajpet, Bangalore – 560018
Thanks, Kumar, I will catch a taxi over there after idli-dosa-vada-coffee breakfast at the Leela Palace Hotel. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I told you that the plot would thicken, but I’d no idea how much.
On becoming awakened Gandhuji has spoken….
This morning , as in all mornings I was awakened….but this time it was much roughly, not by my closest and dearest smooth hands finding their way through the pillau covers , oh no, instead I was awakened with much roughliness whilst sitting at my post.. in the stiff backed meditation, as the Chief Commissioner’s hands were all over me in a jiffy.
He barked, ‘ Who is in ‘ to which I replied, ‘That all depends who is asking, but on Thursdays it is usually Gupta ‘, whereupon she popped her head above the pillau and duvet set ( £1600.99 rupia at all good stores of Gandhuswami Emporium ) and cooed ‘ Hello boys’, ‘a bit early today, accha he , ..no panky without hanky ..giggle giggle ‘.
yes 33 thats right…. (to the editors, I obviously am in tune with something here…how many more coincidences can a man have on a blog eh without being hailed as a true seer…)
Wow…2 times 33 is 66…that’s two thirds of the beast. This is getting scary. Maybe Preetam is right and we are being manipulated by Lizards in high places.
Gandhoo wrote me personal, because I can not travel far. Yes, becoming accustomed being a “separate individual” can lead realizing the false self, into confusion. That is why those conspiracies exist, because the majority is manipulated through Archetype lies. Not by Lizards certainly through the highest Masons and Royals. Those people even assert that Jesus was the brother of twins; one was Judas Thomas and the other him. Judas was fighting against the Roman Empire. Jesus was a high Celtic Druid, and got killed not on the cross. For them he was the British King stoned in London at St. Paul’s Cathedral. Mariamne was the Granddaughter of King Herod and was rapped by the Roman Tiberius.
Explaining this empty packet, thus, realization it as emptiness filled of – represents our self. Giving up, makes possible move the curtain aside. Thus, one self – before and after, “never born never died”, embodiment of this same (Sarman) self. Immortality or rebirth has its understanding and realization by knowing us – as Sarman.
We are much fixed onto the word “enlightenment” – sharing, ecstasy, celebration, silence – possibly it supports us all. Out of will dancing together and turning our back towards the false prefer sharing our inspiration through the common tool of celebrating our embodiment and soon departure?
Preetam:
That is why those conspiracies exist, because the majority is manipulated through Archetype lies. Not by Lizards certainly through the highest Masons and Royals. Those people even assert that Jesus was the brother of twins; one was Judas Thomas and the other him. Judas was fighting against the Roman Empire. Jesus was a high Celtic Druid, and got killed not on the cross. For them he was the British King stoned in London at St. Paul’s Cathedral. Mariamne was the Granddaughter of King Herod and was rapped by the Roman Tiberius.
SD:
Are you saying that these stories are used by ‘The Conspirators’ to ‘brainwash’ and manipulate us? If so, they haven’t done a very good job as I doubt 0.0001 % of people have ever heard of them.
No, sure not such Story. That is what makes it their order and truth, buried to majority.
‘Jesus was a high Celtic Druid.’ I knew it. I always thought Jesus was Scottish.
MC jesus was a high celtic druid..
rappin with tiberius an` keepin it pretty fluid…
it aint hard for me to see
it was all a conspiracy…
he was a dope archetype
just like david icke…
he was the holy boss..
he didnt die on no cross…
he was a wicked wizard when he whipped out his lizard
an` sexed up herods daughter
in a way he shouldnt oughta…
he was off the wall
when they stoned him at st pauls
yeah,he was really flyin`
he looked me in the eye an`
said :i`m gonna get to heaven
or gonna die tryin`
gonna get to heaven
or die tryin`……
that’s an ancient tune from Juke box Jewry…i’ll give it five…
but seriously,its ridiculous to say that jesus was a celtic druid..
its common knowledge that he was a rangers fan…
and a very wise man he was too..
i`ll never forget that time we were on the way to hampden on old firm derby day…
he turned to me and said
“i`ll tell ye this,son..
do unto others before they fockin` do you..”
SANNYAS NEWS TO MERGE WITH GANDHYAS NEWS IN NEW YEAR.
Special new format to include.
Sannyas Culture , Sannyas Sport, Sannyas Health, Sannyas Sannyas ,Sannyas Retirement, Sannyas Travel, Sannyas Crime, Sannyas Conspiracy, Sannyas Music, Sannyas Leisure, Sannyas Children, Sannyas Arts, Sannyas Group Behaviour, Sannyas Expensive-Car Maintenance, Sannyas Delusion incorporating Sannyas Free Satire, Sannyas Looking for True Self, Sannyas Not Looking for False Self, Sannyas False Self Looking for True Self, Sannyas not Looking and Not Finding True Self or even a False Self, Sannyas Looking for a False Self and Coming Up with a True Self by Accident, Sannyas Never Heard of A True Self Looking for a False Self but now that you mention It I think theres one in the Loft, Asking A true Selfer what it feels like to have Something you’ve been looking For , and finally how to Fix the Plumbing in a State of No Mind whilst delighting in the Music of the Spheres and the Nature of the True Self.
Book Reviews and Tantra Tips, Tantric Videos, Tantra Nostalgia, Diy Tantra, Tantra for Singles, Tantra for Loners and Tantric Fantasy, and lastly a pull out and throwaway section on No fuss Meditation Techniques for Inheritance purposes or selling at Spiritual Car Boot Sales.
Lastly there will be an Osho cross-word puzzle written especially from the editors’ collection.
—————
Due to the Rising Costs of Production Sannyas News Regrets to Inform that the Price of the New ALL COLOUR GANDYINSANNYAS NEWS will be completely unbelievable.
osho the musical…??? that would be fun….
well here’s an indication of how things might go….
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-radio-and-tv-20717102
Would the unapproved unedited Xmas Sannyas musical extravaganza have a role for the resort managers dressed as Censored Clause ?
Unless Sannyas News can provide a full descriptive account of the means and ways to guarantee a religious experience, devotional life and sacred interpersonal ethical behaviour based on the inherited collected work of my master on a podium about whom none will speak of his bedroom activities without making it into a religious sacred act, over which we have no business in discussing, with inappropriate comicality or common parlance, unlike the sheer presence of enlightenment in other spheres of which we disciples can speak so relevantly about due to our own humble and dedicated natures, then I for one will not be re-newing my subscription in the New Year.
Your colour supplement .?.Bah, humbug.
Yours ,
Disgusted,
of Punebridge Wells
Hear! Hear! The bounders! Bring back national conscription and the birch rod.
Retired Major Bagshot.
full spectrum sheen on the slick oil
anointing the heads of runaway overflow
gushing tiger blood in the halls of the Vatican
caressed by the lust for screaming witches
smashed together and burned alive
thrashed and trashed or recycled
in the name of our Sweet Lord
stashed the cash under statue of Baphomet
and stuffed like Christmas goose
in mouth of John the Baptist’s severed head
with pronounced Cymatic registration
for Logos tuning forked tongues and tails
haunted by echos of the Superuser marching down
the command line interfaces of death
with hot sticky breath chasing fogged sunglasses
worn at night with red shoes for dancing
black and blue Skyline racing invisible sunlight
wrapped tight so the bedbugs wont bite the white wall tires
like termites in the root access directory structure
punctured by the fangs of our Sweet Lord
who maketh all the young girls lie down
and wait for sweet rape in the tall grass
squeezed like grapes and a piece of ass
fermenting still waters into cyclone tsunami
wine bottle tidal wave killing punani
with the jammy that listens to the way we slay
bad brains damaged by raiding black flags
nailed to the crossbones under crystal skulls
trailed to lost homes of child sacrifice
in the name of our Sweet Lord
Dear Kapa, they made an anouncement about the brown acid. Perhaps investing in a hearing aid would be a worthwhile investment.
Love…
hahahahaha ……. everything is crap here. you peoples are total crook without any wisdom. even general people in society have more sense of humor and wisdom and crack hilarious jokes ….hehehehe !!!!! here u will find only too much bla bla bla bla …and masterbation with mind.
egghead,enjoy your masterbation,
you fecking wonker!
But surely, eggie, you ‘d have to accept that Ghandoo-ji is a rare and wonderful phenomenon, phenomenal indeed? And as such He surely deserves serious consideration rather than mediocre attempts at ‘humour’, that are, by the way of things, bound to fail?
why does ‘sufi’ from birminghamstan always get past the ‘sufi’ name change software sniffer that cost thousands of pounds to install ? we need more surveillance cameras on the site…..to photograph these rascals who vandalize bus shelters in the name of spirituality..
Eckhart, well said. It takes guts to stand up to these blighters on SN. You are obviously a very deep person, with a fantastic sense of humour and an intellect so sharp you could shave a bull elephant’s scrotum as smooth as Osho’s bottom. If you are ever in Somalia give me a call and we coud hook up for a cup of tea and a hookah of hoopla down at my local chai shop.
Love…
liar liar shilaaaaaaa …..lala lalalalala lala ….
heyyyy franky ……why so serious babay !!!!! NJOyyyyyy……
for me OSHO , Poonja , J.Krishnamurti , Eckhart ( LIVE) , Mooji (LIVE) are god , prabhu , moksha , tao , tirthankar , mahaprabhu or whatever u call. here hypocrates says that they are enlightened through this unenlightened masters….. hahahahaha …ROFL!!!!! too much bla bla bla ….. stop existing and start living.
There are approximately 1 Lakh (1,00,000) people ( 50% women – natural phenomena ) around the World , are on path of becoming GOD , Enlightened , Prabhu , Nirvana , Moksha , Tao , Tirthankar
, Maha Prabhu , Bhagwan in next 5 to 20 years. (Many have already become) 21st Century will be remembered as Century of Awakening into Awareness in whole history of mankind on this planet earth. Forever Unknown Nature chooses only few to convey message on large scale ….. like Kabira , Mira , OSHO , J.Krishnamurti , Mooji , Eckhart etc. Others remain in deepest Bliss n Pure JOY , Love forever with absolute silence. Welcome To Time To Rejoice ….Love 4 All ….. NJOyyyyyyy …
eggsy, you say, “here hypocrates says that they are enlightened through this unenlightened masters….. hahahahaha …ROFL!!!!! too much bla bla bla ….. stop existing and start living.”
Surely you’re not referring to the Great Ghandoo-ji, who Lokesh has brought to our attention quite recently? SURELY NOT?!
Please state your case, sir!
Also, would you care to provide the sources for your claim, your evidence for the numbers of people to be “enlightened”, please?
Presumably, ‘you’ are well on the way ‘yourself’, of course?
satyadeva says:
Also, would you care to provide the sources for your claim, your evidence for the numbers of people to be “enlightened”, please?
Presumably, ‘you’ are well on the way ‘yourself’, of course?
On the way? It sounds like he has gone past enlightenment and straight into irradiation.
SD has gone off the deep end.
he he he he he …… again …. instead of feeling and start living this hypocrate KHANTU people has started deriving meaning from words ….. soon u will be integrated by derivative of yr masterbating mind …. heyyyy … holier than cow pe POLE …. ROFL!!!!!
His name is Ghandoo, eckstasy, not Khantu – can’t you read?!
My freeling is contempt for the total disrespect you show towads this Great Soul. I haven’t yet travelled to meet him in person, yet I already find myself profoundly affected by Lokesh-ji’s vivid accounts of His words, gestures and actions.
Ghandoo-ji and Lokesh-ji are both Great Blessings, fortunate we are indeed to have them amongst us. If you are unable to accept this then I’m sorry, it calls into question the rest of your pronouncements here.
beloved SD,
make haste! dont miss this opportunity.
or you may have to wait another 84000 years before such a chance comes again.
ghandoo has recognised you and ecky thump as his disciples from a previous incarnation in the days when buddha walked the earth…
your names are on the akashik list of the 1 lakh lackeys who are destined to transform the consciousness of the planet forever….
i can say on my own authority that ecky homo may have sat in the presence of some great enlightentertainment impressionists such as smooch-ji, egghead tool, LBW halal papad-ji and andrew kosher-ji but until he has gone beyond his obsession with masterbating and knelt in front of ghandoo,surrendered totally and imbibed deeply from the essence blasting forth from ghandoo`s mighty lingam,known by his disciples as khantu`s pole i would consider his life wasted….
love….
Frank, my sense is you’re misusing your undoubted literary gift for wrong ends. Gentle good humour, harmless fun is one thing, but sarcastic ridicule is quite another. Especially when the target is a Master and His disciples.
Perhaps you’re just afraid of the implications for you and your current lifestyle of the very existence of a radical Teacher like Ghandoo?
Pity, because my feeling is that Osho has prepared you for Him to ‘finish the job’, as it were.
SD.
i feel that you really must meet ghandoo in person.its easy to project your prejudices from afar,but when you surrender to him in the flesh…you really will have to drop everything…
you see,gandoo has no problem with his sexuality,as i have reported,he swings both ways,he loves fags and will have a puff anytime of day,if he feels he is receptive enough…
i`ll tell you, like all great tantric masters,for gandoo,the end justifies the means,and believe me,he doesn`t mind which end he uses…
his vision of `zorba the bugger` has already outraged the greek government . it is groundbreaking and ballbusting, cuts to the very core of centuries-old conditioning,and has increased sales of vaseline on the indian subcontinent exponentially.
ecky thump would be very welcome to the ashram,and would be given every opportunity to explore his fantasies about fat guys getting stuck into a grand canyon…
and you are right,gandoo is certainly keen to “finish the job” with me,and the implications of that are a little frightening,i must admit….
yes,i do have my doubts.
its hard to tell whether the wide smiles on the faces of ghandoo`s ashramites signs of enlightenment or post-traumatic ass syndrome….
but of course i`m thinking too much,i really must drop my mind……
Well, Frank, as you must know by now, being with a living Master is certainly a gamble…
Question is, I suppose, are you prepared to take it?
SD.
am i prepared to take it?
my heart says “yes”
but my ass says “no”
Mmmm, the Master has much work to do on you…
Much internal work….
yes,and its certainly bringing up my resistance….
The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.
SD, be warned .. he doesn’t leave his friends’ behind
In the ultimate reality we are simply one big Gandhoo. It’s so beautiful to watch Frank entering total let-go. SD knows Gandhooji from another incarnation…my inner voice told me. Baba is just unsurrendered. We must feel compassion for him. He doesn’t realize that the master is taking on our heavy karma by chain-smoking. One day Baba will repent and see the error of his ways. All we can do for now is light incense and pray for his soul.
My heart echoes these sentiments, Lokesh. It’s so wonderful to be released (by Grace, it would seem) from years of post-Osho mediocrity. Babasv is similarly burdened, I know, but the amazing thing is that NOW it doesn’t have to be, does it? Blessings.
you are condemned to eternal darkness, lokesh. you forgot to put a capital “M” for master.. gandhijoo-goo no likee that.
you do that; i’ll just light a doobie and roll on with the rest of the day.. later
there are many hurdles u have to come across. 1st uncondition yr mind from society than u have to uncondition yrself from this crap pe POLE on this board and their crap bla bla bla bla ….. hahahaha …LOL!!!!
http://oshosearch.net/Convert/Mahasattva_Veeren_Speaks_Full.html
http://www.ptmistlberger.com/why-remarkable-men-rarely-meet.php
lonely and saddist franky has lost his mind ….. why babay !!!! heyyyy KHANTU frankie …. Your stinking thought is so fat that U fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! … hohohoho …LOL!!!!
frankie is nothing but KHANTU essence from lingam of UG. frankie is enlightned through his great great unenlightned master UG. frankie burger with enlighten bhurji. frankie says he is enlightened than he says there is no enlightenment. how u say this ???? why ??? from where yr unenlightenment comes …. is there any purpose of yr crap bla bla bla … from where it comes KHANTU frankie …. ROFL!!!!! heyyyy …holier than cow.. lonely frankie ..NJOyyyyy …fun fun fun ..
Eckhart, surrender to Gandhooji. He is waiting on you. You have a brilliant mind, but in let-go that too will have to go. Please join us in Bangaglory.+
Love…
I too pray for this outcome.
i’ll say 10 “our fathers” and “5 hail mary’s” for eckbert; as for you two yo-yo’s, kindly join shantam on his next world circus tour… amen
I’m still praying for poor Baba. I asked Gandhooji about him and he told me that in his last incarnation Baba was a prostitute living in a cage in Mumbai and the traumas endured there still trouble him and he won’t be able to transcend these latent tendencies, specifically selling his body for money, ubtil he understands the three guna’s mechanics. We must have compassion for Baba as he is a troubled and lost soul. Jai Gandhooji. Love…
Well, you’ve acted from a pure space, Lokesh, so it will no doubt bear appropriate fruit in due course.
Ghandoo-ji’s response – though frankly, not entirely surprising, I confess – is most enlightening. As a result, perhaps more will join us in prayers for babasv’s soul….
newsflash from bangawillypuram…
ghandoo has anounced a list of 25 of his disciples and lovers who are now enlightened….
the levels range from “fully awakened” in the case of eckhart feckhard,
down to the category of”baddiesattva” for babasweat…
and this is a special message for baba from ghandoo…
“keep wheeling your stolen supermarket trolley down your life path,o badassed one, and dont cut back on the jack daniels and crystal meth…and don`t brake for hallucinations….you are closer than you think to nirvana…..”
and G also asked me to deliver this personal message to ecky homo…
“have you heard about the 2 for 1 deal on vaseline down at the AK mart?
check it out”
heyyyy frenkie burger ..enlighten burger with bhurji. Oh you mean rich spiritual terms? I’ll break it down. All the spiritual dummies in the room, listen up! If you gonna eat nasty stuff like this frankie burger…..
frank- eckbert is jealous, jealous of your close, personal connection with gandhiji-goosie -goo.. but the message that you transmitted for him- he stole from SN posters some 6 months ago. getting goosed by your guru must be an enlightening experience… how else would he know about the 2 fer 1 deal on greasy lube.. try k-y, comes off quicker. peace my goosed up friend.
lokesh says Punja was somewhat enlightened…. ye papa ..woppa !!! what is somewhat enlightned ???? LOL!!!! who is GandhuLokesh Maraj !!! What are yr criteria for unenlightement. Name atleast 25 people u think , have wisdom. ofcourse one will be GandhuLokka Wokka Thokka Maraj …hehehehe ..ROFL!!!! here Some are saying they are leading quiet happy life….LOL!!!! how u define happiness. How u know u r happy ??? UG roccckkksss with metaphysical crap bla bla bla bla words … are U KHANTU of bhurji. heyyy lokkka wokkaa …Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your wife so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I’m still on the bitch! all the best … GandhuLokka Wokka Thokka Maraj ….. LOVE
sattu deba …. what is burden ???? how u released … now what to do !!!! are u feeling wight less on moon after burden removal. moon 2 moon ..fool moon.
GandhuLokka Maraj :In the ultimate reality we are simply one big Gandhoo.. GL maraj how u know about ultimate reality…… hahahahahahaha … I cant stop laughing …OMG …. literally ROFL!!!!
Mmmmm, humour is good, egg-heart, very gooooood! There might be even more to laugh at soon…
Do you own a mirror, by any chance?
hummmmm ….. O sattu Debraaaa … yr wife has a mirror , so not to worry hummm. use some tantra sattu and get power. hahahahaha ….
The time approaches when one is ‘forced’ to laugh at oneself – or be exposed as a ‘half-wit’! Even you, little heckler, even you….
O Sattu Debraaaa ….. what is approach time ??? why one is forced …what purpose !!! why so serious .. … hummmm … Sattu : dont angry me ..hehehehe !!!!
Simple, ‘old’ boy – you’re not a quarter as clever as you imagine…
You and babasv have much in common, it would seem….
O Sattu Debraaaa baba …. what is clever flavour ..LOL!!!! very intelligent , clever Sattu baba. I know it looks bad and I know how many of here like porkchop. But this greasy, nasty Sattu porkchop, you know there’s a gene in your DNA that routes this straight to your stinking cells, and it causes all sorts of sightly conditions of illusion.
Unfortunately, the joke’s well and truly on you, Humpty Dumpty…
Consult your gp for a humour transplant – asap!
O Sattu Debraaaa baba… why behaving like little wittle crying child ..ale le le le … aabra ka sattu debraaaa !!!
The joke, little heckler, is that you can’t see the joke…
Now there’s a sort of ‘koan’ for you…
But your apparent masturbatory mental excitation prevents you from seeing it (makes you blind, y’know!)….
O Sattu Debraaaaaa ….the dog has ripped the garbage bag open again.
Well, look inside, maybe you’ll find your sense of humour at last….
O Sattu Debraaaa Maraj …whats inside..outside. ..hehehehe ..
Oh well, I have tried to get you to see the Light, but now I’m handing over your case to Ghandoo-ji. The Great One of these times will surely know precisely how to proceed….
O holier than cow Sattu Debra …. dont worry about others. Why r u trying … what purpose ..hahahaha … Jai ho Sattu Debraaa Maraj
I’m simply overcome with sheer compassion for the apparently terminally afflicted, little eckie-weckie…
BACK OFF, Monkey Buoy, before I tell your husband Gandhuji you’re running this place like it’s your own
personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS, and see if we can arrange a little funeral for your stinking thoughts at Bang bang!
You seem rather rattled, little ecky…Have your little buttons been pressed? Poor you.
Ghandoo-ji will help, don’t worry.
Meanwhile, I suggest you make far more effort to find your sense of humour (and your common sense).
O Sattu Debraaa… I think yr marriage with Gandhuu Maraj is on the rock… Ohhhh …Poor Sattu. All right… That’s confiscated. All of it. And I want you on the next transport off this rock or I’m gonna shoot you where it don’t grow back.
Yes, very angry indeed you are, little egg! I wonder why…
I also wonder what is the exact, precise nature of your problem with Ghandoo-ji…
Sounds – like all angry people – as if you feel ‘threatened’ somehow…
I guess it’s just your resistance, ‘swami’….
O Sattu Debraaaa… Well, yeah, you know, ’cause ’cause Gandhooo never appreciated you anyway. In fact, you know what – he fcuk yr ass out! And now that he’s gone you’re gonna go into town, you go to Bang bang and find some nice pajama, get yourself some lube lube, you know, find somewhere, maybe you can get a gel. And, uh, oh – hire a tantrik to come in here quick, ’cause… DAMN.
As I suspected all along – eggy, you simply don’t have a clue. Perhaps you don’t have the patience to read accurately?
Whatever, you most certainly don’t know Who Ghandoo-ji is; and how you got the idea that He’s ‘disappeared’, God only knows!
As Lokesh has reported, He’s alive and well in Bangalore, and I’m going to take a Pilgrim’s Trail to be in His Presence for the first time within a couple of weeks.
Sattu Debraaaa s journey with Gandhuuu Maraj around the world …You’ll dress only in pajama specially sanctioned by Gandhuu special services. You’ll conform to the identity Gandhuu give you, eat where Gandhoo tell you, live where Gandhoo tell you. From now on you’ll have no identifying marks of any kind. You’ll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You’re a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You’re no longer part of the System. You’re above the System. Over it. Beyond it. You are the Sattu Gandhoo Debraaa…hahahaha …
Er, not QUITE, eggsy – but you have a reasonable imagination, I suppose.
From what I’ve gathered so far – at second-hand, not yet directly, of course – Ghandoo-ji’s Path does certainly involve one or two similar features to those on your list – eg the all-pervading Laughter that accompanies His vast Realisation – but generally you’re about 95% mistaken.
It appears that He uses ordinary life, our ordinary habits as key means to instruct and uplift us. Lokesh’s reference to Smoking would be an excellent example.
The fact is, you have MUCH to learn about His Ways (as indeed do I). Nothing ‘wrong’ in that, of course, after all, we’re all more or less ‘beginners’, aren’t we?! Frankly, you sound more like a ‘spiritual virgin’ each time you post here: plenty of sound and fury, huff ‘n’ puff – but zero evidence of Significant Silence so far, I’m afraid.
But IF you could possibly take Ghandoo into your heart then much is possible to happen, I’m informed….
O Sattu Debraaaa …. yr humming and drumming is not working. Why r u trumpeting yr own drums. Looks like u r clonned version of BHURJI …hahahahaha … Be silent now ..monkey buoy…hehehehe ..ROFL!!!!
On the contrary, O hard-boiled one, my “humming and drumming” is working rather well…You obviously have no idea whatsoever how amusing it is to read your reactions (note that I didn’t say ‘responses’).
May GandhuLokka Maraj bless Sattu Debraaa with wisdom… Lets Pray … O Sattu ..O Sattu Maraj ..tumsa nahi koi debraaa….hohohoho ..ROFL!!!
Calm down, eggy, no need to get all hysterical on us.
Through my prayers Ghandoo-ji is probably trying to reach you right now – but you won’t be able to perceive His Help unless you remain very, very silent…for at least 12 months, the way things are looking….
OOooooouuuuu…. compassion .. Sattu Debraaaa needs mental treatment and blessing of GandhuLokka Maraj ….get well soon ..dear Debraaa…lalalalala ..
O Sattu Geez I thought you would have a sense of humor. After all – you married with GandhuLokka Maraj! LOL!!!
lokesh says Punja was somewhat enlightened…. ye papa ..woppa !!! what is somewhat enlightned ???? LOL!!!! who is GandhuLokesh Maraj !!! What are yr criteria for unenlightement. Name atleast 25 people u think , have wisdom. ofcourse one will be GandhuLokka Wokka Thokka Maraj …hehehehe ..ROFL!!!! here Some are saying they are leading quiet happy life….LOL!!!! how u define happiness. How u know u r happy ??? UG roccckkksss with metaphysical crap bla bla bla bla words … are U KHANTU of bhurji.
GandhuLokka says sri sri bhut Kankar has more followers than OSHO. so he will enlighten Fuckku Lokapal with ganna and bring back black money with Ramoji deva baba. GandhuLokka must learn art of fuckkking and faking… Lokka ..wokka ..D thoka.
GandhuLokka Maraja says …. have a beautiful memory that time with OSHO. Where u have stored yr memory GandhuLokka Maraj. Why not beautiful wife n life now ??? Megabyte or Gigabyte memory. Elephants have large memory storage … Jai ho GandhuLokka Maraj !!!!! again create beautiful memory with yr f Art of fuckkk livi ING sri sri bhut kankar Maraj !!!
It’s obvious that poor Eggy is not ready to experience Gandhooji’s infinite blessings. It will be fun to meet SD in Bangalory and check out the lassis together. Eggsy would probably slip on the faluda so just as well he will not be coming to the master’s humble ashram. Perhaps a bit of Primal therpy would help. I really don’t know. I will go and sit in silence now and say a little prayer for him.
heyyyy GandhuLokka Maraj … u have no answers and wisdom and so called uncondition. Why r u repeating same dialouges again n again n again….. hahahaha … bring some thing new GandhuLokkaaa … yr thoughts are stinking ..crap bla bla bla bla..lalalalalalala ….LOL!!!!
Is Gandhooji’s real name begin with an A and end in an O?
New Unconditioned Bhagwan found on Planet No.9210 , 4529 , 1187 and many more are as follow.
Master Yoda , Gandalf the white , Harry Potter , King Julian , Professor Dumbledore , Legolas , Shrek n Donkey …. Unconditoned aircondition ..hahahaha … where is GandhuLokka !!! LOL!!! Whole earth will be unconditioned … it will throw out everybody from system into space of condition of uncondition transformation through conditional environment of nothingness … NJOyyyyy .. hahahaha …..
Haven’t you heard (or are you too busy shouting your little egg-head off?) – Ghandooo is alive and very well in Bangalore!
O Sattu Debraaaa….. why r u getting angry and reactive. calm down monkey buoy and be silent. GandhuuuLokka is arranging little prayer for you.
egghead, these days I’m in virtually continuous prayer, inspired by the Grace of the Great Ghandoo. Your comments are both insincere and inappropriate. Look to your own Soul, you’re wasting your time and energy arguing against Nothing.
OOooouuuu ….look who is talking about soul .. an unconditioned mind ..wo wo wo .. wanna respect monkey buoy.. chammon be sincere like fanatics… ye ye … show respect to maraj Sattu Debraa….uuuuuu .. he is number one desciple of GandhuuLokkaa Maraj.
But egg-heart, you’re SO predictable! Do you realise how easy it is to annoy you?
Let’s face it, you need Ghandoo – desperately.
O Sattu Debraaa …. be silent. dont get annoyed. You seem rather rattled, little wittle kid…Have your little buttons been pressed? Poor you.
Ghandoo-ji will help, don’t worry. Meanwhile, I suggest you make far more effort to find your sense of humour (and your common sense).
And now you reduce yourself to a small boy in a playground…Most revealing…
The Joke continues….
I’m simply amused by how dense you are, egghead.
Not so dense that Humpty Dumpty can’t fall off a wall. Eggy, come to Bangalory and Gandhooji will save you from the world of pure ignorance.
Heyyyyy … GandhuLokkaa u r simply fattu ..fattaFatti ..nothing else. why u r getting annoyed… calm down. Gandhooo is arranging funeral for your stinking and repeatative thoughts coming from an unconditioned mind…hahahahaha …LOL!!!!
Lokka D Thoka- Sattu Debraaa is jealous, jealous of your close, personal connection with gandhoooji-goosie -goo.. but the message that you transmitted for him- he stole from SN posters some 6 months ago. getting goosed by your guru must be an enlightening experience… how else would he know about the 2 fer 1 deal on greasy lube.. try k-y, comes off quicker. peace my goosed up friend… LOVE.
O Sattu Debraaa .. u r getting so annoyed that yr split n illusive personality has started to reflect yr own poor condition in yr status.
Yes, of course, egghead, of course.
O Sattu Debraaa …. are you busy with Gandhooo Maraj. Pls cont. yr fully faltu jokes… lot of fun on this board.