Some years after I took Sannyas…

Arpana – a Realisation

Some years after I took sannyas, well into my 30s, I took up drawing and painting, and there is a direct connection to sannyas. I would not have gone into art without having explored meditation and sannyas; I would not have gone into art if I had not met Osho.

I initially went about this very formally; learned to draw, as I had no background, apart from very young efforts during school days, and then a few months after I’d started began to experience impulses to do something completely out of my imagination.  One afternoon, using poster paints, let go, and let go, take a risk this was for me, (Had to step outside my fear of being laughed at.) to paint a bright image of tepees, fir trees. Mountains and rivers, with a large totem pole in the centre of the piece,  and painted in a very childlike style. I was delighted with my effort. Chuffed to bits.

A friend of a friend saw the painting and thought a child had produced  the work, but also loved the image to bits, and even more so that a grown man had managed to come up with such a painting. (Which I both enjoyed and felt a bit uncomfortable about.)

A week or so after that, a couple of friends visited me for a meal, one saw the painting on my wall and was really disapproving, and said I could do better than to paint pictures with such obvious phallic symbolism.

About six years ago, one Christmas, my mother came to stay with me, and on the day she arrived we went out for a walk to the local shops, and I, particularly, was looking for a pair of nutcrackers, so that I could pig out on the large bag of Filbert nuts I had treated myself to, and in fact couldn’t get a pair.

That evening had a brainstorm, and retrieved two small tack hammers I had from the toolbox, upended one, placed a nut on top of the handle, and did the cracking with the other. (This in fact worked much more effectively than a standard pair of nutcrackers.) My mother came in and was instantly delighted at my inventiveness and sat down with me, while I cracked nuts and shared with her, as we talked. A very nice moment.

Sometime later in the evening, went for a walk and was considering this, and well pleased to realise that this was a bit of primal toolmaking, creativity manifesting.

Then I realised that not only had I invented a tool, which tickled my mother pink, I also realised that if my father had walked in on me, when I still had the misfortune to live under the same roof as him, he would have pissed all over me, wiped the floor with me; for being so stupid as to not remember to get proper nutcrackers; made me stop, and his words would have been to the effect ‘If you can’t do something probably don’t do it at all.’

The first incident was a bit of a seminal moment. Relatively early in my sannyas days; that made me realise and gave me some clarity, that whatever you do, someone will approve, and someone will disapprove. Sometimes more than others. Sometimes less, and the point is you might as well do what you want (providing no actual, obvious harm is going to land on another, ) as opposed to do what you don’t want, because either way someone’s going look down their nose at you, at the very least.

So this is my way into such debates as,  who is right about the people who run the ashram. Those people who are for them, or those who disapprove of every breath they take, who are actually nieve enough to believe that if they took over all the criticism would cease.  Or was Maitraya Ishwara enlightened? Or was he not?  What after all is truth?

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25 Responses to Some years after I took Sannyas…

  1. Lokesh says:

    ‘What after all is truth?’ A good question.

  2. shantam prem says:

    Someone will approve, someone will disaaprove; look at the happy family life of Doctor President Assad from Syria; why people are thirsty for his blood?
    Who can ensure next president will be better and so educated and having British private school educated wife?
    Let it be as it is…Existence takes care.
    Mother to his teenager son in his mid 40´s: “You are coughing too much because of your smoking. Why you don´t go to the doctor?”
    ” You are really naive, Mom! Don´t you think doctors also smoke?
    Have you not read in the Daily Mail; average age of doctors is not more than the average Joe?”
    The man, the founding father of Osho Pune, had made it categorically clear that there will be a team of trustees and not one man show after his departure. It is almost like American forefathers who made it clear that President will be at the most for two terms of four years each.
    And that is it, rest will be betrayal.
    I know there are people in the world who are so satisfied with their opinion; if someone destroys the foot ball stadium and creates Tennis Court over that, these chaps will be still happy-go-lucky, ” What is the problem? It is still a play ground!”

  3. Arpana says:

    Slaves to the opinions of others, even if the slavery is being against the opinion of the other.

  4. ananto says:

    Good story Arpana, thank you…..
    ‘You can only be that which you are; all becoming is just moving towards the being which is already there. You may wander and knock on others’ doors, but this is just playing hide and seek with yourself’.”

    When the Shoe Fits [Indian Edtn p. 61].
    :-)

    • Arpana says:

      Thanks, Ananto.

      Yes, Osho and meditation have enabled me to become the very private introvert I really am, as opposed to the often not sure if he was coming or going extrovert I wasnt really, before sannyas; a sort of extroverting introvert, although I did have some great times as well as hard times pre- sannyas. Did a lot of cavorting. LOL

      • ananto says:

        Well, there is nothing wrong with cavorting.
        I used to love a good cavort, but having turned sixty this year these days a nice cup of tea and a zazen does the trick…
        There’s a right time for everything and you are in your right time right now, Arpana.
        Every success to you, beloved. :-)

  5. shantam prem says:

    Breaking News….
    As I have got a confirmed report from my Friends in Pune, the documents which Soso Resort has submitted in court, it is mentioned, ” There was never an Osho Samadhi and Osho was not a religious person”
    If it is true I will say, ” More low one can not fall”.

  6. shantam prem says:

    The desire to hold to the position creates all kind of thoughts.
    If the Resort authorities have their way, they will not hesitate to submit before the court an affidavit of support signed by Hugh Hefner that Osho has gifted the Pune property to him as he was secretly financing the Rajneesh Rolls Royce collections during 1982-84.

  7. shantam prem says:

    Frank,
    Don´t feel shy. At least once on this site, please spit it out your Komisch” sannyas name given by that little man with big beard from Pune who promised easy jet flights for one and all to the other shore, who will have his mala as an immigration proof and who will give parroted answer, “No sir, we are not religion,we are not religious but spiritual.”
    I am sure you had a sannyas name and being one of those mice who leave the sinking ship, you are almost claiming as if you just went there once for few years for an extended morning walk…

    • Arpana says:

      Shantam.
      You stand in relation to Frank, a puddle by the side of the road, compared to an Ocean. ( Just as Franks stands in relation to Parmartha as a puddle to an Ocean. )
      Only kidding Frank.:)))
      Dead serious Shantam.(:

  8. Lokesh says:

    Dictionary definitions of the word ‘religious’ include the following:

    1. Having or showing belief in and reverence for God or a deity.
    2. Of, concerned with, or teaching religion: a religious text.
    3. Extremely scrupulous or conscientious: religious devotion to duty.
    4. A member of a monastic order, especially a nun or monk.

    Em…erm…didn’t Osho live a bit like a monk in an air-conditioned cell? He did do a bit of teaching when he was a teacher. Ehm…what did he have to say on the matter? ‘To be in romance with life is religion.’ Does that answer the question? Not quite. Guess the jury will be out on this one for some time. Who cares? Ehm….er…well, not me.
    What after all is truth? According to Ramana Maharshi ‘I am’ is truth.

  9. shantam prem says:

    Arpana, were you the only child of your parents, or had the experience of sibling rivalry?
    I feel contented when few people get pissed!

  10. Arpana says:

    I get it.
    You’re an only child, which is why you’re so immature,
    but lots of cousins.
    So sibling rivalry problems.

  11. ananto says:

    Irony of it being that those claiming not to be religious make a religion out of doing so. Very devout folk your non-religious.
    Being a sannyasin is a bit like being a monk, I reckon. You just get laid more.
    ‘In the world but not of the world’ sort of thing.

  12. Lokesh says:

    In this world, but not of it. Hardly original.
    What is truth? Shree Adolfo says, Great liars are also great magicians. Magic show? I will make you believe that you are in this world but not of it, even though every cell in your organism was created by this world.
    Impossible!
    Abracadabra!
    Wow, I’m in this world but not of it. Amazing.
    Now I will do my famous disappearing act.
    Poof!

    • frank says:

      Yeah, what a poof!
      What’s with sn these days?
      Full of poofs, twats and shiva shankers…
      Must be Kali Yuga or something….

      • Young sannyasin says:

        Are you afraid to lose the exclusive?

      • Lokesh says:

        I just disengaged myself from a couple of Facebook pages that are sannyasin-orientated. What is with these people? They are constantly harping on about the past and trawling over tidbits of gossip from Osho’s private life like it is hot news.
        For a movement that has its roots in living in the present, many of these people sound like my folks back in the ‘fifties, watching reruns of shite TV programmes like ‘All our Yesterdays’, ‘This is Your Life’ etc. In essence very uninspirational. Meanwhile, they are all receiving Osho’s blessings and helping bring his message to the world. Rebels? You have to be joking. In the world, but not of it! So immersed in the world of the past they are drowning in it and going down for the third time. I’m off to play with my grandson. He lives in the present and has never heard of Osho and can’t be bothered with what happened yesterday, let alone years ago. I can dig it.

    • ananto says:

      The old ‘uns are the best ‘uns. Got that…in the world but not of the world one… from Osho ‘Mustard Seed’ riff.
      Suspect he got it from somewhere else. The whole thang is an extended meditation on Gnostic Gospel of Thomas. Not his best work, but has some good Mulla Nasruddin gags.
      One of which reminded me of who Shantam could be a reincarnation of.
      You ever dreamt about carrying a staff that was too long at one end, Shantam?
      Could be significant.

      • Arpana says:

        I’m reading though this again for the first time since 1981.

        This section made a huge impression me then, and I come back to the paragraphs repeatedly.
        Talk about he shows us ourselves in verbal mirrors.

        Osho.
        The Mustard Seed.
        Just Enjoy Yourself
        30 August 1974 am in Buddha Hall
        THE TENTH SAYING
        JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERV E TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOUR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
        Everybody is already mounted on two horses, everybody is stretching two bows – not only two but many. That’s how anguish is created, that’s why you are constantly in anxiety. Anxiety shows that somehow you are mounted on two horses. How can you be at ease? Impossible, because the two horses are moving in two directions, and you cannot move anywhere.
        With one horse movement is possible, you can reach somewhere. With two horses movement is impossible, they w ill negate each other and you will not reach anywhere. And this is the anxiety – that you are not reaching anywhere. Deep down this is the anguish: that life is slipping out of your hands, time is becoming less and less, death is coming near and you are not reaching anywhere. It is as if you have become a stagnant pool, just getting drier and drier and dying. There is no goal, no
        fulfilment. But why is it happening? Because you have been trying to do the impossible.

        • ananto says:

          Osho is feckin’ brilliant and no mistake, Arpana.
          Just finished Mustard Seed again last night. Got it on Kindle now too, the aditional e-notes are tops on that. My old Indian paperback version is crumbling. You going to Oshofest at Leela next month, Arpana?
          Catch me if you are and I’ll read your cards for free.

          • Arpana says:

            I drew Justice and Lovers for yah.

            Clear sighted and intelligent, with a good heart.

            Good combination.

            Can’t make Leela. Arthritis playing up.
            Thanks for the offer of a reading though. :) )

  13. Lokesh says:

    Was not Osho trying to do the impossible? Waking humanity up from its eternal sleep of ignorance? No wonder he fell off his horse a couple of times. Or was it all a circus act?. He certainly had a lot of clowns around him. The ring master.

  14. ananto says:

    Nowt wrong with circus clowns, old chum.
    Some folk find ‘em scary though.
    Many a true word is spoken in jest and more than one sannyasin has found enlightenment via a [metaphorical] custard pie swiftly applied to their face.

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