Some notes on Sex, Love and Relationships in the West, from the perspective of Shantam Prem, an Indian who, since leaving Pune, has lived and worked in Germany for many years. Full of hidden dangers, it’s like a ‘minefield’, he says, but for which there’s one sure solution…
Between man and woman there are a whole bunch of feelings, not just attraction and love. With men and women becoming independent entities, all these feelings surface in modern-day love stories.
In a way, attraction and love lead into the world of hidden feelings. It´s these hidden feelings which create havoc and make life a real life Love Story, where a happy ending is not guaranteed. The beauty of a real-life story is that the script and dialogue are not pre-planned, two people have to act and direct simultaneously. To be part of one´s own Love Story is a very creative adventure, It is also a scary encounter with buried feelings like landmines hidden in the unconscious, waiting to come at the slightest provocation.
Nothing is more alluring and hypnotic, transformative and destructive than this four-letter word, ‘Love’, implying such a wide range of feelings.
I was telling my friend the other day that to leave a job one needs six weeks notice but a years-long relationship one can leave any time, any day. Man/Woman Relating has become almost a day-to-day contract based on mutual satisfaction and trust.
Because of such hectic love lives, the West is full of doubting people with broken hearts who have to become as expert as predators to avoid further betrayal and abandonment. Psychological rehabilitation resorts have waiting lists of preyed-upon lovers who opened their heart for New love and found out later they were one of many in the harem of a charming person.
An interesting theme is emancipated women who never compromised in their youth and left their phlegmatic husbands, who suddenly become scary with wrinkles on the face and hairs getting white down there!
Call it Nature´s miracle, men in their 40s and 50s become more powerful in the West compared to ladies. From time to time I’ve come across stories where one man is flirting and sexing with various women and these women become ‘sisters in distress’ with the hope that one of them will be chosen as ‘Queen Bee’…
Most of such men have no children or have been kicked out by their wives because of ‘over-the-counter’ flirting. The loss of youth and the natural desire for attention makes women susceptible to various kinds of therapies, seminars, gurus, satsangs and whatnot. Main theme though is very simple: “Love me again as my parents did or show me the feeling of first love.”
Based on such a theme, I have just come across a banner about online expert coaching for creating “strategies” to avoid the pain of betrayal and abandonment and be more happy, loving, caring, blah blah…
It is a sad state of modern western life where the life motto is ‘freedom of instincts, at any cost’. Humanity is forgetting the value of sacrifice and sublimation.
I am equally responsible for broken relations and broken families although I can make an alibi: “It was for Research Purposes.” Yes, I have become expert in ‘How Not To Fuck Up Loving Relationships’.
One thing is very, very clear: the wounds of love can be healed only by love. Two wounded hearts can heal each other or spray salt, because this is what one has got; here the choice is in human hands. It is all a game of lower mind and higher mind and beyond mind.