Dharmen’s Last Move

I knew Dharmen (‘Brian’ to me) as a friend for the last 10 years or more and having read the tributes to him here in a previous string I agree they are richly deserved.

A strange coincidence is that I almost certainly first saw him at the age of 12, on a Boy Scouts’ outing to a football match in London (Fulham v Man Utd.), where he was patrolling the touchline at half-time, selling roasted peanuts to the crowd! I just happened to remember this, which he confirmed a few years ago.

To anyone who didn’t know him he might have appeared as just another ordinary sort of guy, without much ‘worldly success’ or social status to his name, but he had great qualities, a meditative presence, a depth, informed by practical common sense, a quiet, gentle man, loving, calm under pressure, who showed great fortitude in adverse circumstances, not least during his final illness. Then, as Ken says, there was that smile…

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Dharmen at his last “moving” job

Dharmen/Brian was the sort of guy you could trust to do a good, conscientious job if he took something on. He advised me on a few computer problems, transferred online meditation/relaxation material onto cds for both of us and actually chose the computer I’m currently using.

He was a good companion on a few outings to football at Arsenal, cricket at Lord’s and pop/rock music at the Albert Hall, and I enjoyed helping him play tennis. A few years ago he introduced me to weekly Ratu Bagus Shaking sessions, which I found surprisingly therapeutic. Then there were the mutual recreational efforts to devise ways to ‘beat the bookies’…

He wasn’t one for wasting words, but when he spoke his mind it made an impression. I well recall that at a satsang meeting during which he’d remained silent most of the time, he vehemently declared the prime importance of meditation – of which, I’d say, he was a good example.

I’m glad I was able to say a few words of appreciation and thanks to him over the phone the night before he died. I wasn’t able to get to his funeral but I hear it was a special, very moving event, befitting such a lovely guy. As Amitabh says, he will be (and is) missed.

Satyadeva

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7 Responses to Dharmen’s Last Move

  1. shantam prem says:

    This is a sweet homage.

    One paragraph reminds me of many Osho people:
    “To anyone who didn’t know him he might have appeared as just another ordinary sort of guy, without much ‘worldly success’ or social status to his name, but he had great qualities, a meditative presence, a depth, informed by practical common sense, a quiet, gentle man, loving, calm under pressure, phlegmatic, who showed great fortitude in adverse circumstances, not least during his final illness.”

  2. Tan says:

    Is very nice to be remembered like that!
    Thanks, Satyadeva, and you are back and in great style!

    Thanks, Dharmen!

    Cheers!

  3. Lokesh says:

    Most touching essay.

  4. Parmartha says:

    Thanks, SD, good to see you back.

    Dharmen was, as you indicate, not always an ‘obvious’ adventurer. But,for example, he once told me he took a job when young, on a trawler and was out around Iceland for whatever the timespan of fishing trips was then.

    Even then he told me his lasting memory was of the amount of plastic in the sea.
    He said when he got back, I think to Grimsby, he did not even collect bis pay, it was definitely his first and last trip in a trawler!

  5. sw. veet (francesco) says:

    Thanks, Satyadeva.

    “Let’s drink to the hard working people
    Let’s drink to the lowly of birth
    Raise your glass to the good and the evil
    Let’s drink to the salt of the earth.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DE7w_HSqUU

    Hug,

    VF.