I dont share this view at all. Telling him to bug his own room, or knock off Amrito, just rubbish.

Here is another example well contoured in Maneesha’s book “Osho the Buddha for the Future” (which is about to be republished. )

Maneesha writes in her book:

“So how, you will wonder, did we reconcile all that Osho is saying about religion and priests versus true religiousness with the fact that we are now ‘Rajneeshees’, of the religion of ‘Rajneeshism’, with a bible called The Book of Rajneeshism and our very own pope, with her papal regalia for special occasions, in the form of Sheela? Osho has reiterated so many times that the last place you can expect to experience God or feel the essence of religiousness is within the confines of a formal religion. Yet that is exactly what Sheela appears to have created – I presume because we were applying for permission for Osho to stay under the category of his being a religious teacher. She wants to substantiate that by having all the trappings of a formal religion. Apparently, our lawyers have advised her that this is not necessary. In fact, it will prove obstructive when it comes to the issue of the separation of church and state.

It’s just a gesture and almost certainly none of us take it seriously. But later I wonder if Sheela used the situation to consolidate her position. For sure many of her strategies to gain and then maintain power have a popish ring about them.

Perhaps, because Sheela is not listening to him, Osho tries to warn us all through discourses that what we are doing, or allowing to be done, to his vision is the very thing that has been done to masters in the past. Perhaps what usually happens only after the master is dead, Osho is allowing to be played out now, while he is still alive, to watch what our response will be and to guide us.

Does any Christian who has any real understanding of Jesus believe that the pope embodies the precepts of Jesus’ vision? What would Jesus find, and what would he do about it, if he came back to earth today and met the pope in the Vatican?

In any case, one incident in particular illustrates Sheela’s popish behaviour: her editing of Osho’s discourses. By ‘editing’ I don’t mean the kind Devaraj, Devageet and I were doing – adding commas or correcting the English, as he has asked us to.

Unknown to most of us, Sheela actually cuts whole sentences and passages from not one but several discourses. Her rationale is that she is protecting Osho and the commune from unnecessary political or legal repercussions; that Osho is speaking on subjects of which he is ‘meant’ to have no knowledge and is thus incriminating himself.

Later, Osho spells out very clearly that not only are his acknowledged enemies trying to stop him talking, even his disciples wanted to hinder his message. He says he knows exactly what he is saying and is aware of the ramifications. But according to several sannyasins who know Sheela, her attitude towards Osho is that he doesn’t understand much that goes on in the world and it is up to her to protect him and to take care of certain matters without his guidance.

That she sets herself up as protector, one might argue, though misguided, is well intentioned. However, consider the position Sheela puts herself into as protector of Osho and censor of his words. Without his knowledge, advice, or consent, Sheela can, and does, interfere with Osho’s message to his sannyasins and the rest of the world.

From one particular discourse (December 19, 1984), she deletes several pages in which Osho talks about how he envisions certain corporations within the commune functioning. These many separate bodies he sees as necessary to decentralize power and avoid a concentration of power in the hands of just one person.

Now, why should the spiritual head of the commune be endangering his status by talking about how to decentralize and so avoid the abuse of power? To say that the discourse implies Osho is involved in the details of running the commune is analogous to saying that if the pope makes a comment about nuclear warfare he is making bombs! The more likely explanation as to why these passages are removed is that they signify a threat to Sheela personally…

[…] It is here that several passages are deleted. I for one would even dispute whether the phrase ‘other religious affairs’ is Osho’s and not Sheela’s; it does not strike me as a phrase that is characteristic of the way Osho talks. I could be wrong on that score but certainly there is no question that two pages later a phrase of Osho’s has been replaced with one that is not his. Osho has been saying that we should learn from the past and not allow organizations to use us…

‘And if you can see all the possibilities that destroy religion…’ Osho continues, ‘and before they get hold of my religion I am going to finish all these possibilities. Sannyasins can have a totally different organization. That promise you can always remember: I will not leave you under a fascist regime.’ 

But in the written discourse you will find the last phrase reads, ‘I will not leave you in a state of chaos.’

From Ignorance to Innocence, Ch 20, Q 1

Devaraj and Devageet are both present at this discourse, and they remember this particular phrase as originally said. In fact, they remember a good deal of the discourse and are aware, when they see the transcript given to them, that much material has been edited out. Trusting that if it has been omitted it is for a good reason, they ask no further about the matter.

Only some time later I hear that Zeno – who worked in the tape and video department where the initial editing had to be done – does ask about why so many of Osho’s words need to be cut and changed. Subsequently, she is falsely and deliberately diagnosed as having a positive AIDS antibody test and is sent to live with others in a special area set up for those having the syndrome. (This form of incarceration is used as punishment for at least one other sannyasin; apparently, rumour has it, because when asked to be involved in a drug run by one of Sheela’s gang he refused to.)”

“On September 8th we celebrate Mahaparinirvana Day (the day on which we celebrate all those sannyasins, past or present, who have died enlightened). Sheela is absent – it is the first ranch celebration day she has missed – and returns a few days later. It’s common knowledge that Sheela’s trips away from the commune, ostensibly to visit centres all around the world, have become increasingly frequent and lengthy. On her return from this latest visit she writes a letter to Osho saying that she no longer feels so excited when she comes back to the commune, that she enjoys more when her work takes her to Europe, Australia and elsewhere.

Osho responds to this on the evening of Friday, September 13, 1985 in the press conference in Jesus Grove. As it happens, Sheela is not present; she has a cold. Needless to say, Osho’s response spreads rapidly among those of us who are not present.

‘Perhaps she is not conscious,’ Osho tells the forty or so sannyasins present – ‘and this is the situation for all – she does not know why she does not feel excited here anymore. It is because I am speaking and she is no longer the central focus. She is no longer a celebrity. When I am speaking to you, she is no longer needed as a mediator to inform you of what I am thinking. Now that I am speaking to the press and to the radio and TV journalists, she has fallen into shadow. And for three and a half years she was in the limelight because I was silent.

‘It may not be clear to her why she does not feel excited coming here and feels happy in Europe. She is still a celebrity in Europe – interviews, television shows, radio interviews, newspapers – but here all that has disappeared from her life. If you can behave in such foolish, unconscious ways even while I am here, the moment I am gone you will be creating all kinds of politics, fight. Then what is the difference between you and the outside world? Then my whole effort has been a failure. I want you to behave really as a new man.

‘I have given Sheela the message that this is the reason: “So think it over and tell me. If you want me to stop speaking just for your excitement, I can stop speaking.” To me there is no problem in it. In fact, it is a trouble. For five hours a day I am speaking to you, and it is creating unhappiness in her mind. So let her do her show business. I can move into silence. But that indicates that deep down those who have power will not like me to be here alive, because while I am here nobody can have any power trip. They may not be conscious about it; only situations reveal your power trip…’

The Last Testament, Vol 2, Ch 23

How is Sheela going to receive this ‘hit’? We don’t have to wait too long to find out. The following day around 1:45 p.m. I receive a phone call from Mary Catherine who, for the past year or so, has been an editor with The Rajneesh Times. ‘Maneesha, I’m down at Jesus Grove,’ she says breathlessly. ‘I don’t know if you guys are aware of it, but Sheela is planning to leave. I think Osho ought to be told.’ ²

Excerpts from Osho: The Buddha for the Future by Maneesha James

(Tom Robbins, is the famous author of Even Cow Girls get the Blues and eight other novels. He is still alive, must be around 85 years old and lives in Carolina. )

” I’m no disciple of Shree Bhagwan Rajneesh. I am not a disciple of any guru. I am, in fact, not convinced that the Oriental guru system is particularly useful to the evolution of consciousness in the western world (although I’ll be the first to admit that what is most “useful” is not always what is most important.) The very notion of guruhood seems at odds with the aspirations of the passionate individualist that I profess to be, and I’d be only slightly more inclined to entrust my soul to some holy man, however pure, than to a political committee or a psychiatrist.

So, I am no sannyasin. Ah, but i recognize the emerald breeze when it rattles my shutters, and Bhagwan is like a hard, sweet wind, circling the planet, blowing the beanies off of rabbis and popes, scattering the lies on the desks of bureaucrats, stampeding the jackasses in the stables of the powerful, lifting the skirts of the pathologically prudish, and tickling the spiritually dead back to life.

Typhoon Bhagwan is not whistling Dixie. He is not peddling snake oil. He won’t sell you a mandala that will straighten your teeth or teach you a chant that will make you a millionaire. Although he definitely knows which side his bread is Buddha-ed on, he refuses to play by the rules of the spiritual marketplace, a refreshing attitude, in my opinion, and one that stations him in some pretty strong company.

Jesus had his parables, Buddha his sutras, Mohamed his fantasies of the Arabian night. Bhagwan has something more appropriate for a species crippled by greed, fear, ignorance, and superstition: he has cosmic comedy.

What Bhagwan is out to do, it seems to me, is pierce our disguises, shatter our illusions, cure our addictions, and demonstrate the self-limiting and often tragic folly of taking ourselves too seriously. His pathway to ecstasy twist through the topsy-turvy landscape of the Ego as Joke.

Of course, a lot of people don’t get the punchline. (How many, for example, realized that Bhagwan’s ridiculous fleet of Rolls-Royces was one of the greatest spoofs of consumerism ever staged?) But while the jokes may whiz far over their heads, the authorities intuitively sense something dangerous in Bhagwan’s message. Why else would they have singled him out for the kind of malicious persecution they never would have directed at a banana republic dictator or Mafia don? If Ronald Reagan had had his way, this gentle vegetarian would have been crucified on the White House lawn.

The danger they intuit is that in Bhagwan’s words, as in the psychedelic drugs that they suppress with an equally hysterical bias, there is information that, if properly assimilated, can help to set men and women loose from their control. Nothing frightens the state-or its partner in crime, organized religion-so much as the prospect of an informed population thinking for itself and living free.

Freedom is a potent wine, however. Its imbibers can take a long while to adjust to its intoxication. Some, including many sannyasins, never adjust. Patriotic Americans pay gassy lip service to their liberty, but as they’ve demonstrated time and time again, they can’t handle liberty. Whether more than a fistful of Bhagwan’s emulators can handle it has yet to be determined. It likely will take something more eschatologically dramatic than the unorthodox wisdom of a compassionate guru to dislodge most modern earthlings, be they seekers or suckers, from our age’s double helix of corruption and apathy, let alone to facilitate the human animal’s eventual escape from the web of time.

Meanwhile, though,  Bhagwan’s discourses ring a lot truer than most. He has the vision to see through the Big Mask, the guts to express that vision regardless of the consequences, and the love and humor to place it all in warmly mischievous perspective. Moreover, here is one teacher who is honest enough, illuminated enough, alive enough to openly enjoy the physical world while simultaneously pointing out its ubiquitous traps and trickeries. Zorba the Buddha!

Predictably, the journalists who’ve investigated Bhagwan have each and every one been befuddled by his methods, his messages, and the delightful paradoxes that they see only as flaky contradictions. Even many of Rajneesh’s followers end up being confused by him. Well, Jesus left numerous contemporaries, including fellow Jewish reformers and his own disciples, in a comparable state. It goes with the territory, which is why they say in Zen, “The master is always killed on the road.” Frequently he’s killed by those who profess to love him most.

When Rajneeshis misbehave, the media and the public blame Rajneesh. They can’t understand that he doesn’t control them, has, in fact, no intention of ever trying to control them. The very notion of hierarchical control is antithetical to his teachings.

When Bhagwan learns of vile and stupid things done in his name, he only shakes his head and says, “I know they’re crazy, but they have to go through it.” That degree of freedom, that depth of tolerance, is as incomprehensible to the liberal hipster as it is to the rigid square.

And yet, as an outsider who’s been moved, impressed, and entertained by the manner in which Bhagwan has put the fun back in profundity, I know it’s a level of wisdom that we simply must attain if we’re to climb out of the insufferable mess we most aggressive of primates, with out hunger for order and our thirst for power, have made of this splendid world.

Bhagwan: The Most Godless Yet the Most Godly of Men by Dr. George Meredith, 1987

NOTE: When Osho was shown the preceding remarks, he laughed and said that he didn’t believe in Oriental guru systems either. In fact, he disavowed any connection to guruhood, saying that the very notion of a guru-disciple relationship is an affront to human dignity. He explained that since his emphasis had always been on just being oneself, the act of refusing to be anybody’s disciple is precisely what being a disciple of Bhagwan is all about. Bingo!

“The first commune was destroyed because of women’s jealousies.

They were fighting continuously.

The second commune was destroyed because of women’s jealousies .

And this is the third commune – and the last, because I am getting tired. Once in a while I think perhaps Buddha was right not to allow any women in his commune for twenty years. I am not in favor of him: I am the first who has allowed men and women the same, equal opportunity for enlightenment.

But I have burnt my fingers twice, and it has always been the jealousy of the women.”

– discourse from Osho in Pune two. 

• The directors of Netflix’s “Wild Wild Country” said they are “definitely” open to doing a follow-up.
• The 6-part docuseries looks at the rise and fall of Rajneeshpuram, a city built in rural Oregon in the 1980s by followers of an Indian guru.
• Directors Chapman and Maclain Way talked to Business Insider about what they had to leave out of the series because they couldn’t find a place for it.

This below from the Business Insider article.

The directors of Netflix’s hit docuseries “Wild Wild Country” are “definitely” interested in a potential follow-up.

The series looks at the “actually insane” (their words) story of Rajneeshpuram, a utopian city the followers of an Indian guru built in rural Oregon in the 1980s. It includes free love, machine guns, Rolls Royces, and bioterrorism. But it’s not all about the headline-grabbing details. The series works so well because it’s both a wild ride and a nuanced portrait of a struggle between the cult and the local townspeople – complete with compelling interviews with the major players on both sides.

The series has gotten great word-of-mouth buzz since it debuted earlier this month, and fans are clamoring for a follow-up. They might be in luck.

“We are definitely open to a follow-up,” co-director Chapman Way told us about a potential “Wild Wild Country” sequel. “I don’t know whether we’d do a whole other season two, but maybe a one-off episode.” Chapman Way said that because of the popularity of the series – that they weren’t quite expecting – they have gotten a wide range of emails of people giving them new information and updates on the story of Rajneeshpuram.

Way also said he and his brother (co-director Maclain Way) were in the process of developing two other documentary series they didn’t want to discuss in detail quite yet.

As to what form a “Wild Wild Country” follow-up would take, the Way brothers were not specific. But they did mention one particular element they left on the cutting-room floor for the 6-part original series: a “day in the life” section.

Here’s how Maclain Way described it:

“We asked our interviewees to walk us through a day in the life in Rajneeshpuram and they gave us some amazing material, almost in the mundaneness of it. But really beautiful answers about how they would wake up, and sometimes they would sleep in, or get a little tea. And after breakfast they would go get some work done in their department, and then they’d come back for lunch. Some people worked as mechanics in Rajneesh Buddhafield garage, some people worked in PR and they would go to their office, some people worked in the legal department, some people worked the farms. [It was] just really interesting to hear them slow-walk you through an average, typical day. It was just something we couldn’t find a spot for. But maybe as a DVD extra or something we’ll be able to get it up there.”

If “Wild Wild Country” does get a sequel, it will no doubt appear on Netflix. The Ways said they loved their experience working with the streaming giant, who also distributed their previous documentary “The Battered Bastards of Baseball” (2014), after buying it at Sundance.

And the Ways hope others will dig into the Rajneesh story as well.

“We feel no ownership over the story of Rajneeshpuram,” Maclain Way said. “It belongs to the public and there is a ton of footage out there, and archives, and even stories and angles that were not included in ‘Wild Wild Country’ that I would be the first person to buy a book about, or watch another documentary or podcast [about].”

THIS STORY FROM SANNYASWIKI  presents a flow of Osho’s words during the period of his big name-change from Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh to Osho, from Dec 1988 to Feb 1989. That presentation gets particularly detailed after he has dropped “Bhagwan”, so as to demonstrate a pattern in his words and how they relate to the events of that time. The pattern is this: At a time when he has no clear name — a big deal for publishing and PR purposes — he comments again and again on this word “Osho”, which he has rarely done before, and makes this word “Osho” out to be a wonderful term to convey respect and love for a master. Well! What can he be pointing to?

The synchronicity of Osho’s words on the use of “Osho” as a term of respect and love in Japanese Zen and his actual adoption of the name “should” be enough to explain the origin and meaning of his name but less than a year later, a different explanation began to appear and before long became widely accepted. This competing explanation needs to be addressed and debunked. Why this is important will become apparent.

The William James Version

The alternative explanation is that the word / name “Osho” derives from William James’ word “oceanic”. This word was not coined by James but his usage of it is said to have been original, and in fact it aligns / resonates well with Osho’s vision. Osho has cited and commented (very positively) on James’ usage at least eleven times, as found by using the search terms “James” and “oceanic”.  This pattern of persistent positive commentary thus makes the “Oceanic-Osho” connection at least plausible.

But there are a few things lacking or out of alignment in this theory which make it rather less attractive when considered closely and cumulatively:

First, timing: Only one of Osho’s eleven occasions of commenting on James and “oceanic” occurs in this critical time period, Dec 1988 to Feb 1989. Nine of the other times were earlier in the Pune Two era and there was one in 1972. None came after those. .

Second, not once anywhere does he publicly draw a connection himself between “oceanic” and “Osho”. This connection is not to be found in his public words, period. He may have made it privately, with his secretaries or whomever, but not publicly.

Third, explanations of the derivation of “Osho” have been printed in many of Osho’s books published after Feb 1989, variously in the flap text, the colophon page, a separate page opposite the title page, wherever, and they evolve over time. . Here, we will just note that the several versions of the Japanese Zen master explanations more in tune with Osho’s words appeared well before the William James version (WJV, not to be confused with KJVersion).

Fourth, the commune newspaper of the time, Rajneesh Times International (as “official” as it gets), reported their version of the Japanese Zen master derivation ten months before any published WJV appeared anywhere.

Fifth, the earliest “insider” book to come out after Osho left his body was Shunyo’s Diamond Days with Osho. She says: “On January 7th, 1989, the name Bhagwan dropped and He became simply Shree Rajneesh. It was later that year in September that He dropped the name Rajneesh. He was now without a name. We asked that we might call Him Osho. Osho is not a name, it is a common form of address used in Japan for a Zen master”. This is on p171 of the first Rebel edition of her book, believed to have been published in 1992. Shunyo is as much an insider as anyone and thus her complete non-mention of William James and “oceanic” is important.

Sixth, in the time after his name became Osho, all the old books remaining to be sold under his old name had stickers put inside to explain his new name. As with the explanations printed in the books, not all stickers go with the WJV. It is simply not the only story.

One non-WJV sticker says:

It can be seen at From Bhagwan to Osho: Publications table that this is very similar to the non-WJV explanations printed in many of the books published after Osho changed his name.

The William James stickers say:

There are a couple of major problems with the story on this sticker:
1. It cannot be emphasized too strongly that Osho has nowhere ever explained publicly that his name derives from “oceanic”. The assertion cannot be justified by his published words. So if he did “explain” this derivation, it could only have been privately to “insiders”, and it was not mentioned by Shunyo, who surely would have been among those in the know.
2. “Later he came to find out”? Really? Was that supposed private “Oceanic-Osho explanation” prior to all his talks in the name-change period that we have seen? This does not seem plausible at all. Osho’s words in early 1989 show clearly that he knew very well that “Osho” has been used historically in the Far East. And in fact, he talks about that historic use of “Osho” a number of times before that period as well, as far back as Jun 1988. Relevant text from those occasions is presented at “From Bhagwan to Osho: Prequel to Osho’s name change“. So when you get down to it, the abundance of time-stamped evidence shows that this “Later he came to find out” has no basis in factual truth.

In fact, the falseness of this “Later he came to find out” is demonstrated beautifully in a small section of an “official” biography of Osho,  It reads:

January-February 1989: He stops using the name “Bhagwan,” retaining only the name Rajneesh. However, His disciples ask to call Him ‘Osho’ and He accepts this form of address.”

There follows, more or less word-for-word, the text of the WJV sticker above. The juxtaposition of “His disciples ask to call him Osho” with the WJV is a major slip in “the story”, apparently trying to “marry” the WJV to the previous explanation published in the Rajneesh Times, wherein sannyasins had first individually asked and then collectively decided to call him Osho, all in its natural context of Osho’s Zen discourses.

It apparently was not understood by those who arranged this shotgun marriage that for sannyasins to “ask” to call him Osho, there must already have been some collective understanding about what “Osho” means, and where would this collective understanding have come from? Even if Osho had somehow, somewhere “explained” about William James and “oceanic”, it was not publicly, so it is simply not possible that sannyasins could have collectively had any other idea than the Japanese Zen usage as a basis for asking. And the “Later he came to find out” is, seen in this context, icing on the cake of this bogus story.

The question must therefore be asked … Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to change the story of Osho’s name. So much trouble, and going in a very different direction from Osho’s public words … It must be something big.

Well SN bloggers what do yo say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh98fa6HHEw

Many musicians have a sort of narcissism, but I did not see it in Miten. I wish him well:

This entry not for comments.

I don’t know if any other writer has used Osho as in character in a work of fiction before. I am considering bringing out all three books in one 460,000 word long magnum opus. Because of this I have returned to my first book, Mind Bomb, and started revising it for the umpteenth time. What follows below is a short excerpt describing my main protagonist, Angus, attending Osho’s cremation. I wasn’t actually there and had to develop this account from various sources. This is where SN punters come in. I’d like you to read it and if you see anything that does not sound right or is inaccurate please comment. I have worked in the creative arts for most of my adult life and am therefore accustomed to creative criticism. Fire away. Thanks, Lokesh. (writing name Luke Mitchell)

“The funeral pyre was burning as hot as a furnace. Angus’s robe clung to his sweating body like an extra layer of thick skin. He wanted to stand back from the fierce heat but couldn’t, because he was hemmed in by hundreds of people. They were crowding round to say a final farewell to their beloved spiritual master.

Osho had died in the milieu in which he’d become accustomed to while alive. During the last thirty years of his life he had been constantly surrounded by controversy, levelled by detractors, which was buffered by the ceaseless love of his devotees. The current debate was centred on the cause of his death. Was he, as the guru claimed, a victim of thallium poisoning? This highly toxic chemical element allegedly mixed with food given to him by employees of the U.S. Government in a plot hatched and implemented in 1985, when the guru was arrested and detained within the shadowy confines of the American Penal System. Or had he, as others claimed, succumbed to the combined effects of a chronic neurological disease and an alleged addiction to prescription tranquillizers coupled with massive inhalations of nitrous oxide? There were even rumours circulating that the master had requested his personal physician to inject him with a lethal concoction of barbiturates and curare-like poison to end his life, which would have explained the rush to cremate his corpse, thus avoiding the legal complications that would have arisen had an autopsy been carried out to determine cause of death.

Standing by the funeral pyre, none of these possibilities coloured Angus’s perception of this anarchistic, Zen-like master’s sudden departure from the earthly plane. He was certain that the world had just lost a crazy diamond from its crown of creation.

The searing heat of combustion was not the only phenomenon that was intense down at the cremation ground that evening. The powerful charge of psychic energy permeating the atmosphere was so tangible it could have been bottled and sold as ‘Incredible Vibrations’. Angus felt like he was witnessing a scene right out of The Bible or some other religious storybook. Everyone present, including himself, was wearing a white robe that, by reflecting the light from the fire, glowed with vibrant shades of orange. To the sound of frantically beating drums, voices raised in song and intermittent screams, the master’s extended international family of lovers, disciples and friends could be seen going through the whole gamut of human emotion: grief, desolation, anger, bewilderment, joy, ecstasy, bliss and even madness. It was all there, registered on the faces of those gathered around the blaze.

In the background loomed a tall banyan tree. Angus looked up and could see people sitting upon its thick boughs. The pupils of their eyes were glowing like rubies, illuminated by the fire and highlighted by the jet black backdrop of a moonless night. By the banyan’s long hanging roots stood a small Shiva temple. Over the past few years, Angus had gone there many times to share the company of wandering mendicants, who would use the pilgrim’s shed by the shrine as a stopover for the night on the road to nowhere.

When an updraught of cool air fanned the flames rising from the pile of wood, soaked in boiled butter, his attention returned to the blaze. The fire crackled, roared and flared. At the heart of the inferno the sage’s body was burning and vaporizing, his once noble head reduced to a charred and broken skull full of bubbling brain matter. It was Osho who had first introduced Angus to the radical concept that death could be seen as a cause for celebration rather than sorrow. He’d described death as a beautiful experience, so intense there is nothing in life that can be compared with it. Nevertheless, the master had often drawn comparisons. Angus had heard Osho portray the release that came with death as being like a cosmic orgasm or, to use a more down to earth metaphor, like removing a too tight shoe from one’s foot.

During the last years of his life, Osho had been plagued by ill health and suffered extreme physical discomfort, to the extent that it would have driven a lesser man to distraction. Now that the master had stepped out of a pair of shoes that were a few sizes too small for him and dissolved into an ocean of bliss, Angus let out a cry of exaltation. The physical form of the most remarkable man that he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting was gone. However, Osho’s rebellious spirit would live on unabated as a palpable presence in Angus’s life and others like him all over the world.”

While he was a student there his confusion got worse and worse, until finally he had a complete nervous and mental breakdown.

“It was all darkness”, he said. “In every small matter there was doubt and nothing but doubt. Only questions and questions remained without any answer. In one respect I was as good as mad. I myself was afraid that anytime I might become mad. I was not able to sleep at night.

“Throughout the night and the day, questions and questions hovered around me. There was no answer to any question. I was in a deep sea, so to speak, without any boat or bank anywhere. Whatever boats had been there I had myself sunk or denied. There were many boats and many sailors, but I had myself refused to step into anyone else’s boat. I felt that it was better to drown by oneself rather than to step into someone else’s boat. If this was where life was to lead me, to drowning myself, then I felt that this drowning should also be accepted.”

“For one year”, he said, “it was almost impossible to know what was happening…Just to keep myself alive was a very difficult thing, because all appetite disappeared. I could not talk to anybody. In every other sentence I would forget what I was saying.” He had splitting headaches. He would run up to sixteen miles a day, “just to feel myself”, he said. Whole days were spent lying on the floor of his room counting from one up to one hundred and then back down again.

A close friend of ours (my boyfriend/Shashwat) died on 9th Feb, 2018 in Pune. He had left this very precious album of Osho photos at link below with a sannyasin friend whom he met few months ago.

I thought you would like to see and maybe share on SN.

A gentle hug – Kavita.”

https://www.oshonews.com/2018/02/13/osho-in-jalandhar-1967-1968/