But she is a wonderful human being, and we get on very well, in our little commune of two people. We cherish our time together.

I think it was a rather unexpected death; perhaps there wasn’t enough time, clarity, and energy to say the last things we wish would accompany the people we love or those we haven’t loved enough—things that, if they remain in our hearts, then we struggle to bear the weight.

Grief has a certain weight; crying helps me, but for it to work, I need to be alone, while for your mother, having you by her side is perhaps the greatest joy.

A little more silence and solitude, then you can dance with her.

If Lacan’s insights about language have any foundation, then in a place like this, where words become an expression of the unconscious, and not a neutral means of communication about a shared reality, the metaphors and metonymies of Buddha’s world, castrated of its carnal dimension, make you ignore, along with his belly, the revolutionary and non-metaphorical importance of a Master with a hard penis.

Yes, Kavita, for me, Osho is a Master of reality, aware that for several decades the human race has been suffering a violent, subtle, and stubborn defeat, yet he is well aware of the fragility of the model of humanity proposed by the victors, the truly sexually impotents, with money as a phallic prosthesis… now, the faggots with other people’s asses are trying to scare us with the ship’s mouse.

In short, if this is the political analysis that best captures the world, the attempt to retreat into an ivory tower is far removed from the natural flow of Buddhist compassion.

You are probably in the opposite phase to mine; you start from a deeper rootedness in the Zorba dimension and move toward the flowers, while I am more intoxicated than you with the fragrance of flowers and glide towards the market.

In the ivory tower, one stays just long enough to create the space to face the war of liberation that awaits us outside; we are no longer in the 1970s, no artificial paradise to hide in.

Which certainly means on SN the energy is more towards the Buddha dimension. The Sangha existencially is / was intrinsically created for that.

According to what you say, “without a full belly it is unwise to meditate”, then my only question to you is: do you have a full belly now?

This doesn’t mean there can’t be sannyasins who deserve the reputation Lokesh speaks of… I don’t know if he includes himself in it.

Being or having been spiritually intimate with someone doesn’t mean that on the political level (Zorba’s dimension) there can’t be misunderstandings, arguments, and disappointments, because the material world is one, organized as a phenomenon that unfolds on space-time coordinates, while there are billions of us who want to celebrate food every day, but not all of us want to pay for the groceries and wash the dishes.

It seems to me that many years spent meditating in India may have conditioned some people to perceive the material dimension, with most people too caught up in its power dynamics (in an attempt to survive or prevail over others), as less important than the spiritual one.

Osho’s metaphor of a majestic tree’s deep roots in the soil, whose blossoms reach high into the sky, captures my political perspective well, placing at the centre all the activities necessary for the tree of humanity to nourish itself. Without a full belly, it is unwise to meditate.

For me, returning from my experience in the Sangha is an opportunity to apply a vision of society that fosters a climate of trust for prosperity, sharing a political vision from a place of inner abundance.

This is not the case for everyone in this forum, perhaps especially after the deaths of Sam and Parmartha, as if discussing the practical problems of the economic ghetto we have been forced into, while keeping our eyes closed to better sense the expansion of the Hara, might seem unwise in the eyes of crafty friends.

This is a song I can’t listen to without crying:

When you’ll be little girl, I will help you understand who you are.
I will be close to you like I never have before.
We will slow our pace if I walk fast.
I will speak for you if your voice stops.
We will play at remembering how many children you have,
that you were born on March 20, 1946.
If you wonder why there’s that ring on your finger,
I’ll tell you about my father, aka your husband.
I will teach you to stand on your own two feet,
to find your way home.
I will repeat my name a thousand times,
because you’ll forget it anyway.

And…it’s yet another day with you,
to give you back all the love you’ve given me,
and smile at the time that seems like it never passed.

When you’ll be a little girl, you will truly teach me who I am,
to understand that your son has become a man.
When I hold you in my arms and you seem light,
like a little girl on a swing.
I’ll make dinner,
I, who barely know how to make coffee.
I’ll repeat your name a thousand times
until you remember it.

And…it’s yet another day with you,
to give you back everything, all the good you’ve given me.
And also defeat the time that hasn’t passed for us.

There are things you can’t erase, there are hugs you shouldn’t waste.
There are gazes filled with silence that you can’t describe with words.
There’s that anger of seeing you change and the struggle of having to accept it.
There are pages of life, pieces of memory that I can’t forget.

And…it’s yet another day with you,
to give you back all this life you’ve given me
and smile at time and how it has changed us.

When you’ll be a little girl, I’ll hold you so tightly
that you won’t even be afraid of death.
You’ll give me your hand, I’ll give you a kiss on the forehead.
It’s late now, be good,
goodnight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUi3iBgS6QQ&list=RDWUi3iBgS6QQ&start_radio=1

Anyway, Veet, just to answer your question…

Well, at the beginning of my SN journey, maybe 2009 or so, probably due to Lokesh, who had expressed such kind of a narrative to me too, I had started sharing elaborately on SN. Ofcourse, I have a tendency to be telegraphic but yes, when it happens I do share as elaborateIy as I can whenever possible. I would ideally not want to be selfish & aloof, I guess need to save one’s energy , about reputation = people’s opinion ,I mostly am very impulsive, guessing it’s my nature, I don’t find the need to change that for anyone’s opinion.

Btw, Veet, I didn’t have any Religious, Social & Political obligations as such before coming to Poona either, maybe due to my Father & his family’s theosophical & later J. Krishnamurti background.

Don’t be offended if the things I say in the interaction with the nickname “Kavita” might have some correspondence with the reality of your subjectivity; mine are merely interpretations of your writing, no claim to infallibility.

Do you think you fit the stereotype of the selfish sannyasin recently described by Lokesh?
Perhaps before meeting Osho, you were a person collapsed under the weight of religious, social, and political obligations. Now you’re just experiencing a relapse of disengagement, less concerned with what comes out of your mouth than what goes in, even if it will later be pooped.