Comments on: The Importance of Work: Osho’s view

By: prem martyn

prem martyn — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 21:37:24 +0000

Lokesh, it appears the ‘ hussy ‘ was definitely underhand with you, and that whatever she drained you of , whatever filthy load you dumped on her. Whatever bishop of yours she took to outwit you in her own cosy chess game , her lips have become sealed by your thickened, sticky tail erm, tale.
Questioning the arrival of the monsoon rain is also a normal response of many seekers in one place, as in ; what a shower !
Just rub hard with some shower gel, and you’ll feel better about the dirty count.

By: frank

frank — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:50:41 +0000

lokesh,
have you searched
“western religious seeker,naked,garbage dump,testicles”
on youtube?
you`ll be amazed.
its viral.
and thats just the video

that shakti sure knows how to turn a trick and make a few bob!!
she`s following her masters teachings….
ghandoo has always said
“all publicity is good publicity”

By: babasvetlana

babasvetlana — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:47:32 +0000

home sweet home

By: babasvetlana

babasvetlana — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:47:08 +0000

you mean you woke up in Glasgow!!!

By: Lokesh

Lokesh — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:45:42 +0000

Thanks for the comic relief, Martyn. Still haven’t made it over to Gandhoo’s ashram, due to a terrible headache from Shakti’s Mickey Finn.
I’ve also made a horrifying discovery. While in the shower, washing away the filth collected after lying unconscious on an Indian rubbish dump, I looked in the mirror and discovered lipstick on my testicles. Gandhoo only knows what evil acts that foul hussy performed on me whilst I was out for the count. The plot thickens.

By: prem martyn

prem martyn — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:45:33 +0000

The owners of SuncreamNews…..Have agreed at a shareholders meeting to re-name their organ the Gandhoo Gazetteer.

Owing to a number of requests from major shareholders their will be a book signing , lovey-dove-in at the Gandhoo Plaza on Wednesday followed by an energy event conducted by visiting members of the extended Gandhoo Royal Family of Legover und Windsor.
The event, known in the west as the Love of Baths, will undoubtedly be a watershed in spiritual history and will include doing something very amazing which no-one can tell you about, not even the receptionist who takes your booking( and of a slightly pathological lavender hue when pushed to explain things , so watch out).

However because it’s a secret then it is even more amazing than if you knew what it was actually about, because; your expectations are what you are actually paying for, not the event. Furthermore The Path of Shafts assistants will, however, take good care of all your needs making sure you have many undiscovered ones during the intro evening, which you are more than able to fulfil by paying into a non denominational Virgin Island Bank account, at the entry table, where you will receive a complementary and free rubber wristband.

Some shareholders have asked if there could be an interactive platform for a Gandhoo Gazetter video blog, however in the unlikely event of a prank caller no-one here would be able to answer anything honestly at any time.

Thank you in advance for your understanding

The Team and Staff , SunShine News…oops we mean all here at Top Guru and Gandbhoy Magazine.

By: Lokesh

Lokesh — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 15:09:44 +0000

Wow, man, I met Gandoo’s X at the bus station. She invited me for a chai at a nearby stall. Who could say no to a babe that looks like playpet of the year in a sari? So we sat down for a chai. I can remember feeling a bit dizzy as we chatted. I wrote it down to vertigo from staring into her deep eyes, but it had nothing to do with that and everything to do with drinking drugged chai. The bitch spiked me.
I woke up a few hours later. It was quite a shock. I was naked. My wallet, containing cash and half a dozen credit cards, had went the same way as my clothes. I had a terrible headache.
I found myself in the middle of a municipal garbage dump. I found some rags and started to make my way back to my hotel in central Bangalore. It took me eight hours to get there. Thank providence that I’d left travellers checks and passport stashed in a plastic bag in the WC.
I’m starting to have doubts about this whole Gandhooji thing. On the other hand I suspect that this might all be a device created by the master to speed up my awakening. I need to rest a bit now. Will keep you updated as the situation worsens.

By: prem martyn

prem martyn — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:25:27 +0000

It’s time we all started getting in the mood, as I know the editors are planning a special Xmas issue of SN complete with a Snowsho talent singalong; a discussion on Oregon’s wintry wonderlands: An investigation into Jingling Balls and Was Osho really Santa . Is Sanny-Happiness unwrapping the Xmas Present. And finallly .. If you are alone this Xmas will it be a Silent Night ?
…and please write in with your opinions as the editors are looking for some re-heated postings that are real turkeys, and whether some bloggers should ideally get stuffed for Xmas.
Remember to order your copy now at all good and happy and inwardly lit newsagents.

and Happy Knowall Noel to you all….

In the meantime you can merrily sing or croon along to this

The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.

By: frank

frank — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:19:03 +0000

update from ghandooshram….
ghandoo`s turning up the heat…
his crazy wisdom is mirroring our own insanity and he seems,out of compassion for us,to be getting comepletely rat-arsed to the nth degree allday everyday…
he`s now inhaling the exhaust fumes from his bentley three times a day,and downing pills like smarties from his faithful english doctor swami gordon ginpalace… he has also dumped hos old girlfriend who is now selling smack in bangalore busstation and recruited shakti(remember her?) from rival guru brian rajneesh`s stable to beat his ass with a hairbrush while he gives private talks to his doctor and his psychiatrist…they are known as the “mental sessions”.
“false memories of a madman” and “buddha in a mental chair”will be released soon.
but to be honest,there are cracks appearing.
some of ghandoos disciples have already firebombed a dosa hut in bangalore and there is talk of poisoned idlis in madras…
ghandoo may be forced to jump the night train to nagpur as the feds are rumoured to be closing in
he is talking of setting up a system for when he leaves us installing a gang of irish travellers in charge… o`casey or o`malley or something, and some wierd fat bloke called singh,i think.
sounds like a recipe for disaster to me,but i must watch my mind and not indulge in negativity.
meanwhile,i have been detailed to guard ghandoos house and make sure to repel any attacks from any black magic women who seem to be out to get him..
we live in interesting times……..

By: shantam prem

shantam prem — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 07:59:33 +0000

Why spiritualy awakened guys sound like Nerds?