The wisdom of mighty Bhorat flows outwards effortlessly from my deep within and it is essential that I catch some of it on paper!

I have a working title: ‘Autobiography of a Perfectly Correct Mystic’.

My guru, Swami Bhorat, has prophesised that there will also be a movie. Possibly, ‘Bhorat – The Movie’.

Yahoo!
Hari Om!

MOD: IS THIS A QUESTION, SHANTAM?

Laughter is indeed as sacred as prayer! But only in the context of serious spiritual therapy co-ordinated by a fully certified and qualified spiritual laughter therapist in an officially-sanctioned centre with the correct legal papers from spiritual HQ!

Remember, it is written by the ancient rishis in holy Vedas:
“A dog that thinks that he is an elephant is like a man who tries to plant his plantain between two ripe mangoes in Germany – he got no chance!”

Yahoo!
Hari Om!

I have lived in India for uncountable incarnations, and for at least 84,000 yugas and as a result have reached levels of consciousness and compassion that western baboons only read about in books!

Yet, out of deep compassion, I, along with Shantam, linger a little longer on this shore so as to throw scraps of dry bread to the needy duckies such as Lokesh, Satya Deva, Arpana, Frank and yourself.

Yahoo!
Hari Om!

Despite the well-known prowess of the ancient rishis in the field of plastic surgery, the recent attempt to implant the mighty mammaries of mighty Bhorat onto a skinny western model has certainly failed! To try to graft a pair of juicy Alphonso mangoes, the pride of Bhorat, onto a baboon in a vineyard was certainly audacious, but ultimately fruitless!

For those of you who are interested in the esoteric side of things, I can reveal that this whole mango plan was created by the Nine Men of Ashoka, the occult society that Osho spoke about in ‘I Am The Gate’!The same organisation also devised a plan to implant Shantam into the western world for the ultimate good of humanity – another project that has also failed spectacularly!

The plan was to bring the ancient wisdom of ancient India to the West, starting with the time-honoured practice of begging for alms. Like Krishnamurti before him, Shantam was singled out as the Avatar to fulfil this role and duly sent down to the Bundesagentur für Arbeit to beg from the Gora in order to further the destiny of humanity!

Unfortunately, like Krishnamurti before him, the avatar proved not to be up to the task! Indeed, he was found to be unemployable, not only for worldly arbeit but also for any kind of spiritual work at all! He used the free money to damage his own physical and mental health, stuffing himself with cheap meat, anti-depressants and getting addicted to porn!

Within a short time he was no more than a gibbering wreck slumped at his computer, unable to do anything but alternately ejaculate incoherently onto his keyboard and then complain bitterly about everything!

Mr Kipling was certainly right! Mango and grape battenburg or curried bakewell tart are simply not an option!

The experiment is over!

It is time, Bhai, to leave the spiritual wasteland of the West, where your attempts to implant your plantain into the western soil have proven to be marginally less successful than a blindfolded. one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest!

Yahoo!
Hari Om!