Are you to be found running up and down pitches on a Sunday afternoon, looking to the skies and declaiming “Owzat?”, in pursuit of eternal calm joy, mild clapping and a guru swathed in white jumpers whom you adhere to in times of mod-eration when passions need soothing?

And Parmartha,the co-creator of the sannyas site you are writing on has nothing to do with sannyas since the Ranch…how could he?

It’s all a just a horrid creation of those whiteskins who weren`t born in India like you, so they just don’t understand…
and those nasty whiteskin rats don’t even have anywhere to do dynamic in London…apart from in Manchester, everybody knows that…

And yes, Katmandu is in Uruguay, of course it is…
And you know what an old bearded man in the sky wants even though you never met him, I know you do…
And one day, you will lead dynamic in the Osho Auditorium, I`m sure you will and it will all be just like the old days (’88-’90) -
but only if you keep taking your medicine…

Now just sit up for me and take your conceitodrone…
We`ve given you the biggest dose because you`re the most important patient…
There`s a good boy!

And pop these electrodes on your head
pppffffzzzztttt…
Everything`s going to be all right….

A horribly addictive concoction.

There are apparently side-effects that include a craving for chuddie burgers and speaking in flowery metaphors that nobody else can understand.

In one in a thousand instances Conceitodrone can bring about an obsessive phobia concerning the running of Indian meditation resorts and imaginary relationships with dead gurus. In some extreme cases it has been noticed that one manifestation of the latter is the subject is under the illuson that they are somehow doing the dead teacher’s work, although when questioned about this the patient answers in such a way that it is obvious they haven’t a clue what this supposed work consists of.

The FDA has already approved the use of Conceitodrone. The drug’s name was derived from the fact that all subjects exhibit conceited behaviour patterns and tend to drone on about matters that are of no interest to others, and yet somehow they remain completely oblivious to the effect they are having upon others. Mighty strong medicine, one might say.

It’s my specialist subject:
The drug habits of philosophers, teachers and wisemen!
Not to mention would-be philosophers, teachers and wisemen!

Which reminds me,
Here`s a diagnosis:
Our very own “engine room” of Sannyas News and self-appointed defender of the faith…
what is he on..?
Some brand of SSRIs, I will hazard…
all the little signs are there for the discerning reader….

Living in a latrine/taking the piss…
subtle…

I like it.