Paradise is not in fact lost, just discarded or put to one side. Revisting is possible, but not always relevant.

Stories have been told, and become the mulch for new stories. Listen out!

SMILE YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA!

Esteemed Brother Phoenix!

I think you are trying to put my saintly patience to the test here when you write,

“Make your answer as skillfully funny as the last one and I will be happy.”

In the first place in riposte, let me say that your happiness is your own affair Brother Phoenix. My only concern is for matters of a weightier and graver nature, like taking care of my own illustrious presence, for example.

Secondly, I think perhaps I did not make myself clear in yesterday’s pronouncement as it would appear that the main thrust of your message has been written with the intention of butterlicking my sanctimonious bumhole! Or are you trying ‘to take the Father Michael’ as it were? If it proves in fact to be the former as I strongly suspect, let me leave you in no doubt as to the futility of following that avenue of enquiry. Nevertheless if you were to have some sharp incisive critical point to deliver ie were to ram home something hard all the way up my Bodhkin so that I were to cry out in surprise and joyful pain and Ekstasy – at that point Brother Phoenix I might begin to take your point seriously.

Thirdly, as you appear to be unable to decipher some of my hieroglyphics, I strongly recommend that you consult your friendly Frier of Lost Souls, Brother Satyadeva with whom you have been cross-breeding successfully you tell us. He is of a sufficient intellectual calibre in the matters of Holy Shoite, I have no doubt, to be able to guide you in the right direction whilst revealing the fairly obvious in my own humble scribblings. Should he be unavailable, try knocking on Brother Shantam’s door, which I think you might find profitable.

Finally, it is becoming clearer to me now through the sacred vessel of your earnest efforts, that you are of a rather youthful, innocent and naïve disposition. This in part explains why you have been gullibly led astray by the spiritual impostor Birdh Eggbantam. Take heed of my words carefully and stay closer to the likes of Brothers Lokesh, Dominic, Satyadeva and Prem Martyn (when he returns from his sabbatical leave),et al, should you be serious in your intention to further your spiritual education and practice.

I have spoken.

Brother Ashok

As to your other question: I have wings, so will fly… If sometimes so high, so that I am shot down, fair enough.

I see you have decided to engage with me, Esteemed Brother Phoenix – mercifully and thankfully in a manner quite different to that in which you engaged with the Esteemed Brother Bodh Ekhamtan, might I add. It would be of no use trying to lick my rather large bumhole!

So what can I say by way of reply? Let’s see. Ah yes, the following comes to mind:

“Fain would I climb, lest fear I to fall!” (Me thinks – but am bound at the same time to recognize was not written by my own fair hand, but by that of Sir Walter Raleigh).

Oh yes indeed, I feel I must confess Brother Phoenix, many, many are the times I have fallen from grace! Undoubtedly, I am often wide of the mark with the potshots I take from the sanctity, comfort and safety of my own personal shit-pot, and sometimes I have to suffer the ignominious task of having to eat my own shoite when it misses the intended target and boomerangs back at me! As evidence of this, please take a look at some of the dreadful things I scribbled regarding the Esteemed Brother Prem Shamtan Premium Gas (1*Lead addled), on the previous thread, which I was subsequently forced in the most humiliating fashion, (by my own conscience), to humbly retract. However I digress, so let us return to your own exalted personage. In this particular case, I see a glimmer of hope for the pilgrim, when you say my criticism of your “pompous preening”, is “not useless”. Would this constitute a frank and honest confession on your part that some of the shit thrown, did in fact hit the intended target? Can you say that with your hand on your heart? I do hope so Brother Phoenix as this would represent a ‘feather in your cap’ if you will pardon the expression, (no offence is meant here). Furthermore, your recognition of a certain failing common to all and sundry here, would set you apart in my eyes from some of the lowly scoundrels, you have been keeping company with recently, namely Bodh Ekhamtan! A lost soul who stubbornly refuses to take the hand of salvation offered him. Let us pray for his soul.

Finally, I would like to add that pomposity, preening, confusion, long-windedness, pretentiousness, pseudiness, taking-yourself-too- seriouslyness, lost-in-your-own-wordsness, lost-in-your-own-self-importanceness, foolishness, haven’t-got-a-clueness and condescension, Etcetera, Etcetera, are all subjects close to my own sweet heart. You may at this point Brother Phoenix if you so wish, enquire as to why?

Your Humble Servant & Meekness,

Brother Ashok